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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Why choose not to breastfeed?

527 replies

MissBax · 22/06/2017 11:49

I work in healthcare and have just been on a breastfeeding workshop as part of my training. I knew the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and baby anyway, but couldn't believe just how incredible it really was!
I was just wondering what people's reasons were for not breastfeeding? I'm not asking about health reasons or those who have suffered abuse etc. But just wondering why some women simply choose not to?
I'm not being a GF either before anyone offers me a biscuit 😉 just genuinely curious why someone would choose to bottle feed?

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glitterglitters · 22/06/2017 16:44

@Hoppinggreen no different from people who can't bare their feet being touched. Not weird at all x

Teaformeplease · 22/06/2017 16:46

It is a falacy to suggest that BF is only beneficial in third world countries. We have our own health inequalities in the developed world too.

Formula was developed to feed babies who couldn't get their mother's milk or milk from a wet nurse. It saved lives. Then big business saw potential and marketed it as a scientific way to feed babies. It was "better" than mother's milk. Women's ability to feed their own babies was undermined. A lot of money was invested in convincing women they were inferior if they breastfed. Breasts were sexualized and used to sell other things but mustn't be used to feed a baby.
As developed countries have continued on to the underhand tactics used by these companies they have brought in legislation to limit advertising and making false claims. The formula companies developed hungry baby milk and follow on milk as well. Tlhey have also moved into new markets in less developed countries where access to clean water and money to buy formula is in short supply. Babies in these countries die as a result.
The marketing strategies used mirror those in the tobacco industry. It is sickening.

How we feed our babies is not just personal it is political and feminist as well.

Look at the bigger picture not just how you feel.

Have a look at this to see formula vs tobacco advertising.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-yWi3VVM7glo/U3Y1AelqrrI/AAAAAAAAJEE/GAuJ2jwAmdg/s1600/smokingformulachart.jpg.jpg

wheresthel1ght · 22/06/2017 16:46

Because I didn't want to breastfeed

BertrandRussell · 22/06/2017 16:46

Out of interest, how many positive bf stories are there on this thread?

blue2014 · 22/06/2017 16:56

@BertrandRussell - but this isn't a "tell me how amazing breastfeeding is" thread? Why would it be full of positive stories?

AyeAmarok · 22/06/2017 16:56

Out of interest, how many positive bf stories are there on this thread?

I'm sure the vast majority of positive breastfeeding stories come after the first 6-8 weeks, when it (usually) starts to get easier/easy.

It's a doddle now, 6 months in. Way easier than bottles. But it is in the first weeks that most people quit, and this thread explains why. Because, usually, it's bloody hard at first. It wasn't for you, good for you.

TeddyIsaHe · 22/06/2017 16:57

I have a positive breastfeeding story! I LOVE breastfeeding, my dd is 5 months and I've ebf since the beginning and hope to carry on until she self-weans. Yes it was tough in the beginning, but I enjoy the night feeds and knowing I grew and feed her entirely with my body. I am proud of my achievement, and interestingly I always feel judged and like I should never tell my positive breastfeeding story because I don't want to seem smug or like I'm better than others. I'm not, but breast is best for me and my dd.

glitterglitters · 22/06/2017 16:59

Whenever I see a thread about positive breastfeeding stories, it gets railroaded and nasty Sad

CherriesInTheSnow · 22/06/2017 17:06

"cherries the entire process of birth is sugar coated in my opinion. And that does women a terrible disservice. They're told bf is easy, they're told that with good breathing they can push out a baby, then when almost half of first timers have issues they feel like failures. The gap between expectations and reality is too big. It doesn't let women make informed choices"

Completely, wholeheartedly agree with this.

tea

Please, you're not listening to my points at all.

Research has been done and is ongoing and results are showing that when you can remove more and more confounding factors to do with breastfeeding then the statistics between many outcomes for formula fed babies is very very little.

I am not saying at all that breastfeeding has no benefits, not at all. And it's not a fallacy - what I said was in regard to the specific website you posted, regarding UNICEF.

We have to be more discerning and seek out the facts and rationales behind the advice we are given. Our own NHS is a prime example as previously stated. They build up breastfeeding onto this pedestal whilst offering very little real term support, and mothers feel very let down in themselves and guilt ridden when they don't live up to the expectations fed to them from before birth.

All I am trying to do is spread the knowledge of what research tells us, and encourage people to discern for themselves based on the actual evidence provided to us, while symultaneously understanding the limitations studies and statistics provide us - basically the exact opposite of not "looking at the bigger picture, it just how you feel".

Even our large health organisations are based on these guideline's, which are based on information which is not as accurate as it should be.

I'm not saying that breast milk isn't optimum nutriton for babies, no one is.

What I'm saying is that just like the evidence behind BF health benefits, there are myriad other aspects involved in breastfeeding, and due to these the benefits of breast milk is sometimes out weighed by other negative aspects of breastfeeding.

It is important that women are not patronised and are given the realities of breastfeeding and childbirth, rather than select information authorities deem fit to share with us. It is obviously a flawed approach, or else we would have women who want to breastfeed doing so successfully, and women who chose to formula feed for whatever reason doing so without the crippling guilt!

It is wrong to omit and cherry pick certain bits of information to support your agenda.

BertrandRussell · 22/06/2017 17:09

"this isn't a "tell me how amazing breastfeeding is" thread? Why would it be full of positive stories?"

It's a baby feeding thread. Hardly a positive bf story to be seen.

And I don't think I have ever seen a thread about bf that wasn't taken over by horror stories.

And if other people feel like me, people who do have positive stories to tell are scared to tell them.

Yesyesyesyeswhatever · 22/06/2017 17:12

How much of your physical and mental health do you have to have sacrificed for BF until you have tried "hard enough" and can quit? When is the balance tipped toward it being more beneficial to a mother and child to FF rather than BF? Surely there is a point. And that is what is not taken into account in reports like the UNICEF one.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 17:14

Oh come now Bert I can't imagine you being too scared to post anything on MN Wink

AyeAmarok · 22/06/2017 17:16

glitter, that's because those threads, without fail, have posters making nasty, sometimes veiled sometimes not even, digs at mothers who formula feed.

Then they make posts denying the digs, they just love their DC more, and about how they "weren't trying to offend anyone oh-no-not-at-all [disingenuous sad face]"

DeliciouslyHella · 22/06/2017 17:18

Well put Yesyesyes!

BertrandRussell · 22/06/2017 17:18

Well, I have tried to post positively about bf before and been jumped on. And it is a sensitive issue. But it does worry me that anyone looking to inform their decision will be overwhelmed by horror stories.

glitterglitters · 22/06/2017 17:19

I've not seen that myself @AyeAmarok but whenever I've posted on one I've had backlash. I think it goes back to the whole tone and context thing discussed previously. Sad

glitterglitters · 22/06/2017 17:21

Hopefully that sad face was not read as disingenuous!

Fwiw all my friends ff and we at get on great!

OhTheRoses · 22/06/2017 17:22

After all the breast is best advice. The absolute mantra from the midwives and if, I needed someone to give me permission to switch to formula and not to be a failure. They didn't, hence at 8 weeks I developed a breast abscess and still tries to carry on for five more days after it was surgically removed and being drained.

The improvement in mine and the baby's physical health was remarkable but sadly by then I was so far down I had clinical one.

He's 22 now I. Those first few months are etched on my my mind.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 17:22

It's funny you say that Bert because I would have said completely the opposite.

Teaformeplease · 22/06/2017 17:22

The WHO recommends that babies are exclusively BF for the first 6 months of their life and then as part of a mixed diet to age 2 and beyond. There is no caveat that this only applies to developing countries.

Look at the marketing budgets of formula companies and compare that with the funds given to support BF in the UK. The difference is immense. Promoting BF in the NHS is seen as "bullying" yet promoting FF by advertising isn't. What a twisted world we live in.

Feeding difficulties do occur and mothers and babies are not sufficiently supported through them. It is expected that we will switch to FF so why bother with BF at all.

Yesyesyesyeswhatever · 22/06/2017 17:23

Bertrand: I appreciate what you are saying, but you have it well. You can enjoy and be proud of the fact that you have given your child(ren) "the best". There are many of us that feel traumatised by the experience and need our voices to be heard, as nothing seems to change. I had never heard a negative BF story before having DS. Yet, here we are. I hope I can make others like me feel less guilty and like failures. That is often a precursor linked to e.g. PND, which, of course, is worse than FF for mother and baby.

OvariesForgotHerPassword · 22/06/2017 17:25

The thing is, this is a thread about why people chose not to breastfeed. If someone posts on it saying "Well I loved breastfeeding because x, y, z", it'd be a bit twattish.

If you want to start a thread about "Why did you love breastfeeding?", go right ahead Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 17:25

Ime there is no support in hospital to BF just lots of 'its best etc' which is no help. Banging on about the benefits isn't helpful, support is what is needed.

BertrandRussell · 22/06/2017 17:25

It's funny you say that Bert because I would have said completely the opposite."

Have you read this thread? How many positive stories?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/06/2017 17:27

I have read this thread and it surprises me because I find the opposite usually.