Pregnant at 40 and over - thread 4

[Gizmojo]

To continue support for mums to be over 40

Thank you for your lovely replies.
As I said just found out I am weeks pregnant, at 44 I am in a state of shock.
I have a DS just turned six, and 4 years ago our 2nd son was born sleeping at 27 weeks, he was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome.
I have battled to get back on track, at first I was determined to fall pregnant again, but after a year or so I accepted my age had beat me and we decided the let down each month was just too much. We decided to stop trying and it was a huge relief. That was almost 3 years ago. I have suffered from anxiety somewhat since losing our son, and am most definitely a worry wart.
I am so, so scared of this pregnancy, I don't know if I am strong enough to face what's ahead. My son had always asked why he does not have a sibling to play with, and I know my DH is so pleased. I am just so frightened this may end in more grief! I have a Doc's appt next week.

Congratulations and welcome to the madness @Oriana02 and @rabbitstail 😊

@Oriana02, I'm so sorry to read of your very sad loss 💐and I can totally understand why you are overwhelmed and introspective about it all. Even without a loss to cope with I think many of us are insecure and frightened. I'm 13 weeks with my third and 42. I'm a nervous wreck and dreading my Dating scan blood results, just watching the phone. You're not alone.

I do hope that this is that start of a journey that ends in a perfect bundle of joy for you. No pregnancy is the same and I'm sure that you will get extra care and monitoring due to the loss of your baby boy. I've found this thread to be a great source of support since joining and it's made me realise how many of us are in the same boat.
Let us know how your appointment goes, and congratulations once again x

Hi oriano and others on this thread. I often read this thread but don't often post. I'm also 44 oriano and relate to your post. I lost a baby boy at 18 weeks when I'd just turned 40 and stopped trying after a couple more miscarriages. Then 3 years later found myself pregnant ar 44 and was so thrown by it. But this pregnancy has been uncomplicated to date, I am now 34 weeks. Most importantly, I have managed to relax into it and enjoy once I got past all the 13 and 20 week tests. I've had lots of extra scans and seen consultant midwife a few times which has helped reassure. I told my girls when I was 18 weeks (age 9 and 7) and they are really excited now..wishing you all the best.

It looks like I will be leaving this page way quicker than I would have liked 😭 I'm spotting, and although there is no pain associated, I don't think this little bean that I already love so much is sticking 😢

@Jojones210476 I know it's easier said than done but try not to panic and think the worst. Spotting isn't heavy bleeding, and if there's no pain that's a good sign too.
I had a few nasty bleeds and spotting with my first baby, but all turned out well. How many weeks roughly are you?

Sending UBS and fingers crossed the spotting hasn't / doesn't turn heavier.
Keep us posted xxx

Sending hugs not UBS sorry for a crap autocorrect 😕 xxx

four weeks and 3 days, I think had bloodwork at the hospital and my hcg is only 59, it took 19 long months to get my BFP I'm not holding out much hope, and to be honest I'm an emotional wreck!!! Thanks for the support all I can do is see what tomorrow brings, the spotting has stopped and my cervix is closed, but they told me it was a non viable pregnancy 😭

I'm so sorry that your having a hard time Jojones, don't loose hope x

Ultrasound revealed 7 weeks two days no heartbeat 😭😭😭😭😭

So sorry to hear your bad news.

@jojones, so sorry to read your sad news :(

be kind to yourself x

@Jojones210476 I'm so very sorry to read what's happened.
Thinking of you and sending love 💐 xxx

Thanks everyone!!! I appreciate your support

@jojones210476 - I am really sorry to hear your sad news. Hard to stay positive when you receive news like this, but one of the most valuable lessons of this thread is that hope exists, and often turns into a big fat positive reality. Hope is what unites us all on here. Hope to see you back here very soon. Big hugs xxx

@oriana02 & @rabbitstail - huge congratulations! :)

I have my first midwife appointment tomorrow. I'll be somewhere between 8-9 weeks, although it already feels like I've been pregnant for about a year! If hurling was an Olympic event, I'd take gold ! I've never been through one of these before. Any advice/info on what is likely to happen? Dignity went out of the window some weeks ago, so if I have to expose anything, it's really no longer an issue! . I am nervous as I know my pregnancy is a bit complicated, courtesy of an invading big fat cyst in my ovary!

So sorry to hear that Jojones, stay strong x

ja73 First midwife is usually just a form filling exercise, they may feel your tummy and ask a load of questions, do your blood pressure and that kind of stuff. So don't panic!

Thinking of you jojones hopefully you'll be back v v soon. Sending hugs, chocolate, flowers whatever helps a little.
Welcome all newbies, hope the rollercoaster ride of pregnancy is kind to you all!!

Thanks @rabbitstail. It was literally a form-filling exercise!

Actually Ja, if all is straightforward you won't normally have to experience any indignity until you get right up to your due date. That's the point at which they start snapping the rubber gloves on to check (and possibly sweep) your cervix. Pants firmly on until then.

Prior to that you'll have to expose your bump for measurement but nothing that requires depilation effort. Unless you have a hairy bump, of course.

I have epic indigestion now at 33 weeks. When I lie down I get awful reflux and have been waking in the night with it. All completely rubbish and no idea what I can do about it except keep chugging the antacids. Bleurgh. .

Hope you other third trimester people are faring okay. I am definitely waddling now (bump isn't completely unwieldy but the spd is pretty painful). But not long to go now. And I have finally evicted DH's stuff from his man cave so I have an empty baby bedroom! Electrician is coming on Friday to install extra sockets, my sister is painting it over the weekend and the new carpet goes in next Thursday. Then finally I can put furniture in and collect the baby stuff from all over the house! I am excited about that as I am tripping over it all. I think the nesting instinct is going mad.

christmas sounds like you're getting organised! We're still mucking about doing not a lot.

As for third trimester woes, The itching has returned with a vengeance so I'm thinking I'll have to phone someone tomorrow. Nothing is working- not piriton or even the dermacool. I don't want to have to phone mau but I don't have a named midwife so I'm not sure who I should speak to about it. I'm getting lots of Brixton hicks and some can be quite painful. I thought they weren't meant to be sore....

Oh and as you can tell from time posting - I still can't sleep

Hi ladies.....I'm only 6 wks but I remember the terrible woes of the third trimester! I typically get lots of braxon hicks so I can really sympathise with you Teabagtits, they are supposed to prepare you for labour though?!! I mostly hated the constant feeling of being uncomfortable, not looking forward to that!

Can I ask you all a question.
I had my dating scan and NT a test a week ago today.
If my results were high risk do you think I would have heard by now? I know letters take up to two weeks but if there was further investigation required do you think I would have had the dreaded phone call by now?
I am making myself ill worrying and got crushing tension headaches.
You wouldn't think I've endured this wait twice before would you 😕

@Teabagtits don't want to worry you (like we've got no shit to worry about) but have you been checked for obstetric cholestasis? Severe itching especially in third trimester DNA indicate liver problems for mum. I hope I haven't thrown. You into a panic but didn't want to not mention it just in case. One of my friends had it and they induced her around 36/7 weeks . If I was you I'd call Maternity Assessment aunt and tell them p, they might want to rule it out with a blood test, especially if you have no names midwife etc.

@ChristmasSeacow if heartburn is really bad have you seen doc for a prescription. I was a fire breathing dragon throughout my daughter's pregnancy. Horrific heartburn and had to have ranitidine twice a day or was just throwing us acid vomit everywhere. She came out with a full head of thick black luxuriant spiky hair!

ginliness I was tested for it before and it was negative. I'm probably going to have to get tested again :(

@Ginlinessisnexttogodliness I think you would have heard by now if you were high risk. My midwife told me it takes two working days to do the test and they call you straight away if high risk. The uncertainty while waiting is horrible though, I wish they would do a low risk text message service or something!