Too old at 40 to have one more?

[MrsHelenBee]

DH and have talked a lot about having one more recently. We have 2 DS's of 6 and 3 already.
I had always wanted three. I don't know if it's because I'm one of three or not. DS2 was a twin and we lost his sibling so I often look at him and wonder who else would have joined our family the day he was born, and what they would have looked like.
A third can't replace his twin, and I'm no stranger to miscarriage either. Two is enough but I just feel so strongly that I'd like one more to complete our family.
The down-side is that DH and I met quite late on. He's in his forties and I turned 40 this year. Is it foolish to be thinking about one more at my age?
Just hoping to hear from mums my age about how the experience was at 40 or thereabouts, whether they have regrets, or found it harder.

Foolish!? Is it hell! Do it girl! X

Go for it!

I had ds at 43. He is a gorgeous 3 yo.

I hope 40 isnt too old for another, I really want one more and I turn 40 early next year!

Go for it gal

I'm 44 (45 next month) and 8 weeks pregnant. 40 is certainly not too late for another!

I tried for my 3rd dc when I was turning 40. I had a few miscarriages and decided to stop trying at 41. And here I am now, breastfeeding dc3 at, um, 45.... had him at 44. A surprise rhythm method baby. It's fabulous. Best labour and pregnancy . So glad to have him. Shit sleeper though....

Don't. I was young with mine and had one younger than you but not much.
It's been hellish. The lack of sleep, energy needed and pregnancy itself has nearly killed me. Honestly.
Enjoy what you have. I am sorry you lost a baby, but a new one will not tell you how it could have been, it is a totally separate child.
You are opening up to potentially lose health, plus the chances of disabilities in children is greater due to age. How would the family dynamics change with a disabled child?
I think having a baby at 40 is mad, really mad. Too old by far (my limit was 30). But am sure there are many women who have and it has worked great for them.

Just had Dc3 at 40. Had mixed feelings about if It was safe and if I was risking my health etc bit the midwives were very reassuring that it was fairly normal at my age and they took really good care of me. We now have our beautiful boy and I’m so glad we did it. However I’m also really glad to know we are now ‘done’ with pregnancy and birth.

Do it OP! I’m 38 and planning to try for a second when my DD is 2 and I’ll be almost 40.

Shocked that anyone would say their limit was 30! Having a newborn is tiring at any age!

You think this is a good time to be born?!
I also agree that the risk of a problem birth or a disability is too high. 2 is surely enough.

Not at all! Half of my family didn't even start having babies until they were 40!

Youve been pg with twins. If they were non id, you've got a very high chance of further twins, plus increased chance because of your age. Could you cope with 4?

Very normal in my part of London - women having babies at 42, 43+ !!

You're no spring chicken but far from too old either. I would definitely have a go in your shoes.

I was 43 when I had my youngest; bit of a surprise/not a surprise if that makes sense. More attention was given to me because of my age, but pregnancy was no worse or difficult than my previous ones. I was not the oldest mum there.

I breastfed; was as tiring and lovely as previous. I felt more tired; but have older children so factor them in too.

If you both are up for it, go for it.

I had DC3 at 41, I got pregnant the first month of trying and had a very straightforward pregnancy. I was under shared MW and consultant care because of my age.

He's 5 now and has absolutely completed our family, he's a force of nature and as charismatic as they come! He does have health issues (asthma, eczema and allergies) but there's a family history in DH's family so not age related.

As older parents we have much more money to throw at any problems than if we'd had kids in our impoverished 20s (we have no family support). I'm fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s so find the comments about being too tired for kids hilarious, only someone very young would think you were over the hill in your 40s .

I’m having my first next march 2 months before I turn 40! And I want one (or two!) more after him! Life is too short not to follow your heart.

DC3 arrived when I was 42! Go for it. It's exhausting. You have been warned. You will look every one of your 40-something years, but what the hell. I'll take the map of lines on my face along with the kiddo any day.

Count my mum died in her 40's. So way too late for me to think about pregnancy. I also know how I feel in my 30's and it is like I will never recoup my health or energy.
I have aged, visibly, since my last pregnancy. I look in the mirror each day and wonder what I've done.
I think older mothers have much more stability and perhaps patience than younger mothers. However physically they are at a massive disadvantage (to both mother and baby-hence the term geriatric mother) so as long as this can be managed go for it.

We considered it, I already had two children and late-DH and I got together when I was 39.
In the end I think the deciding factor was his age (14 years older than me) rather than my age.
Although we weren't overly careful so it could have happened.

Loads of people have babies at 40 and well beyond. If it’s what you both want, then go for it!

Yes yes yes got my delicious 1 year old sleeping on me. I’m 42

I had my older three children when I was young, I’m now 41 and expecting a little girl in 3 weeks time so a big gap of 21 years. I’ll let you know how it goes once she’s here 😀

Course you're not too old. But if you're fixated on having 3 and get twins again...