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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What happens if you live miles away from the hospital?

70 replies

BlueButTrue · 18/10/2017 18:57

I’m being induced soon and DS will be prem. I’m aware he will most likely been in NICU/SCU for a good while.

If I’m discharged myself, how do I keep coming back? It’s going to cost a fortune in travel and we physically can’t do it, DH has been hit hard financially recently due to his work situation.

What do we do? How do we afford to go and see him/go there and back every day?

I’m so worried

It’s not like we can walk there.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KalaLaka · 18/10/2017 18:59

Have you googled to find any charities that might help?

TippetyTapWriter · 18/10/2017 19:12

Sometimes there are charity run places nearby you can stay in. I got discharged and had to leave ds in scbu for a few days and didn't really qualify for their help but a midwife mentioned it to me. No idea of the details, sorry. It's a hard situation to be in! Do you have friends or colleagues who drive that way who you can catch lifts from? Or is public transport available that would be cheaper than a taxi? Even our short stay in scbu cost us about £100 in taxi fares. I'd had a c section and wasn't up to a long journey on public transport. I'm sorry, you have my sympathies. Hope you can work something out.

Think there's a charity for premature babies. Bliss maybe? They might have info as it must be something other people have faced too?

AnUtterIdiot · 18/10/2017 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Plasticgold · 18/10/2017 19:14

I think if you're breastfeeding or expressing then you can stay in at our NICU.

It's worth asking, they do have beds available but as you're not a patient you'll probably have to feed yourself.

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 18/10/2017 19:46

Hi all, thanks for the replies.

There is a small charity locally but they only help those claiming certain benefits.

We don’t get anything in that sense so not entitled, I spoke with the woman who runs it and she was sympathetic though... Although admittedly couldn’t help.

I will have a chat with Bliss I think, although I’m not finding anything to indicate help in that sense of their website.

It’s all very scary... it’s the last thing I wanted to think about. It’ll most likely be a section birth and there is a public transport route BUT you must walk 10 minutes to the first stop, board that bus (30 minute journey), and then from the town centre take the bus that is 45 minutes long and stops 10 minutes outside the maternity unit, which includes a hill.

I may sound precious but I’m afraid of doing this after a Section

OP posts:

bettydraper31 · 18/10/2017 19:59

I don't think you sound precious at all, it's a genuine concern and you'll be desperate to see your baby!

My first baby was prem and we were a five minute drive from the hospital, now we have moved (military) we are about 40 mins away. I'm dreading this one being prem as well and having to make that journey and that's no where near as bad as your journey. Hope you can get some help xx

fairgame84 · 18/10/2017 20:00

Our local 18 cot NICU has 6 rooms for parents to stay. They are normally allocated to parents of unstable babies, babies getting ready for discharged so parents are doing most of the care and parents who don't live locally.
Give your local unit a call and see what their arrangements are. You won't be the first parent in this situation and they are usually really helpful and sympathetic.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 18/10/2017 20:09

Have you asked in the Hospital if they accommodate parents of neonates while in hospital after the birth. Air b&b might be an option.

Lilypad78 · 18/10/2017 20:20

Have you spoken to your hospital about your concerns & how long they think you will be in for afterwards? Some hospitals will have accommodation for parents to use whilst their baby is in neonatal. If not they may be able to advise you on any other available options as this may be something which comes up quite regularly. DD1 was very prem & our local hospital had several family rooms for parents to stay. They were prioritised for families who lived the furthest away & we were very close so didn't qualify but as DD1 was there for nearly 4 months & I was trying to breastfeed they managed to free one up for me to use in the last 3 weeks of her stay. I hope you manage to sort something out xxx

hendricksyousay · 18/10/2017 21:41

Having a prem baby is very expensive . I was on bed rest for 4 weeks and days was in scbu for 4 weeks . We estimated it cost us about £1000 in petrol , parking , food , babysitting etc . I’m not sure if there is help for low incomes . We managed and it was fine but I only saw ds for an hour every day because it was so far away and the doctors do rounds in the morning so you aren’t allowed in for up to 2 hours at a time . Then we had to be back for my dd and my dh work . I conduit drive because I had an emcs .

hendricksyousay · 18/10/2017 21:42

You may be able to stay there but there weren’t any facilities for staying in the hospital I was in . Well there were rooms but you weren’t allowed to stay . Maybe speak to them about your concerns ? It didn’t occur to me about any of it to be Honest so we went with it .

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 18/10/2017 22:31

Have spoken to the hospital and they’ve been no help at all. And apparently they don’t have a single charity working alongside that could help either.

I contacted Bliss and they confirmed there isn’t any set ups in my area. My hospital don’t accommodate the parents, which is understandable, but I just don’t know what to do.

I’ve tried posting on a FB Mums group and keep saying I’m making excuses, apparently if I was a real mother like I should be, I would walk any hill after a section or otherwise, even in bare feet, to get to my DS

I’m going in tomorrow and I literally want to scream.

We are entitled to 0, and DH has a good wage but unforeseen circumstances have given us an incredibly hard few months so for now it’s extremely hard. It’s his travel that is the biggest killer, along with £950 rent.

We have no family/friends to help. It’s just shit. I have a good mind to refuse having DS out, it’s all just too much and I can see no way around this apart from me not being there every day for my tiny baby

OP posts:

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 18/10/2017 22:42

Just to clarify, are you saying that you're considering refusing delivery based on the cost of transportation etc?
How premature is your baby likely to be, and why does he/she need to be delivered early? Exact details not required obviously, but just trying to gauge the level of risk etc

welshweasel · 18/10/2017 22:48

Please try not to worry about this now. Get your baby here safe and sound and see how things pan out. You may end up not being discharged as quickly as you think. Often people are more accommodating once you're actually in need rather than it being a hypothetical situation. Something will get sorted, don't panic.

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 18/10/2017 22:52

Another I cant feel him properly/at all really, so they are fed up of these constant reduce movement episodes and are getting him out early to be on the safe side.

I’m 35+6 tomorrow

weasle I know I shouldn’t but it’s so hard not to be worry (and I think within good reason too)

OP posts:

welshweasel · 18/10/2017 22:55

My son was born at 35+0 due to poor growth and placental abruption - he was absolutely fine and we were discharged home together on day 3. Don't panic, there's every chance he won't even need to go to scbu.

hendricksyousay · 18/10/2017 22:56

He may not even need to go to scbu . My son was born at33 weeks and I watched loads of 35 weekers come and go while we were there a month . My dd was born at 38 weeks and she didn’t even go to scbu .

Wolfiefan · 18/10/2017 22:56

Is there anyone you could stay with?
Do they have a Ronald McDonald suite? (McD's pay for rooms!)
Are there staff rooms you could use? On call rooms?
If you're nearly 36 weeks it might not be too long. You must be so worried though and desperate to stay with your child.

CatastropheKate · 18/10/2017 23:02

Are you planning to breastfeed? Our hospital accommodates breastfeeding mothers, and has a shower room and parents room with small kitchen.

RosyPony · 18/10/2017 23:07

35+6 is late preterm, (you are term at 37 weeks)so you may even find that by the time you are discharged after your section that he is ready to go home. They will always say go by your due date as a guide to when you go home but my 33 weeker was home about a month before his due date.

LumpySpaceCow · 18/10/2017 23:16

At 35+6, you're baby may not even need NICU - especially if a good weight (>2kg) - unless there are some other medical conditions that may need specialist care? Does your hospital have a transitional care unit? If a baby does need some special care then some hospitals do have these for 'older' premature babies who need extra care (heated mattress, the odd tube feed) but where the bulk of the care is done by mum who stays with the baby.
It must be scary but I would try to take everything as it comes. You are worrying about a situation that may not happen and even if it does, a stay will likely be short and you can deal with the logistics when you are faced with them.
There is a charity called the family fund that HCPs can apply to and get a quick response (if the NICU don't know about it then mention it as they are missing a trick - they have to register specific people to apply on behalf of parents). They may offer some help.

LumpySpaceCow · 18/10/2017 23:20

General admission to NICU is babies

GlitteryFluff · 18/10/2017 23:21

I agree with others, baby might be fine at that gestation. Or may only be a very short stay. Rather than weeks /months.

mindutopia · 19/10/2017 10:21

I suspect it's possible like others have said that you'll be fine and he'll come home when you come home. You'll barely be prem. Mine was born at just 37 weeks, so we barely made term. We were under SCBU care, but not on the SCBU ward. She had jaundice and some feeding difficulties, so we were in hospital for 5 days (I had a perfectly normal natural birth so no reason for me to stay for recovery). But we roomed in, had our own private room, and they wouldn't discharge me until they discharged her. So we stayed together the whole time. My husband even slept over for 3 of those nights as there was a second bed in the room. I would just push to not be discharged until you can go together if possible. It's unlikely to be very long.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 19/10/2017 10:37

Glad to hear that you're as far on as you are! As others have said, at this late stage nicu/scbu might not even be necessary, or if it is, baby might be ready for home around the same time as you.
With reduced movement, it is quite possible that baby is safer out.
Try not to worry too much about after the birth, there's so many factors that will be out of your control and you might be worrying unnecessarily.
Bet of luck with all xx

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