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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What happens if you live miles away from the hospital?

70 replies

BlueButTrue · 18/10/2017 18:57

I’m being induced soon and DS will be prem. I’m aware he will most likely been in NICU/SCU for a good while.

If I’m discharged myself, how do I keep coming back? It’s going to cost a fortune in travel and we physically can’t do it, DH has been hit hard financially recently due to his work situation.

What do we do? How do we afford to go and see him/go there and back every day?

I’m so worried

It’s not like we can walk there.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Blueroses99 · 19/10/2017 11:27

I'm sorry that you're going through this, having been there myself with DDs 3 month stay in NICU, I can fully understand your worries. The hospital would be best place for advice but it's a real shame that there is no charity or assistance with accommodation. Is there a family liaison person or discounted parking available? I chose to drive up every day as I knew we were in for the long haul, only possible due to reduced parking charges. If that wasn't possible I would have looked at AirBnB, spare room or similar. Prefer apartment to hotel for availability of kitchen. You need to try to eat well and rested to keep up your milk supply, I felt like it was the only thing I could do for DD, felt helpless otherwise. You obviously have reason to think it'll be a longer stay other PPs, and if that's the case, put yourself first. I expect that those FB mummies have been lucky enough to have straightforward births and brought their babies home so seem to lack empathy.

Waitingonasmile · 19/10/2017 11:34

At that gestation (provided there are no other complications you haven't mentioned) a baby is very likely to be absolutely fine. Have you had steroid injections? My 35 weeker was 4 pound 6 and needed no extra help at all. We left hospital at the same time.

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 19/10/2017 11:37

Hi all, thanks for the replies again

Have spoken to the hospital again after all these suggestions and nothing, they’re being very ‘we’re sorry but we don’t know’.

Even PALS aren’t getting back to me.

Unfortunately, it’s very likely he will have an extended stay due to added complications.

I just have no idea about this all and I’m pulling my hair out trying to think of something.

The first woman on the FB group to suggest walking over broken glass if she could get to her sick baby, did in fact have to walk an hour each day to see her child apparently, all whilst having 5 other children

I was surprisingly shot down - C Section isn’t good enough. Apparently I should even risk infection and upsetting my stitches by walking up hills etc etc.

Who ever thought MN would be more sympathetic More realistic, thank goodnes

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 19/10/2017 11:38

Waiting None at all - I asked my consultant about them and he said ‘it wasn’t really necessary’

OP posts:

Drinaballerina · 19/10/2017 11:42

Could you get an airbnb near the hospital? Not ideal while you're recovering but may be better than travelling?

Waitingonasmile · 19/10/2017 11:47

That's a shame there's complications. Have the doctors suggested how long baby will be in for?

Could you maybe increase overdraft or get a small bank loan? Not ideal but would mean you could get taxis to get to public transport rather than walk. Air b n b previous poster suggested also good idea.

Sidge · 19/10/2017 11:58

Ignore the FB muppets, they're talking shite.

Try not to panic - easier said than done I know. I imagine you'll be kept in for a good few days, especially if your baby is on NICU/SCBU. I had DD2 at 34+5 and even though I was fit for discharge at day 2 or 3 I stayed a week to be closer to her, and I had a single room.

How long is he likely to be in for? The doctors should be able to give you a vague idea e.g. 2 weeks or 2 months. Could you set up an account with a taxi firm and settle the balance after he's out, giving you a chance to save a little? They may even do you a special rate in the circumstances.

Take food and drink in each day rather than buying it at the hospital, it's extortionate.

Good luck!

Original poster

BlueButTrue · 19/10/2017 12:07

Those suggesting aid b&b, perhaps I’m being a bit dim, but isn’t that going to cost too? I can imagine it will cost more/the same as the taxi

Consultant keeps telling me ‘how long he’s actually in depends but be prepared’ not even a rough idea.

May have to try and take out a loan but I don’t think it’s possible... We are still paying off a £5K loan taken out a few months back.

OP posts:

Waitingonasmile · 19/10/2017 12:44

Sorry, yes air b n b will cost but I don't think there's any way to completely avoid costs.

Are the additional complications the reason baby has to come early? The not knowing roughly how long he will be in must be very stressful.

LumpySpaceCow · 19/10/2017 13:19

Are you actually speaking to a Neonatal consultation or is this the obstetrician stating he doesn't know about length of stay?
What are the added complications? If the baby is going to be vulnerable then why are they not offering steroids?
Asking about length of stay is like asking how long a piece of string is - but generally we do have some idea depending on gestation, weight, medical condition.

SofiaAmes · 19/10/2017 13:24

What part of the country are you in. Maybe there is a mumsnetter nearby who travels that way for work and could give you a ride.

welshweasel · 19/10/2017 13:59

I'm sorry but there's no way you wouldn't be getting steroids at 35 weeks gestation. No way.

hendricksyousay · 19/10/2017 14:07

Those fb women are nuts , I only saw my ds for an hour a day while he was there for 4 weeks due the the reasons I gave on a previous post. We have the most amazing and strong bond . I personally felt my dd needed me more as I’d been away from her for 4 weeks and my son was being cared for completely by the nurses . I know you will want to see your baby but even if you can’t he will be looked after .

KalaLaka · 19/10/2017 14:08

Can you sell anything? Rings?

KalaLaka · 19/10/2017 14:12

Ok how about asking for a wheelchair? Your partner should get 2 weeks paternity leave. He can help you onto the bus and to the hospital. I know someone who had a wheelchair post csection so she could get out and about without risking over doing it advice she had previously.

If no paternity leave, unpaid leave or holiday.

KalaLaka · 19/10/2017 14:12

Sorry... *advice as she had previously

hendricksyousay · 19/10/2017 14:18

FWIW I actually took a bus, a train and walked a lot to get to the hospital one day when my dh couldn’t take me . I had had a c section and it set back my recovery by weeks which didn’t help anyone in the long run..

Frazzled2207 · 19/10/2017 14:26

I think you need to speak to an actual consultant eg neonatologist about your concerns.
It is obviously a massive worry- that commute by bus wouldn’t be ridiculous if you weren’t having a c section but you obviously are.

Best case scenario is that the two of you stay in together for a few days then get discharged together. Surely possible.

Best of luck to you.

dramallamakarma · 19/10/2017 15:12

A lady I vaguely know set up a just giving page for this reason & shared it on her fb page along with updates. It was after the birth of her DC though not before 'just in case'

Not sure i agree with it but it sounds like you don't have many other options.

hendricksyousay · 19/10/2017 15:17

Off topic slightly but am I the only one that finds some of those just giving things begging?

BrawneLamia · 19/10/2017 15:38

I would find a local air b and b or hotel. Yes it will cost you money, but so would a taxi, and it means you won't be travelling backwards and forwards (travelling as a passenger won't be that comfortable after a c section), and you can pop back there for a nap or a shower at any time. Plus your dh can stay too.

welshweasel · 19/10/2017 16:12

I thought you said you were being induced, so not necessarily having a c section. Baby may or may not need to stay in once you've gone home. I'd definitely question the steroids as I can't think of one reason why they wouldn't give them at 36 weeks.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 19/10/2017 16:39

Can your midwife refer you to a social worker? I work in a NICU but not in the UK so not familiar with the set up regarding benefits etc. All our parents can avail of hugely discounted car parking and of those who don't/can't drive, many can avail of travel passes for public transport, and passes for the subsidised staff canteen. It's not much, but helps the money go a bit further. Anything like that available?
Or even local charities not related to the hospital? Church groups etc might have a hardship fund.

Tempranillo · 19/10/2017 17:06

Welsh Actually the RCOG guidance is only to 'consider' steroids at 35+6, and not to give them after that gestation.

welshweasel · 19/10/2017 17:18

Certainly where I work, someone having a delivery at

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