I am hoping for a bit of a handhold as I’m feeling rather fragile and frankly terrified.
I’m 34 weeks pregnant. Getting pregnant in the first place was bloody difficult and took multiple rounds of IVF. This is the first time I’ve been pregnant and until 2 days ago, everything was going well. I was admitted with contractions and some bleeding 2 days ago. Things seemed to have settled down yesterday evening and I thought it was probably a false alarm, I was being a drama queen and I’d be able to go home this morning. Instead, that hasn’t happened and the contractions and bleeding have started again and I’m in labour.
I’m shit scared. I’m totally unprepared for this. Until about 2 weeks ago I struggled to believe there might actually be a baby at the end of the pregnancy and thought that maybe I’d somehow made it all up in my mind. Now I’m terrified that there will be something wrong with the baby (even though I know that at 34 weeks its chances are pretty good). I have been terrified of giving birth throughout the pregnancy and I feel totally unprepared for it-physically, emotionally and practically.
Added to this of course is that it’s sodding Christmas (although it doesn’t feel much like it) and I’m stuck in hospital feeling terrified, in pain and emotional. I don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting here, but just hoping someone can make me feel a bit better or at least less alone.