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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Hubby says he leaving after birth

125 replies

flowa79 · 18/08/2017 03:31

Iv been married 19yrs and have 3 children 20, 19 and 16. Recently found out expecting again which was a total suprise as i've suffered cervical cancer and partial hysterectomy. Was nearly 12 weeks when i found out. Hubby unfortunately demanded i have an abortion which i cant justify. He indicated to me that he will leave if i continue with pregnancy and last week told our 19yr old that soon as baby born he is leaving. I plan to talk this out with him and to be honest would rather walk away from my marriage now than have this threat hanging over my head. What i really dont want though is to be an emotional wreck when having said conversation and would appreciate any and all advice/words of wisdom/coping techniques so i can be as calm as possible. Tall order i know. When he said that to me i put it down to shock on his part but now saying it to our other children is making me feel crappy

OP posts:
Orangebird69 · 18/08/2017 14:32

sorted

QueenNefertitty · 18/08/2017 14:35

I think if you're pregnancy after a partial hysterectomy, you need to worry about your potentially dangerous health predicament, not your shitty DP

HerOtherHalf · 18/08/2017 14:38

When he said that to me i put it down to shock on his part but now saying it to our other children is making me feel crappy

Stop feeling crappy and start feeling angry. His behaviour is vile and inexcusable. Fair enough he might not want you to have the baby but to demand you have an abortion and emotionally abuse use your children like that is unforgivable and not the actions of a loving husband or father.

Psychologika · 18/08/2017 14:39

Goodness OP, please see a medical doctor Flowers

FilledSoda · 18/08/2017 14:39

I'm sorry op but I don't understand .
You had a partial hysterectomy and have become pregnant ?
How is that possible ?
What medical attention have you had ?
I have so many questions but I don't want to offend, I'm really confused .

Orangebird69 · 18/08/2017 14:46

Filled, it's possible to become pregnant as ovulation can still happen, and that egg can still be fertilised resulting in an ectopic pregnancy. But there's no uterus for the egg to attach itself to, so it could attach to another organ or the abdominal wall. It's very dangerous and needs urgent medical attention. Basically, the dh will get his own way.

wheredoesallthetimego · 18/08/2017 14:52

Was it a trachelectomy you had done, they are done to preserve fertility in cancer of the cervix.

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/08/2017 14:52

I don't understand how you can get pg with no uterus.

ErnesttheBavarian · 18/08/2017 14:53

Op, have you seen a doctor yet? How pregnant are you?

Mountainviewloo · 18/08/2017 14:53

Please see a doctor immediately!

Orangebird69 · 18/08/2017 14:57

Fluffy, fertilisation happens in the fallopian tube. So you technically don't need a uterus to get pregnant but you do need the uterus to maintain the pregnancy.

BrutusMcDogface · 18/08/2017 14:58

I took it that the op still had a womb, but had become mixed up with the terms...? And the op involved some other part of her anatomy?

Either way, op, I hope you're ok physically. As for the git of a husband......kick him out Flowers

PollyFlint · 18/08/2017 14:59

I have to echo what others have said regarding your physical condition. I can't see any way you could safely carry on with a pregnancy after a partial hysterectomy; a partial hysterectomy still leaves you with no uterus. (And surely if you had cervical cancer they would have done a full hysterectomy and taken out the cervix as well?) You really need to see a doctor about this urgently. By all means kick out your DP for being horrendous but this whole situation is really confusing and worrying.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 18/08/2017 15:01

Oh dear, reading these responses, sounds like this pregnancy won't have a happy ending anyway OP, but after that, I'd be looking at your husband in a very different light tbh, one I wouldn't be able to look past! What a twat.

FilledSoda · 18/08/2017 15:06

Would an ectopic make it to 12 weeks ?

Gemini69 · 18/08/2017 15:06

Congratulations on your wonderful news ... particularly after such a traumatic illness and surgery.... Flowers

I agree with the others... he must go x

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 18/08/2017 15:06

Congratulations! FlowersTell him to leave now though. You don't need his shit in your life. Start afresh. How old are you OP?

Orangebird69 · 18/08/2017 15:09

It's possible Filled

Slimthistime · 18/08/2017 15:13

pregnant after partial hysterectomy?

Doctor. Now. worry about husband later!!! I'm worried for you!

IDoDaChaCha · 18/08/2017 15:13

flowa79 no man has the right to demand a woman terminates her pregnancy. You will be better off without him. I know you've been together a long time but his behaviour is outrageous. Please do see your GP asap re your medical status x

Jessybear90 · 18/08/2017 15:16

Sorry I missed the bit about your medical history, yes please go to the doctor and sort yourself out before worrying about DH! Go now, today!

Goingtobeawesome · 18/08/2017 15:17

If this turns out to be that the baby is lost I expect the prick will expect you to forget what he said and go back to how things were before. Will you allow him to treat you like that?

onalongsabbatical · 18/08/2017 15:19

OP, I add myself to the list of randoms out here concerned for your medical status. Please get checked out. Flowers

PinglePongle · 18/08/2017 15:23

Pretty sure she's already had medical advice seen as she's past 12 weeks, how else would she have known she was 12 weeks otherwise?

Jessybear90 · 18/08/2017 15:24

Agree with goingtobeawesome here, that's exactly what I expect he will do!