touching my stomach!

[MarmiteAndPB]

I was at a party on Saturday and a couple of relatives who I hadn't yet seen since the pregnancy announcement greeted me with a hand pressed flat against my stomach.

I felt a little bit weird about it at the time but didn't think too much on it, but since then I just keep getting more and more worked up in my head about it! It's a weird thing to do, right? I've never felt the need (or desire!) to touch pregnant people's stomachs.

I'm not even showing yet, so it's not like there's a huge bump and a chance to feel some kicks. I know that this is likely to keep happening and I should prepare myself, but it's just so strange. And a bit creepy?

[SunyBay]

It's not hormones causing you to take offence, it's just plain rude. Nobody goes up to non-pregnant women and touches them unless they want a slap or be done for assault. If anyone tries that with me, they will get a slap. Unfortunately, I don't have a MIL (she passed away eight years ago) and I can't even imagine my mum doing this as she's exactly like me. In fact, I can't imagine anyone I know well doing this to me, since they'd know what my reaction would be.

Don't stand for it, ladies.

[Jivebunny89]

Just want to thank OP for creating this thread. Yesterday my very touchy-feely grandmother visited and asked me if she could touch my bump. I said a very firm "NO" twice and that did it. Don't care, my stomach is mine and my baby's. I might not have had the courage to stop her without this thread. Feel much better now that ordeal is over with.

[BexleyRae]

My MIL was obsessed with me getting stretch marks because "everybody gets them " and she used to try lifting my top to check for them, even when I kept telling her I hadn't got any.

[SheSaidHeSaid]

Not mogul , i meant I want.

[SheSaidHeSaid]

That's the t shirt I'm going to buy mogul , guarantee my MIL won't adhere to it but it's worth a shot.

[Minxmumma]

My MIL rubbed mine like Aladdins blooming lamp - drove me totally loopy. Apart from DH and our other kids no one but a medical professional should be touching my bump

I bought her some brasso and a something to polish and told her it was a baby not a door knob. She stopped after that

[Redpony1]

Bumps freak me out, so i'd never want to touch anyone elses!

[Iwantamarshmallow]

@JWrecks
I had one. The fist time I wore it a stranger did approach me and ask if people really touched my bump but no one actually touched me when I had it on or once they had seen me wearing it. I have a tattoo on my arm and strangers often grab my arm to read the tattoo. I don't understand why people think it's ok to touch. It's like when strangers kiss or touch your newborn in the street......why

[JWrecks]

I love it, @marshmallow, but for some reason I feel like people might somehow take that as an open invitation! I don't know why, but I can just see it! I'd be very curious to know if anybody has worn that top and noticed more touching of the bump?

@ForumUsername - pulling up your top?! Oh that takes it all. Touching over clothes is one line crossed, but pulling up your top and exposing your bare tummy? Now that's intrusive! Tell me you swat her hand away? And that 'hmmm' bit is just... creepy!! You poor thing!!

[stellacat123]

I developed a habit of holding a shoulder bag over the side/front of bump with one hand, and put other hand/arm on bump to create a sort of barrier as a deterrent when shopping. This helped prevent uninvited groping!

[Newmumtobabyno1]

My MIL kept doing it even once she'd been told I didn't like it! Apart from her unwanted groping only DH touched my stomach the entire pregnancy. She always used to accompany it with 'oh look how big you've got, I bet you can't fit in your clothes now'. Might have been the hormones but I took massive offence. Just plain rude touching peoples bumps if you ask me... definitely getting one of those tops that says 'HANDS OFF THE BUMP' for the next one!

[Caenea]

A bloke at work touched my bump when I was nearly eight months gone. In the middle of a staff meeting. When I was only there to ask people to make sure they returned files to me so I didn't have to keep getting up to get them.

I took a really dramatic step backwards and asked very loudly if I'd ever given my consent to be touched. He went purple and backed away very rapidly. Nobody touched it after that unless I specifically said they could.

[Iwantamarshmallow]

You need something like this

[noeffingidea]

For me it's about feeling the baby kick. Is that really so terrible?
Well it would be very unwelcome and intrusive to me. There again, I never felt the need to tell people when I felt a kick.

[Jivebunny89]

Thanks for the advice, my grandmother is visiting on Sunday and I am convinced she'll try to touch my bump. Been dreading it.

[magratvonlipwig]

I hated it. Also hated people calling me mum......

[bumblingmum]

Yes its weird. Someone I vaguely know did it to me when I was facing the other way talking to someone else entirely. There was no warning and it I scared the living daylights out of me. Just weird and intrusive

[AhhhhThatsBass]

I was in a restaurant and a waitress did it to ym stomack. I'd have been about 7 months pregnant. I was a bit taken aback, but usually I find people do it because they are excited for you, nothing more sinister than that.

I've been out with pregnant friends a few time and if they remark that they felt a kick, I have occasionally asked if I can have a feel. I always caveat it by telling them I won't be remotely offended if they say no. And they never have. For me it's about feeling the baby kick. Is that really so terrible?

[Jenkicksass]

I feel your pain. My husband's ex-GF and mother of his son saw fit to rub all over my bump at about 24 weeks the first time she saw me with no warning and I felt completely violated. So much so that I batted her hand off and stepped backwards sharply with a look of horror on my face. She got the message. It's just absurd how people think it's ok to touch you without asking just because you're pregnant!!

[SheSaidHeSaid]

I know you don't like this but I can't help myself"

I thought my MIL took the micky but this wins.

[Bobbiepin]

MIL likes to hold my bump whilst shouting at it. Every time she does it she says "I know you don't like this but I can't help myself".

We've had to put a stop to her calling the baby "my baby". It is not your baby!!

[Mustang27]

Oh yeah I'm weird about my personal space though. I always thought it was a loving gesture though. They don't mean any harm just brush it off. Honestly once ppl start calling you HUGE on a regular basis the stomach patting will seem less of a grievance lol.

[eddiemairswife]

Nobody did it when I was pregnant. I think it's a part of the touchy, weepy, post-Diana world we now inhabit.

[SayNoToCarrots]

If it's a new thing why is that mostly people in their fifties and sixties do it? No one my age would dream of touching me without asking.

[noeffingidea]

This is quite a new thing, isn't it? Nobody ever did this to me when I was pregnant, and I've never done it to anyone else.
I probably would have told them to fuck off, tbh (well, maybe not my mum or MIL) . I'm a private person and don't like being touched a lot. As it happens I didn't really like making a big thing out of being pregnant anyway. I loved my second pregnancy when I didn't really show and most people didn't know.