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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

touching my stomach!

40 replies

MarmiteAndPB · 22/08/2017 14:06

I was at a party on Saturday and a couple of relatives who I hadn't yet seen since the pregnancy announcement greeted me with a hand pressed flat against my stomach.

I felt a little bit weird about it at the time but didn't think too much on it, but since then I just keep getting more and more worked up in my head about it! It's a weird thing to do, right? I've never felt the need (or desire!) to touch pregnant people's stomachs.

I'm not even showing yet, so it's not like there's a huge bump and a chance to feel some kicks. I know that this is likely to keep happening and I should prepare myself, but it's just so strange. And a bit creepy?

OP posts:

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Jivebunny89 · 23/08/2017 18:36

Thanks for the advice, my grandmother is visiting on Sunday and I am convinced she'll try to touch my bump. Been dreading it.

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noeffingidea · 23/08/2017 18:39

For me it's about feeling the baby kick. Is that really so terrible?
Well it would be very unwelcome and intrusive to me. There again, I never felt the need to tell people when I felt a kick.

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Iwantamarshmallow · 23/08/2017 20:40

You need something like this

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Caenea · 23/08/2017 20:57

A bloke at work touched my bump when I was nearly eight months gone. In the middle of a staff meeting. When I was only there to ask people to make sure they returned files to me so I didn't have to keep getting up to get them.

I took a really dramatic step backwards and asked very loudly if I'd ever given my consent to be touched. He went purple and backed away very rapidly. Nobody touched it after that unless I specifically said they could.

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Newmumtobabyno1 · 23/08/2017 21:27

My MIL kept doing it even once she'd been told I didn't like it! Apart from her unwanted groping only DH touched my stomach the entire pregnancy. She always used to accompany it with 'oh look how big you've got, I bet you can't fit in your clothes now'. Might have been the hormones but I took massive offence. Just plain rude touching peoples bumps if you ask me... definitely getting one of those tops that says 'HANDS OFF THE BUMP' for the next one!

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stellacat123 · 24/08/2017 05:47

I developed a habit of holding a shoulder bag over the side/front of bump with one hand, and put other hand/arm on bump to create a sort of barrier as a deterrent when shopping. This helped prevent uninvited groping!

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JWrecks · 24/08/2017 07:28

I love it, @marshmallow, but for some reason I feel like people might somehow take that as an open invitation! I don't know why, but I can just see it! I'd be very curious to know if anybody has worn that top and noticed more touching of the bump?

@ForumUsername - pulling up your top?! Oh that takes it all. Touching over clothes is one line crossed, but pulling up your top and exposing your bare tummy? Now that's intrusive! Tell me you swat her hand away? And that 'hmmm' bit is just... creepy!! You poor thing!!

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Iwantamarshmallow · 24/08/2017 09:01

@JWrecks
I had one. The fist time I wore it a stranger did approach me and ask if people really touched my bump but no one actually touched me when I had it on or once they had seen me wearing it. I have a tattoo on my arm and strangers often grab my arm to read the tattoo. I don't understand why people think it's ok to touch. It's like when strangers kiss or touch your newborn in the street......why

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Redpony1 · 24/08/2017 09:20

Bumps freak me out, so i'd never want to touch anyone elses!

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Minxmumma · 24/08/2017 15:04

My MIL rubbed mine like Aladdins blooming lamp - drove me totally loopy. Apart from DH and our other kids no one but a medical professional should be touching my bump

I bought her some brasso and a something to polish and told her it was a baby not a door knob. She stopped after that

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SheSaidHeSaid · 24/08/2017 20:55

That's the t shirt I'm going to buy mogul , guarantee my MIL won't adhere to it but it's worth a shot.

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SheSaidHeSaid · 24/08/2017 20:55

Not mogul , i meant I want.

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BexleyRae · 24/08/2017 21:17

My MIL was obsessed with me getting stretch marks because "everybody gets them " and she used to try lifting my top to check for them, even when I kept telling her I hadn't got any.

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Jivebunny89 · 28/08/2017 11:21

Just want to thank OP for creating this thread. Yesterday my very touchy-feely grandmother visited and asked me if she could touch my bump. I said a very firm "NO" twice and that did it. Don't care, my stomach is mine and my baby's. I might not have had the courage to stop her without this thread. Feel much better now that ordeal is over with.

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SunyBay · 29/08/2017 12:18

It's not hormones causing you to take offence, it's just plain rude. Nobody goes up to non-pregnant women and touches them unless they want a slap or be done for assault. If anyone tries that with me, they will get a slap. Unfortunately, I don't have a MIL (she passed away eight years ago) and I can't even imagine my mum doing this as she's exactly like me. In fact, I can't imagine anyone I know well doing this to me, since they'd know what my reaction would be.

Don't stand for it, ladies.