First Time Pregnancy (5)

[mrsjkerry]

Hey everyone. Had to make a new thread as we were nearing 1000!

It's quite reassuring to hear you didn't want another needle even after going through labour! But then... you did have a lot of needles throughout 🤢 makes me feel weak thinking about it. I nearly vom when I see them on OBEM having the spine injection for epidural bleughhh 🙈
Oh well just going to focus on nesting for now 😂 9 weeks isn't long... but it's too long to be worried every day lol x

@misty I was the same as the others, asked for an epidural at 2cm and was refused then when they examined me 3 hours later I was 8cm and by the time she put the drip in my hand I was pushing, no time to even call the aneasthatist. The gas and air is so much more effective than I expected, I was offered pethidine at 2cm and refused and I'm glad I did considering thing moved so quickly. There was a part where I was literally mooing through contractions but once I got to pushing most of the pain disappeared. The contractions are definitely the most painful bit which I wasn't prepared for.

Best advice I can give is prepare mentally to be in the moment and make the best choices you can there and then. You can't anticipate how you'll be so you can't make a plan. I'd "planned" to just be gas and air but at the time I wanted the epidural. Looking back I'm proud of myself for managing without it but given the option again I think I would go for it if there was time. Do what is best for you in the moment.

Thanks @Bobbiepin I think from speaking to others and watching tv, my worst case scenario is being in agony for hours and hours, exhausted, throwing up, having diarrhoea, feeling absolutely wretched then to find out "oh you're only 2cm" I think that would be so demoralising 🙈 I'm sure I'd give up 😂 the bit that makes me panic is when they're saying to the woman "your baby isn't happy in there, it NEEDS to come out now!" And the mother's are like "I can't" and I'm like omg... how bad is it that even when the midwives are telling you your baby is essentially in danger unless it comes out quickly, and they STILL say they feel like they can't! You'd think you'd be like omg right let's go for it! So that scares me too! I defo need to start getting into a positive mindset about it all I think!xx

I agree with Bobbiepin the contractions are the most painful part, the pushing is productive and you know you're nearly at the end which makes it much more bearable. The crowning does sting, but my midwife said to me 'the head is crowning now so you'll feel like you're going to explode, but you won't and soon it'll all be over and you'll meet your baby' which seemed to help!

And you never know you may have a quick labour too

I agree too the pushing stage is such a relief! It is all pressure in your bum like you need a really big poo! I kept saying to me other half if I just have this poo it will all go away 😂🙈

@misty that was me, took me 15 hours to get to 2cm, DD's heart rate was all over the place and she had meconium. I was asking if I needed a c section purely because I knew they would give me the epidural if I did! Your mind does funny things, I do remember telling DH I couldn't do it but your body doesn't give you the option not to. I was pushing before I was fully dilated and the midwife told me to stop, I genuinely didn't know how to. Trust your body, it knows what to do.

Bobbies right your body will just start pushing, and listen to the midwife when she tells you to breathe. You'll do great @MistyBxx

@mrsjkerry how you doing now your DP is back at work? X

Hey @ew1990 we are good. Trying to get into our own little routine...!

Thanks girlies. I appreciate all your advice and experiences!! I've got some time to think about it! Next thing I'm thinking about though is my hospital bag... anything you needed more of? Less of? Or wish you'd had?x

So glad you're settling well @mrsjkerry 😍

Good to hear from you @mrsjkerry glad you're ok.

@mistyb in the end the only thing I used in labour was a pair of shorts to move from one room to another and a bottle of squash (gas & air dries your mouth out). I got one of those little concentrated bottles, that was nice to put in water on the ward after.

Afterwards, have comfy pjs, tons of maternity pads (when you think you have enough, buy more, you will be changing them every hour to start with) lanolin cream if you intend to bf, Don't wait until you are sore to start using it, the one in the purple tube is best.

Of all the baby stuff we took in we used one hat, a tonne of nappies (forgot nappy bags though) and vests&grows. They needs surprisingly little. We took in some pre made formula bottles too, only used 30ml of one but that was a lifesaver.

@MistyBxx lip balm! I was just shoving my lips in a tin of Vaseline.

Glad to hear your doing well @mrsjkerry

@MistyBxx I actually bought like adult nappy things. They were great in the immediate days after birth.

Thanks girlies. I'm addicted to sugar-free vimto (the squash version, not the fizzy) so I will be taking that in to make with water! And I'd thought of lip balm at lips get dry regularly anyway. I was googling those Tena lady pants the other day, are they suitable? I think I'd rather just have disposable pants than faff around with pads too much. Like what actually comes out though? Blood? Or are you just peeing yourself? Will I need "heavy" flow things?xx

Google 'lochia' it's post birth bleeding, You'll bleed for about 6 weeks after although it will stop being so heavy after a week or so. You definitely need either maternity pads or incontinence knickers, ordinary sanpro won't be enough. I also bought a few multiple packs of black primark knickers a couple of sizes bigger than i usually wear, you need them to be big or you won't be able to pull them up with the pads in.

Yes @MistyBxx that's what I had

Be thinking of you tomorrow @Flatwhite32 💗 no matter what... you'll get through if I promise! Hoping and praying for the best outcome for you though xx

Hope everyone else is ok and all the new mamas and babes are settling in well.xx

@MistyBxx thank you. Miraculously, the scan showed an 8 week embryo with a heartbeat! I was throwing up just before the scan in the ward toilet, but even that wasn't reassuring me, as I was sick last time. I'm so relieved...for now anyway!

Oh @Flatwhite32 that's amazing news 😍😍😍 I'm so happy for you.
Now listen to me PLEASE coming from someone who has been through this too... start allowing yourself the belief that you're having a baby!! You've BEEN through the worst, you've been the statistic, now it's your turn 😊
I don't mean to sound cheesy, but you have to think positive! I know how hard it is and it took me a long time, even now the demons creep in here and there, but you have to learn to keep them at bay or you will never enjoy this amazing experience 💗
For now at least, while you're still on a high from the scan, try not to say things like "miraculously" everything is fine, it is miraculous in general being pregnant but you have to believe everything is fine and will stay fine this time. Try and flip your mindset to accept that you ARE pregnant and it's amazing and you're doing everything you can to stay healthy and happy but your thoughts and feelings are very powerful, release the endorphins, feel good feelings and let yourself be happy and excited for your future, you DESERVE this happiness!
I don't want to sound patronising coz I know your loss was different to mine, it was later etc, and I know nobody is the same but I'm just hoping and praying that you carry on leaps and bounds now and have a smooth and happy pregnancy!! Every day is another milestone, the weeks will soon be moving along!! This is your time chicky and I send you all my best and positive wishes!!😍xxx

Amazing news @flatwhite so pleased for you. I dunno if it's a sign or whatever but for some reason my phone just autocorrect your username to 'parents'

Thank you so much @MistyBxx! I'm back to worrying again today as I haven't been sick today! I need to control my anxiety. Positive thinking like you say! Thank you for your lovely words. You've been so supportive since we started on this journey together. Xx

@Bobbiepin loving that autocorrect! Thank you! X

Ah bless you, that's the thing, is recognising when you start feeling panicky about it and taking a deep breath and being like right... hang on now, I don't have to be throwing up all day every day. It's learning to reign in the panic that rises up, and think logically about it. I'm so similar, my girl is moving now, and when she moves and kicks hard I'm like "ow that hurts, why is she moving so vigorously, is everything ok?" Then when she's quiet, I'm like "why isn't she moving? What's wrong?!" It's so hard! 😂🙈 just take every day at a time chicky. I'm so glad I've been some support for you! That's what it's all about. Always here xx

@flatwhite you'll find anxiety anywhere you look for it so do your best to look for the positives. A day without sickness is an extra opportunity to fill up on some goodness to help support your body in making that bubba.

@MistyBxx @Flatwhite31 how you both doing?