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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby showers!

23 replies

MumofthreeandBean · 18/03/2017 11:12

What are the thoughts on having a baby shower?
I am expecting twins in May and my sis in law and sis have arranged a baby shower for me.

I've never been to one, not sure what to expect.
What kind of games do you play??
I want to prepare myself!

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ElspethFlashman · 18/03/2017 11:14

Do you live in America? Cos that's the only excuse for having one.

Oh and the Daily Mail may pick up this thread, be warned. They love a baby shower thread.

meditrina · 18/03/2017 11:15

You don't have to play games. Have a tactful word with the host if you think the party aspects will be things you don't like.

As it's a shower (ie shower with gifts) then everyone will bring gifts. You may be expected to open on the spot, so think about what you will say.

Lemondrop09 · 18/03/2017 11:32

There's a long thread about it here. They are a popular concept with much of MN.

However I think it can be a lovely opportunity to get together with your favourite ladies. I've enjoyed all the ones I've been to (only one had games, like race to dress a doll and creating a baby face out of photos parts of the parents faces). Mostly it's just food and gossip! Enjoy yours

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2866327-Baby-Showers

Lemondrop09 · 18/03/2017 11:34

Sorry, I meant aren't popular on MN. (But in RL I've never met anyone who seems to find them as objectionable!)

affectionincoldclimate · 18/03/2017 12:06

I think they are great. Read somewhere that they help reduce incidence of PND as mothers feel supported and in gathering friends and family before birth it's like you get a physical reminder of your support network which was certainly my experience.

I had two baby showers. One planned by my friends for my friends and one at work which I didn't expect to be as lovely but it was and made me less anxious about leaving work as I saw everyone being so lovely and supportive.

I can see how it's seen as a more American tradition but my friends really wanted to organise one so I let them. I think MN grumps about it in a very British way as in - why would you make yourself centre of attention - stiff upper lip and all that 😆

When I had them I loved them and to all intents and purposes the participants liked them too as we got together for an afternoon tea and were catching up and chatting over tea cakes and a glass of wine. What on earth can be wrong with that? People brought lovely gifts - nothing too outrageous either. Baby gros, few toys, baby books. Some brought just cards and that was lovely too.

Key is that your organisers are sensible people and don't make it into something you wouldn't like. Mine listened to me and when I said nothing naff, nothing naff was happening. The game we managed to play was a Rizla game with guess the famous baby/parent! Rest was chat and laughter.

That's it!

Original poster

MumofthreeandBean · 18/03/2017 13:34

Thanks for your opinions.
I know it's not to everyone's taste but they are organising it so I'm not going to stop them. It's only family and 2-3 friends.

OP posts:

Sparklyuggs · 18/03/2017 18:26

I love the idea of a get together with my friends and family pre-baby, it's the gifts for the unborn baby which I'm less keen on so I've said no gifts, just a lovely afternoon tea and a chance to catch up with my friends. SIL tells me it isn't a 'proper' shower then, but my shower my rules

EllaNB · 18/03/2017 18:29

I wasn't planning to have a baby shower but I am now having two! Also pregnant with twins, which means I get two baby showers right? I joke!

My oldest friend is planning one in the town I am from with old friends and my family. I have since moved 3 hours away and I am having another shower with friends from where I live now.

I feel truly blessed that I have two groups of friends that what to plan and host a shower for me! As a PP has already said, it's so nice to see how happy people are for me and my partner and the support network I have! I have no expectations and just look forward to having a good time with my friends!

I hope you enjoy yours!

MinnieNoush · 19/03/2017 20:07

I love baby showers and had mine last week which was so much fun.
You can play games or not play games, it's entirely up to you. We did a few at mine. One was where everyone bought a photo of themselves as a baby and I had to guess who was who, another was we had a bunch of plain babygrows and baby friendly fabric pens and everyone designed a babygrow for my baby, they are brilliant, some are hilarious and some are adorable!
You will have a fab time!
x

ProseccoBitch · 19/03/2017 20:19

I think they're awful. If someone organised one for me I'd tell them I wouldn't be attending. I think they make the Mother to be look 'grabby'.

trollopolis · 19/03/2017 20:20

"I love the idea of a get together with my friends and family pre-baby, it's the gifts for the unborn baby which I'm less keen on so I've said no gifts, just a lovely afternoon tea and a chance to catch up with my friends. SIL tells me it isn't a 'proper' shower then, but my shower my rules"

Your SIL is right. No gifts for a shower is like having a party to come and watch the Super Bowl then not turning the TV on.

No gifts means the party isn't a shower. Because shower means 'shower with gifts' There no reason whatsoever why you can't have parties other than showers during pregnancy. But if you insist in calling a different Thor of party a shower all it will do is confuse people.

countingdown2gin · 19/03/2017 21:00

Everyone keeps asking me if I was having one this time. It wasn't so big a thing when I was pregnant last time.

I really don't like them, I hate being the centre of attention and expecting people to bring my baby gifts and coo over my bump is not appealing!! Im hoping everyone who asks me gets that I'm not interested!

But each to their own!

Sparklyuggs · 19/03/2017 21:25

trollopolis thanks for the info, but I'm choosing to be showered with love rather than material items which I don't need

Lemondrop09 · 19/03/2017 22:57

Love that Sparkly! I'm stealing that. If I have a shower, I'd be happy with an event but I don't want gifts. I shall ask to be showered with love instead

Original poster

MumofthreeandBean · 20/03/2017 08:29

Well it's tnt so I will let you know how it goes

OP posts:

Sparklyuggs · 20/03/2017 08:55

lemondrop thanks! I'm the same about birthdays etc, happy to have a party but I have so much stuff I don't need presents and I'd far rather just have their company. I do appreciate babies are expensive and a lot of people need the gifts from a shower much more than I do. Each to their own I think but no one has complained that it isn't a 'proper' shower

FartnissEverbeans · 20/03/2017 15:45

I like them. I live abroad and they're kind of a thing here (not the US) amongst the expats. It's lovely - we're all so far away from our families and it helps you feel less alone.

All the ones I've been to have been secretly organized. They're a good excuse for cake and a chat, you often meet new people and as baby stuff can be really expensive here the gifts are all very much appreciated.

I don't see what's wrong with having a celebration in honor of a new baby. Plus everyone (well, almost everyone) loves to buy new things for the baby.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 20/03/2017 15:50

I know a lot of people on here say they don't like them but the few I've attended have been really nice enjoyable afternoons.

Just before I went on maternity leave my work kindly organised a surprise one and it was really enjoyable, it was nothing fancy just a very nice cake, nice tea/coffee in little teacups which I really liked, they had a game of guess the birth weight & date and overall it was just an afternoon with work colleagues it was much appreciated.

Pinkheart5915 · 20/03/2017 15:55

They get a lot of hate on here but in the real world I've never been to a "grabby" one thy have just been relaxed afternoons with some cake!

My friends organised a surprise one for me and even my Mum came from France for it 😍 It was a really lovely cake, few buffet bits of food, mocktails and nice coffee, chatting with friends, they guessed the name & birth weight. It was really enjoyable and I really appreciated them organising it

meditrina · 20/03/2017 18:37

No-one would actually say they thought it was tacky, or a complete travesty of what a shower actually is, in real life. That's the difference between the Internet (where you can say what you really think) and RL (where etiquette requires you to smile and say it's all lovely.

A shower is a very specific form of entertainment. If you want a different one (eg no gifts) then it really isn't a shower and it's not a synonym for any party (loving or otherwise) during pregnancy.

Original poster

MumofthreeandBean · 21/03/2017 16:49

It went very well, friends and family just having a giggle, guessing babies weights and cake.
The gifts were thoughtful and much appreciated.
I enjoyed it 🙂

OP posts:

Lemondrop09 · 21/03/2017 16:53

Awww sounds lovely. Glad you enjoyed it, which is the main thing

affectionincoldclimate · 21/03/2017 21:33

Yay! So glad you had a lovely time!

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