Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Going to lose my baby

115 replies

1987Laura · 27/12/2017 11:36

Many of you may have seen my previous posts of getting bad news at scans then got told things weren't as bad at the last scan. Had another scan today where more things were seen. Not looking good and looks like i will need a termination. Devastasted isnt even close to what i am feeling right now. My partner was working away and is now on his way home so we can go back into hospital tomorrow and see the consultant

OP posts:
Beansprout30 · 31/12/2017 16:32

Massive hugs Laura, I'm glad you held her as hard as it must have been, she will always be with you, does she have a name? Love to you and your partner x

Iamchanging · 31/12/2017 16:50

Here if you need to talk. Just take each hour at a time. It will feel like you are drowning but you will get through it. 2.5 months in for me and I’m starting to have ok days which at one point I didn’t believe could be possible. It will be the same for you, but for now just try to eat and drink when you can. I became a recluse for almost a month as I just couldn’t bear to see anyone but my husband. You might be different but just do whatever you need to in order to survive the next month. I promise it gets easier slowly after that, never better but slightly easier x

mrsfee · 31/12/2017 17:30

My heart goes out to you. My husband and I were in the same position, at almost the same time of year, four years ago. We remember our beautiful daughter every day and carry her with us in our hearts (when you feel ready the poem "I carry you with me" by E.E. Cummings is a beautiful read). Forgive me if I've missed this but have you named your daughter? fx

Original poster
1987Laura · 31/12/2017 17:50

Thank you. We couldn't bear to name her

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 31/12/2017 18:20

I'm so sorry for your loss. It does get better, slowly at times but you will turn the corner. I lost a stillborn son at 26 weeks, and giving birth to him is something I will never forget. For the first few weeks, I was so numb I was so scared I'd forget how to breathe and the pain was overwhelming but I do promise that there is life afterwards, albeit a different one to the one you imagined and planned. Take care of each other and don't be afraid to shout, scream or whatever feels right to you xx

Original poster
1987Laura · 31/12/2017 18:40

Thank you. Still hasn't sank in yet. Can't stop thinking of how beautiful she is. Breaking my heart

OP posts:
MrsKrantz · 31/12/2017 18:42

Thinking of you. I'm so sorry xxx

juneisthemonth · 31/12/2017 18:56

I didn't want to read without saying anything. I am so sorry for your loss @1987Laura I can not imagine what you are going through. Xxx

Penfold007 · 31/12/2017 18:58

I'm so very sorry for your loss Flowers

BrutusMcDogface · 31/12/2017 18:59

She'll always be your beautiful daughter xxx

flumpybear · 31/12/2017 19:00

❤️ my heart goes out to you both what an awful time you've had. Be there for each other, grieve and hold each other tightly xx

MrsMozart · 31/12/2017 19:07

I am so sorry xxx

mrsincognito · 31/12/2017 19:13
Thanks
manandbeast · 31/12/2017 19:25

I’m so sorry for your loss Flowers

homtardy · 31/12/2017 19:29

I'm so very sorry for your loss Laura. RIP beautiful baby girl xx

NorthernLurker · 31/12/2017 19:37

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. How awful for you both. Especially hard to have had positive news at previous scans and then to have that taken away.

I can understand that naming her seems very hard but I do think if you don't give her a name you may think back in the months to come and wish you had done that. You don't need to use the name you had planned on using. She can have a new name that's just entirely hers. You said that she is beautiful. Bonnie and Belle both mean beautiful. Rosalind means beautiful flower. Does that appeal at all?

mrsfee · 01/01/2018 16:52

NorthernLurker, I completely agree. Our daughter does not have the name she would have had were she born alive. We chose something completely different meaning 'exceptional', because to us that's what she is.

I've been thinking of you today and hope you're bearing up. X

NooNooHead1981 · 01/01/2018 17:32

You have shown such immense strength and love for your beautiful dauhghter at such a painful and devastating time. She is so blessed to have you as her mummy.

I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you lots and sending so much love and hugs Flowers xxxx

Original poster
1987Laura · 01/01/2018 18:05

Thank you. Im doing ok so far. Haven't really cried to be honest. My man has a lot though

OP posts:
snowsuit · 01/01/2018 21:11

Nothing helpful to add except I’m so so sorry for your loss Flowers please be kind to yourself and take things easy while you recover physically and begin to try to process it all.

Almostthere15 · 01/01/2018 21:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. You've been so brave and words can't help I know but you're in my thoughts

weasledee · 01/01/2018 21:37

So so sorry Laura, I went through a tfmr at 14 weeks for patau syndrome in the summer, worse time of my life.... it does get better, very slowly x
Iamchanging, ive thought about you a lot, we were the two from the Jan thread that had sad outcomes, hope you're doing ok x

Iamchanging · 03/01/2018 10:30

Thanks @weasledee, I’m ok - good days and bad days I suppose. Hope things are good with you x

Original poster
1987Laura · 03/01/2018 10:45

My milk has come in today. I wasn't told this would still happen. I am devastated

OP posts:
Afreshnewyearplease · 03/01/2018 11:05

Laura i think there might be medication you can take to stop this happening Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread