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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner has left me at 33 weeks pregnant

112 replies

Nayynayy · 31/12/2017 20:10

So yesterday I had an argument with my boyfriend, which stemmed from me saying he hadn't asked all day if I was okay and I really needed a hug... in which he said 'I should of got out whilst I could!" I left to go to my mums returning home this morning expecting him to be there but all his stuff has gone and I've not heard a thing from him. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I'm absolutely terrified. Also been told this week my grandad has terminal cancer and may only have weeks left to live and I'm now sat here alone in tears on new years eve!. I don't know what to do, feel like I'm going out of my mind. Has anybody else had their partner leave whilst pregnant?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nayynayy · 31/12/2017 21:21

Trying to think positive but I'm absolutely gutted. Think with the timing of it all too mixed with prenancy hormones is making it all feel worse and making me feel more lonely. Keep apologising to bump for sobbing so much

OP posts:
KalaLaka · 31/12/2017 21:24

This happened to me. In hindsight, I'm so glad it did. I was able to gather the skills and routine I needed from the start, so I could be confident that I could do it alone. And you can! Right now it'll feel like utter crap. It will get better! Don't take him back. Focus on you and plan ahead.

KalaLaka · 31/12/2017 21:25

Have you found good friends/family? Sorry haven't rtft, meant to be making food for dc...!

Sparklesdontshine · 31/12/2017 21:29

He sounds horrible, I hope you are ok

Appleandcinnamon · 31/12/2017 21:31

If you are worried about being a single parent don’t be. It’s bloody hard don’t get me wrong but sometimes it’s easier than having a grown up Baby to look after too.

I hope he is ashamed of himself for his behaviour. I’m not saying he can’t leave but to just piss off and not discuss it is pathetic.

Firstchild7 · 31/12/2017 21:31

I think even if he tries to come back u r better off without him if he can put u thee this he is not worth it u and baby deserve better

WORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORK · 31/12/2017 21:31

I was left when I was pregnant OP. Haven’t seen him since.

Best thing that could’ve happened to me. I was ready to raise one child not one & a man child!

LordSugarWillSeeYouNow · 31/12/2017 21:33

What an absolute twat. Poor you. I'm so sorry.

Maybe your partner has had cold feet of late and has used this silly argument to get a bit of space between you.
I know my partner was terrified of being a dad, despite wanting it so badly.
Hopefully he will come to his senses, what a cruel thing to do though.
I sincerely hope you're ok op Flowers x

BigBaboonBum · 31/12/2017 22:05

What an absolute cock-waffle. This will likely be the best thing he ever does for you! You don’t want somebody like that around. I know so many single parents and that kid will LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. You’re going to have 100% of their love and attention and you two can snuggle and bond and love each other forever, without some manchild spraying his patheticness all around the place

Flowers
Original poster
Nayynayy · 31/12/2017 22:26

I do hope I can manage on my own. It's just scary, like I'm really scared. I don't really have anybody I feel I can turn to and have nobody close by that can help when baby arrives. Everything feels such a mess and when the clock strikes 12 all I'm gonna be thinking is omg my baby is gonna be here next month , hardly got anything sorted yet either so got a million things to buy. Need to pull myself together but am still thinking /hoping he's gonna call... as pathetic as that sounds

OP posts:
LemonMuffin837 · 31/12/2017 22:26

@Nayynayy

Sending virtual hugs, I hope he breaks both legs in some sort of accident tonight xxx

mustbemad17 · 31/12/2017 22:29

It's not pathetic at all. Don't fight the emotions (omg such a cliche); if you need to cry/scream etc do it. Hide all his contacts on your phone, archive watsapp etc so that you don't see them when you look at it. Give yourself the time to have a meltdown, it's really cathartic.

Tomorrow is a new day & you can start from there. I was terrified of being a single mum the first time, but it's the best thing i did. My DD is my best friend. Things are different this time, for me the situation is easier, but i still have that little flicker of terror. Human nature & i think actually the fear is what makes you go 'you know what, fuck you. I can do this'

GottaBeStrong · 31/12/2017 23:06

I think it's awful that he has not only left you like this, but in such a way as to give you no closure. It is very unkind and actually disgusting to not at least leave a letter or something so that you know what is going on.

I was not pregnant, but my ex left me after an 11 year relationship by basically just disappearing one day. I never heard from him again and he was clearly still alive and kicking. I hated him for never giving me any closure. Now I don't care. He did me a favour in a way as I was better off without him. It is apparently not uncommon for certain types of people to do this disappearing and silent treatment act. It was soul destroying for a while, but it makes you very strong and independent.

Financially, if you earn under a certain amount, I think you are entitled to some help so perhaps put your information into the EntitledTo calculator and see what comes up: www.entitledto.co.uk/

Original poster
Nayynayy · 31/12/2017 23:28

I know I really don't understand why he'd leave me over the argument, all I needed was a hug and a bit of love and not sure why it turned into this. No closure is awful and just makes you question everything.
I'll have a look into what help I'm entitled to, should be fine for first few months just think when my maternity drops to smp I'll struggle with the mortgage then. Mad how things can change so quickly! Nobody would believe he's done this, everyone always comments how lovely he is... nobody really knows what goes on though do they

OP posts:
shatteredandfedup · 31/12/2017 23:36

You're not alone for midnight, It's you and your little one. Wishing you both a wonderful 2018.

This is the year you get to meet each other for the first time. In only a short time it will feel as if s/he has always been here, always been part of your life.

You're about to embark on an amazing adventure (it'll be tough at times, but no less amazing for it) and he's a fool to not want to be part of that. Let him go, he's not worthy.

You can do this. Flowers

Ijustlovefood · 31/12/2017 23:37

What a shit bag. Sending hugs op.

Appleandcinnamon · 01/01/2018 00:00

@Nayynayy

Happy new year to you and bump 2018 is going to be amazing xxx

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 00:09

Thankyou everyone.
Wishing you all a happy new year xx

OP posts:
juneisthemonth · 01/01/2018 00:23

Happy newyear @Nayynayy

I can't imagine what your going through. He needs a massive punch in the balls though, I'd happily do it too! Xxx

shatteredandfedup · 01/01/2018 00:33

Happy New Year Nayynayy! Xx

BigBaboonBum · 01/01/2018 00:52

Happy new year! You’re not alone Flowers

GottaBeStrong · 01/01/2018 01:28

You are right that no one knows what is going on behind closed doors. Usually men who do things like this are very good at presenting a wonderful front/persona to people outside of the house, if you know what I mean. It's a false front.

From what you have written, it was not what you said or asked for, it was just an 'out' for him - an excuse to leave and blame you, even though to everyone else it makes no sense at all as who is going to leave someone because they ask for a hug and a bit of attention (especially when pregnant). It probably could have been anything. I swear that people like this can twist things to make a reason out of anything for why they are mad/upset/leaving and so on. It's pretty crazy.

BattleCuntGalactica · 01/01/2018 01:31

I hope his bollocks rot off in a slow and extremely painful manner. Complete and utter fucking jizztoad.

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 04:24

@GottaBeStrong I think you're right, think.he was just looking for an excuse. Been waking up all night hoping for a tx but nothing. Feel sad but slightly relieved nye is over and it's just a normal day of me being alone not a celebration/party day. Think I've defo saw his true colours now and everybody's replies making me realise I do not deserve to be treated like this and how wrong he is

OP posts:
Peachyking000 · 01/01/2018 09:18

I hope you are feeling ok today. And remember what excuses he may come up with in future, this man has made you feel like this during what should have been one of the special times of your life.

When I was single during pregnancy, I remember feeling a bit left out at antenatal classes, and seeing other loved up couples in Mothercare and at the antenatal clinic. But honestly, none of that mattered to me once I had my beautiful baby. I think I found it easier managing a baby alone, without a partner to worry about.

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