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Original poster

Give me your best bump touching stories!

27 replies

SundayLunchHappy · 07/11/2017 08:38

Now coming up to 21 weeks, awful girdle pain, backache, lovely spotty skin, generally feeling like a total sex bomb Hmm

I always knew I'd find this a bit awkward but now it's happened for the first time it must not happen again! I have a friend who has said on multiple occasions she can't wait to "have a feel when it kicks" (no!). However yesterday my gorgeous, most kind, loving great aunt started rubbing my tummy and I was sort of rooted to the spot. I couldn't bare to pull away from her but my god it was horrendous.

What do you do? If it had been literally anyone but her I think I would have recoiled sharply, but what do you say?

Help please for my ridiculously first world problem

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 07/11/2017 08:50

I think I was around 26 weeks and our old friend and his new girlfriend had come to visit our home town for a birthday celebration, they were drinking in the pub I worked in at the time and I came down from getting changed and she ran up gave me a huge hug and started rubbing my non existent bump!!! I’d only met the girl for 20 mins a few months before, very weird and uncomfortable

CluelessMummy · 07/11/2017 09:06

DH and I were on our babymoon, I was 7 months pregnant. We knew some friends at our destination and they took us to their favourite restaurant there. They were well known to the manager (somewhat of a local character) who came out and asked, "Table for four?" Then he clocked the bump and yelled, "No, wait - table for FIVE!" And he grabbed my bump and gave it a shake, like it was a jelly or something?!

I didn't believe people actually did the "rubbing the bump" thing until then!

debbs77 · 07/11/2017 09:08

I've seen t-shirts that say

"You can touch my bump if I can punch your face"

LaBelleSausage · 07/11/2017 09:12

I was browsing the fruit and veg in the supermarket at about 25 weeks when someone reached around me from behind to rub my bump.
I assumed it was DH who had been sent to grab something so turned around, only to find it was a total stranger of a woman around 50 or 60.

I must have glared at her or something as she sort of shrugged and said
‘I can never resist a pregnant tummy! When are you due?’

I can be a bit socially awkward so I panicked a bit and just said
‘I’m not pregnant’, then walked away.

Still can’t quite believe I did that, she looked horrified. But it really wasn’t appropriate behaviour from her and hopefully she’ll think twice next time!

MarmiteAndPB · 07/11/2017 09:46

This happened to me with my uncle and dad before I even had a bump! And since I've been showing, it's only been male relatives. No women yet - I presumed because they might be more aware of the fact that it's a really weird and intrusive thing to do!

MarmiteAndPB · 07/11/2017 09:48

Although I remember from a thread I started about it at the time (pre-bump) someone said that they rubbed the other person's stomach back. Grin

DeadDoorpost · 07/11/2017 10:35

I growl... or just glare at them until they stop which happens pretty quickly as my DM says: "ok that's freaking me out stop it". Yeah, I spent years perfecting the glare.
Other than that if someone goes to I move out the way. If I want someone to feel the movement I'll take their hand and put it on my stomach myself. Luckily my family are pretty good at not touching me but sometimes if I'm really not in the mood to do anything about it I'll let them. He doesn't kick for anyone except me anyway so they know there's no real point 😂😂 DH will sometimes feel movements but the baby knows if it's me touching him or not. He's very fussy already and I'm so proud of him for it Grin

BexleyRae · 07/11/2017 10:45

My MIL used to try to lift up my top to check for stretch marks cos apparently everyone gets them and she wouldn't believe me when I said I didn't have any. She also used to paw at my stomach before I was even showing. Ugh

pinkyredrose · 07/11/2017 10:49

How is it a 'first world problem'? I'm sure people in the third world get annoyed when people touch them without checking too.

Original poster
SundayLunchHappy · 07/11/2017 11:02

I like the idea of rubbing their tummy back, though that would be equally weird Grin

Interestingly non of my immediate family who I see all the time (dm and dsis) would do this and nor did I start caressing my dsis's bumps despite being with her for the main events.

I think this has now overtaken my annoyance at comments about my "round pregnant face" Angry

OP posts:
StylishDuck · 07/11/2017 11:15

I find this so weird. Not one single person has touched my bump with either pregnancies (apart from DH and DD this time round) without asking. Even then it’s only been my DM who has asked before when I’ve mentioned that baby is particularly wriggly at the time.

I don’t get why people think it’s ok to invade other people’s personal space like this. It’s like your body isn’t your own when you’re pregnant I suppose.

I must have a look that warns people to stay away Grin

I have had a couple of comments from random men about whether they need to get the towels and hot water ready Hmm I’m 32 weeks just now and not even measuring particularly big! One older man in the supermarket followed this comment up with asking DD if she was looking forward to being a big brother! (She has short hair and was wearing blue so obviously must be a boy right! Hmm)Angry He was treated to my most steely glare!

Mrstobe90 · 07/11/2017 13:23

My MIL is terrible for grabbing at my stomach and it winds me up but I keep telling myself that it’s only for a few months and then I don’t have to worry about it any more

allisbright · 07/11/2017 13:29

My MIL rubbed my tummy when I was about 8 weeks' pregnant so obviously had no bump. Ugh! I hated it and it still makes me feel uncomfortable thinking about it two years on.

InRainbows · 07/11/2017 15:13

No one has gone for my bump yet (I'm only 12 weeks) but I would be fine with it! It seems like a natural thing to do certainly with close family and friends. I gave my buddies tummy a little rub when she popped and she grabbed my hand to feel the kicks etc. It doesn't feel wierd to me?

didsomeonesaywine · 07/11/2017 15:24

I’m 32 weeks and recently went to a friends wedding. Strange man came up to me rubbed bump, I stepped back shocked and uncomfortable at it, he continued to hold bump with both hands. He said ‘don’t worry I’m a dad to two children so it’s ok for me to touch it’...no, no it’s not. My husband very nearly lost his cool with him not stopping! So awkward.
I don’t mind close friends/family touching to feel kicks etc but not strangers.

GummyGoddess · 07/11/2017 15:57

Everyone at work knew I didn't like being touched. Colleague came up and started rubbing me, was told by other colleagues that I don't like that before I could say anything, then went "Oh, but Gummy doesn't mine ME doing it do you?"

I didn't know what to say, and just stood there like a lemon.

Shutupanddance1 · 07/11/2017 15:59

At about 34 weeks, a dude came up and kissed my bump in a bar.. very weird and freaked me out! Only that about 6 of my friends were there did I actually believe it happened Shock

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 07/11/2017 16:03

Gummy that happened to me!!

I also had a single male friend who kept rubbing the tummy. I think he was trying to prove a point about how “ok” he was with being around pregnant women.

GummyGoddess · 07/11/2017 16:07

Some days I didn't even like dh doing it, let alone work colleague who I only see a few days a week! I just really do not like my stomach being touched.

Original poster
SundayLunchHappy · 07/11/2017 16:31

Well very glad it's not just me Grin

I think the thing is, people can't see any harm in it, they've no bad intentions... but can't quite get to grips with the fact that we're still ourselves and not a publically owned vessel.

If the recipient of the tummy rubbing is consenting and happy I guess that's different.

On the other hand I'm probably Mrs oversensetive on all counts.... if somone puts my hand on thier tum, I'm equally garhhhh!

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McTufty · 07/11/2017 16:35

I think it’s very rude and presumptuous to touch a person without their consent, I wouldn’t dream of doing it, but I agree no harm is meant. People are just excited I reckon. For my part I just feel so happy and fortunate to be pregnant that I’m not going to moan about someone touching my bump!

katmarie · 07/11/2017 17:12

I'm 29 weeks, my SIL really wants to feel the baby kicking and has rubbed my tummy a couple of times, once when I invited her to, and from then on she seems to think it's ok whenever. Baby doesn't seem to want to kick for her though, so she's continually disappointed.

I don't think people realise just how intrusive it is. I feel very protective of my baby, which I'm sure is understandable, not to mention the personal space thing too. I had an aquaintance rub my bump in the supermarket when I ran into her and I think I was just stunned into silence.

tiramisualwaystiramisu · 07/11/2017 17:39

My weirdest one was actually a reverse. When I saw my pregnant friend on my wedding day, she grabbed my hand and stuck it on her bump because the baby was moving! I was completely freaked out and tried not to jump away too obviously.

When I was pregnant with my first, I did get pinned in the corner by a friend's mum who wanted to have a feel. She was so excited I didn't have the heart to say anything

teabagfreak · 07/11/2017 18:02

No one has tried to touch my bump yet, depends on who it is whether I would feel comfortable with it lol.

MerlinsLeftButtock · 07/11/2017 18:37

When I was pregnant with my first, I was shopping in my local shop. A small version of one of the big supermarkets. There was a woman who worked there, seemed to think we were friends? (Not sure why, possibly friendly with partners sister?!) asked why I didn’t tell her I was pregnant before this incident. Probably because I don’t really know her? Anyway, I’m stood in the queue. She comes up and stays chatting away at me, rubbing my bump the entire time. I was frozen on the spot. I had no idea what to do. I was horrified. I know I should have loved away, but I was so shocked. My mum has had a rub, as had my friends. But it would have been a few seconds. Not a couple of awkward minutes of terror. I often say to pregnant friends via text that I’ll ‘look forward to an inappropriate rub’ because it is a bit weird, isn’t it? Rubbing a woman’s stomach. But if you are close, why not? 😂

I have never encountered anything like the woman in that shop. I avoided her like the plague after that. So weird.