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Original poster

I've miscarried...how do I know when it's over?

37 replies

WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 22:16

Hi,

So over the weekend I had some spotting that was getting gradually worse. On Monday I had a scan which told me I was only measuring 6 weeks when I should have been 9 and no heartbeat detected. Last night the cramps and lower back ache started and bleeding continued to worsen.

Today from about 6am I had bad cramping (but not unmanageable) and I was passing a lot of blood. I was having to change my pad every 10-15 minutes and each time I went to the loo I passed very large clots. I phoned the midwife and went to the hospital who said my cervix was opening and miscarriage was imminent. By the time the doctor had examined me at about 1oclock the bleeding had almost stopped.

I'm still having some cramps but it's no worse than regular period pains and very minimal bleeding since. Is it possible that I passed everything this morning or should I be expecting worse to come...?

If anyone has any words of wisdom to share I would be very grateful. Will I need to go back to the hospital again? How long does a miscarriage take? What should we do now? I just feel a little bit in limbo again as the doctor just told us to go home and come back again if it becomes unmanageable. What happens now? Xx

OP posts:
Elmosmum · 13/12/2017 22:28

Hi wiggly. - I'm really sorry to hear that and am sending hugs. I do know how this feels. From reading mumsnet every miscarriage experience is different, so if you're worried then call your EPU and explain your symptoms to them.

Your hormones will be all over the place so take the time to snuggle up and look after yourself big hugs Thanks

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 22:32

Thank you, think I just have to wait it out now. I just don't know whether to expect more heavy bleeding or for it to tAil off now. The last few weeks of this pregnancy have been filled with so much uncertainty. It's very upsetting and very hard! I haven't found the doctors/nurses that great at explaining either. It's very difficult to take it all in! X

OP posts:
soupmaker · 13/12/2017 22:33

I'm so sorry for your loss Wiggley. I've been where you are a couple of times. Yes, you could have passed everything and you could continue to have some spotting. Everyone is different so if you get pain or heavy bleeding again call the EPU for advice.

Look after yourself. I found the physical part of miscarriage easy to cope with but was an emotional wreck for months.

Scruffette · 13/12/2017 22:37

Hi Wiggly, I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard, I'm sure if it was unmanageable you would have no doubt so if it's trailing off then that might be that. I had flooding for weeks after mine which added to the trauma but every time I called the EPU they said that's normal, you're fine.
I was amazed at how many people i knew who had had a miscarriage and the best advice I was given was that it would get easier after your due date. It did. Not immediately but soon after. I think they recommend a period before trying again.

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 22:51

Thank you everyone. I think it's a subject that should be talked about more given how much of a big deal it is and how common it is! So far I think I'm coping pretty well, I'm trying to look to the future and take comfort from the fact that I now know I can get pregnant. But it is still very upsetting and not just for us but for our families too.

I'm just finding it difficult being stuck in limbo about whether it's over or whether we're not out of the woods yet.

Thank you all for your words of comfort xx

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 13/12/2017 22:55

I think you'll need to have a scan to make sure all the tissue has been cleared...that's what they did in the hospital for me anyway...glad I did as I had a lot of retained tissue and got an infection. The EPU organised itit.

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 22:57

@OuchLegoHurts I have an appointment which was originally meant to be a viability scan which is next week. Should I still go to that appointment then? X

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 13/12/2017 23:02

I'm surprised they didn't schedule an appointment. When I had my scan which showed no heartbeat I chose to miscarry naturally but they booked me in for a scan a week later. I would definitely go for your scan next week and make sure they check for retained tissue carefully. Also if you notice any smell (at all!) from the blood or it stays heavy go straight in.

intelligentPutty · 13/12/2017 23:06

So sorry for your loss. I can't say much else. It gets easier.
Xxx

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 23:13

@OuchLegoHurts the doctor was meant to be finishing at 1.30 and they were trying to squeeze me in before she left. I understand they are under pressure and short staffed and I am very grateful for the NHS but I didn't really understand the little information they did give me as I was clearly a bit all over the place and then they said we could go and left. We had to call them back to take my cannula out so I'm not suprised they didn't give me much information on what to do next. Just said to go home and come back if it becomes unmanageable and that was it? X

OP posts:
Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 23:14

And to make things worse I now have an upset stomach 😔 probably all of the stress of today!

OP posts:
Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 13/12/2017 23:14

Thank you @intelligentPutty xx

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 13/12/2017 23:18

Yes, make sure you go next week and if you're still bleeding make sure you tell them! They should do an internal scan to see what's going on. And remember, any smell at all is not good. I had a slight smell but I thought it was just from the power blood at the end of the miscarriage but it was an infection. Best of luck...it gets better. Mine was last month and I'm totally fine again now x

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 10:46

Thank you @OuchLegoHurts that's very reassuring. I just want it all to be over now so we can start to move on x

OP posts:
AKP79 · 14/12/2017 11:10

I'm really sorry you're going through this, it's shit.

For me my bleeding was worse before and during miscarrying the fetus. Once I had the bleeding virtually stopped.

Like other have said, definitely get a scan. I had retained products and had to have a D&C to clear things.

xx

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 13:24

It really is shit isn't it! Bleeding has picked up again with bad cramps again. X

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 14/12/2017 17:40

I don't think you should still be bleeding with cramps at this stage. I think you should get that checked out sooner rather than later. What day is your scan?

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 19:52

It only really started heavily yesterday afternoon. When I went to the hospital yesterday they told me that my cervix was only just starting to open so it was going to get worse. It's horrible though. Cramps aren't too bad now. But still bleeding quite heavily but they told me unless it becomes unmanageable then I'm to stay at home. My viability scan was for Monday x

OP posts:
MetricMarmalade · 14/12/2017 22:18

Hey Wiggly, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had two MCs in the past year and it is never easy. As far as I can tell, the length and severity of the bleed will depend on how far along you were.

With my first, I was ten weeks along and the bleeding and cramping lasted for about 9 days. The cramping came and went, but the heavy bleeding stayed for about four days then “dripped” for the final few. I took paracetamol for the cramping some days.

I was 7 weeks with the second and it was much shorter, lasting only 4-5 days and less cramping. In both cases my appetite was low and I slept a lot, and was told this is ok so long as I keep fluids up to avoid dehydration.

I will say, and this makes me sound like a right Debbie Downer but it’s something I wish I’d been told about: your first period after the mc can often be as painful, if not more so, than the actual mc. So be prepared for that x

I wish you all the best and I hope your bleeding passes soon. Take care.

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 22:26

Thank you, @MetricMarmalade. This is only the second day of heavy bleeding but it is very heavy bleeding. With lots of large clots. I just can't quite believe the quantity of it! It's not continuous but when it starts heavily it does mean that I'm confined to the toilet or shower 😔 Don't know how I'm going to get through the night to be honest! X

OP posts:
MetricMarmalade · 14/12/2017 22:36

But you will get through it x

I’d be surprised if it stays that heavy for more than a day or two. I know it sounds silly, but I actually wore those Tena lady underpants for a while Blush I felt more protected in them and that helped me sleep better.

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 23:25

@MetricMarmalade I just feel like I'm confined to the toilet or shower at the moment. If I try to move then I just get a gush of blood. Am I just going to have to sit here all night? X

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 14/12/2017 23:28

Towel on the bed, and close fitting underwear with pads in. Two pairs of knickers and two pads if you need to. When you stand up from the bed, hold the pad in place so you don't flood and it feels more secure. Maybe leggings over the knickers as it will hold everything in place. If you happen to have any then puppy training pads are great for on the bed Flowers

Original poster
WigglyWigglyWooo · 14/12/2017 23:38

Thanks @Ollivander84 so does this all sound pretty normal? I just need to ride it out? X

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 14/12/2017 23:40

It's different for everyone but it all sounds pretty usual

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