1st pregnancy 2 possible fathers

[2009lisa]

Im looking for help not criticism or negativity..
Ive just found out im pregnant after being told it would be difficult to concieve because of pcos ive been waiting for an appointment to have a diagnostic lap and dye put through my tubes..
I was with my partner 10 months we were both aware of me not being on the pill and was aware of the chances of pregnancy..
We recently split and i slept with sum1 else and now stands the question who is the father??
Details... because of my pcos i never have regular periods they can go from every month to 3 months apart there is never a definite amount of time my cycle is..
I had my period on the 9th of oct then with my partner dad#1 we had sex the 18th/19th/22nd/23rd/24th oct we then ended i met another guy possible dad#2 and slept with him the 29th just the once...
I found out yesterday i was pregnant and docs saying 5 weeks and 3 days... that dont help with working out who is the dad.
Can anyone help?

pinky made a good point. Sorry but you are irresponsible.

Actually pinky Has made an entirely valid point! You were sleeping with two people unprotected. One person may be known to you and STI free but the second person? Did you check he has had a clean STI test since his last unprotected sex?

pinky I don't know what part of you thought that was appropriate or helpful. OP is clearly very anxious, and telling her to go back in time and behave differently is both useless and cruel.

And 'make sure you have an STI test' is helpful advice, but it could easily have been delivered without the nasty and unhelpful judgement.

I do know the other person it isn't like it was some random I know nothing about and we had, had the conversation.. I'm not gonna go into this anymore I just wanted sum advice about where I could find out, how I could tell or if I even could
thank you lisasimpsonsbff you have been a great help and support

That's ok, and I'm sorry you got some really shitty comments. I really hope that you're able to find out and put your mind at rest as soon as possible.

You still need an STI test. (Your friend has casual unprotected sex) And use condoms with your partner until you get a clean result back.

Firstly, congratulations, must be wonderful to know you are pregnant especially after being told that it was very unlikely.

Secondly, how awful for you being in that situation. If I was in your shoes, I would speak to your ex partner who you were in relationship with and see how he reacts, get a paternity test and if he is the father then you can then decide what you want to do together (whether to try make it work or not)

If he isn’t the father then I would speak to the other fella and deal with it then.

Only you can decide and can’t offer any input into who it possibly could be as i am hopeless at the maths side of conception. 🙄

Also, definitely would get tested for STI just to be on safe side.

Yes, pinky is correct. One man was an established partner, but the other wasn't, so an STI check is necessary both for your health and that if the pregnancy.

There is no way to tell paternity when intercourse has occurred with two men so close together (sperm can live for 5 days, occasionally longer, in the body).

You will need a DNA test to establish paternity.

Agree with PPs that dates are probably too close to tell. BUT early ultrasounds are generally pretty accurate to a week. If ultrasound puts conception date right at the beginning of sex with guy 1, there's a fair period between that first intercourse and the sex with guy 2 so might indicate father

Still not 100% of course though

Congrats OP! 😊

Why were you trying to conceive with a partner of only 10 months

Because they wanted a child? It’s none of you r business.

The final paragraph of your post is beyond the pale. Total GF.

I think ive missed a comment there well looks Like it has been removed..
Im really not on here for any drama or trouble im general confused and asking for help

@2009lisa if your GP has dated by your LMP it isn't guaranteed reliable compared to someone with a regular cycle.

Once scanned say you're dated as 7 weeks that would be 5 weeks since conception or if 8 weeks 6 weeks since conception. However but as others have pointed out because sperm can live up to 5 days there may still be doubt.

Basically a DNA test will be required to be certain.

I guess you need to discuss with both men after scan?

Am so sorry you have this stress.

2009lisa I think if I were you I'd seriously consider hiding this thread now - you're not going to get any more useful information, and unfortunately it seems to be attracting some nasty people making posts that you may well find upsetting.

You can't tell until a DNA test. It's impossible. One mans sperm may have lasted longer... or been faster, both could have been present...

Your only possible choice is a DNA test. I think you can get one done prenatally.

Or you can come clean with both and see what happens with one after birth

Either way though.. you're pregnant. What do you want to do?

"im general confused and asking for help"

I think confused is the wrong word.

You know you dinmt know who the father is, and you are getting a unanimous response that you will only find out by DNA test.

The gap between the men is less than the potential life span of sperm. You will not get an answer other than by DNA. It really is that clear. You cannot get an answer without a paternity test.

I agree with posters who say you need an STI test.

I think you need to be straight from the outset with your partner that he might nit be the father. Hideously daunting to need to have that conversation, but way better in the longer term than leaving him in ignorance.

Yes, I can confirm that it’s impossible to know without a DNA test as you had sex with both very close together. Dating scans or any other scans won’t be of any help - they are accurate give or take a week or more so will not help with the paternity situation.

And an STI year sounds like a brilliant idea - STIs can be very harmful eg give you a miscarriage, premature birth, cause blindness in the baby etc so better get checked out and treated appropriately if needed.

A scan won't help - the margin of error on scans is + or - 7 days. A DNA test for paternity will be necessary.

Nobody can give you a definite answer and especially with your history of irregular periods. Even with regular periods it couldn't be 100% certain if you had sex twice within five days. Only way I'm afraid is a DNA test. I don't think you can work this out from a scan.

Could be the ex could be the 'sum1 else'- only a DNA test will suffice.

@2009lisa ignore the negativity, just don’t respond. We all get caught up in a moment. If I was in your situation I would try and get an early scan so you can match up the days. Good luck x

^QueenAvaris and VivienneMary* is correct. A scan won't give you a reliable answer.

To establish paternity when the interval between putative fathers is as close as 5 days, it has to be DNA test.

Remember, you might be 5 weeks pregnancy but the first two weeks of that you weren't pregnant as they count the weeks from your last period.