Health visitor requesting pre-birth meeting

[Bellamuerte]

The health visitor has sent a letter requesting to visit when I'm 37 weeks pregnant. I won't even have a baby for her to see so don't know why she wants to come?

Is it essential to have a health visitor? Can I decline to see them at all? From what friends have said it sounds like they're just busybodies who ask nosy questions about whether you're coping and rudely inquire whether your OH is violent, and nose around your house to see if they think it's good enough for a baby, and basically look for an excuse to call social services.

One of my main concerns is that we started extending the kitchen before I got pregnant and it still isn't finished because we ran into structural problems. It's basically a shell with no cupboards, heating or even a ceiling, and the work is scheduled to take another six months to complete. I'm worried that the health visitor will report us.

HV are there to 1. Make sure that the baby is well by taking basic measurements and 2. Provide you with support. This both invloves answering your questions and asking you questions. Sone of the questions like DV questions, while intrusive, are a safeguarding method and will only be asked if you are alone with them. Some of them are a bit rude (but because they are rude people, not because they are a HV). Most of them are perfectly nice and some of them are absolutely wonderful.

I was really suspicious of health visitors and not keen to have them about but it turned out I had PND and she, and my midwives were godsends. They were wonderful humans working in extremely difficult situations. I honestly believe talking to my HV saved my life and I still occasionally send her updates.

As a HV It’s quite nice to see a lot of positive responses for a change so thanks to most of you

Sully on the other hand...I’m not generally one to blow my own trumpet but I do like to think that multiple (ie. twice weekly for several weeks) to mums who are struggling to establish breastfeeding, accompanying mums with PND to the GP when they are too scared to go on their own, identifying DV and supporting women to leave abusive relationships, running baby massage and postnatal support groups, identifying developmental delays and supporting parents through ASD diagnoses and every thing else I do regularly is of some use to someone but you go ahead and criticise

As a HV It’s quite nice to see a lot of positive responses for a change so thanks to most of you

No, thank YOU. I think the majority of us are thankful for the job you do.

I met my health visitor before birth. She's lovely but the service so far hasn't benefited me and I taught the health visitor some new things and up to date NHS guidelines on one subject 😱. We decided together to end routine visits after my 6 week appointment as I didn't need the service, had her number and live super close to a surestart centre with clinics several times a week.

That said, my friend is one and some of the things they come across are terrible. One time, a family feeding a one week old Jaffa cakes mushed up and another gem, using the dog bed with the dog in it for baby to nap in. This service does help a lot of people. Yes they look at your house but as long as it's been cleaned at some point remotely recently and there isn't drug paraphernalia all over, no concerns will be raised for that. They aren't looking for show homes.

I used to be a social worker worked a lot with health visitors.they have NO desire to refer to social workers and love a calm loving family, they will provide u with details about what they do but also see if any services might be useful to you.

I had a pre birth visit from a HV. She was great. Even when I moved away from the area (although not the Health Authority) I travelled back to the children's centre she worked at to do weigh ins etc. She was a huge support to me when my ds's heel prick results were iffy. DS is 2yo now and she's left her post. I miss her.

BAR91 Someone actually tried to feed a one week old mushed up Jaffa cakes?! That is just awful and disturbing that there are helpless babies out there relying on parents who simply don't give a damn about them/ have a clue how to look after them. What kind of person would think it's acceptable to do that? That is just so sad

OP, you are indeed an idiot, just like your friends.

Victims of DV however, are not. You're fucking nasty.

I find the HV service pretty pointless - for me - and will be declining the antenatal visit, just like I did last time. It's both times been in my last week at work when I am frantically trying to finish stuff off before mat leave and it just isn't a good time. Plus I really don't want "support" for bf or pnd, which last time boiled down to them "referring" me to the GP. I can make GP appt myself. My HV is lovely but I would never in a million years want to open up to her about MH, or anything else really. She always tilts her head at me and says "aw bless you" in an incredibly annoying way. She had no info that I didn't already know from MN and was a lot less clued up than the MWs who really knew their stuff.

That said, I am privileged and I know that. I know how to get help for myself, I am not vulnerable, I am not in an abusive relationship. I can see how for women that are this service might help.

Seriously, rather than spewing venom on the internet, decline the visit nicely, put it out of your mind, and accept only the minimal baby health checks. Free up her time for someone who wants it.