Staying posifrickentive- Thread 14 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH]

This is last time I'll be able to start up a new thread...so here we go ladies!!!

[Gingerbreadmam]

Wow butterfly no wonder your emotional. Sounds like birth shouldnt be too far away for you though. Hope today is better for you.

oliver yes bit insensitibe about the pic, hopefully u will have yours to share with ds soon.

[AButterflyLightsBesideUs]

Just about to watch Call the midwife with my lunch and throw things at the TV because other people are giving birth I expect

Sorry you are in limbo time gingerbread, the not knowing is the hardest. I really hope your scan next week is good news

[Gingerbreadmam]

Haha you are brave. Never know you might come out in sympathy with their contractions and this time lead to something more.

Me too although i think i have already come to terms with it being the worst case scenario. I am just hoping i can book straight in for op and then see gp about future pregnancies.

I am being referred for rmc if this is the worst news but i think i will ttc regardless and possibly ask for progesterone for the next pregnancy especially if i am fortunate enough to fall quickly.

[ImGonnaSingTheDoomSongNow]

Ants, I don't know if it's work place specific but at mine I have to tell them no later than 15wks before expected due date so maybe check with HR to make sure you're not breaking anything by not telling them yet. Not sure what they'd do if I didn't tell them mind you.

myusername I hope you manage to have a relaxing birthday and it takes your mind off things a bit. I had an early scan at 7 weeks tok due to light spotting, the wait was nerve wracking. "Scanxiety" I think someone on here called it. I have my 12wk one on Thurs and I'm bricking it again. Can't imagine ever being able to relax in this pregnancy. - how I long for the blissful ignorance I had with my daughter!

Ginger that really sucks about your line managers. Only my supervisor knows at the moment and he is less than sympathetic though doesn't sound as bad as yours. It's really shit they are not being more supportive considering your previous losses.

Butterfly I went 2 weeks to the day over with my daughter so I feel your pain there. I had slow labour for 3 days, though I didn't really realise they were contractions the first day.
Here's hoping things move along for you soon and you'll be holding you're baby before you know it.

[Gingerbreadmam]

I guess there's not a lot they can do i would have thought they would go easy on me though. Im here in body but not really in mind and i would have thought that would be obvious.

As i said though i didn't get anything with my first two losses in fact i was ready to leave after my first one as they just piled everything up and left it for me returning. God i hated them back then haha!

[ImGonnaSingTheDoomSongNow]

No but they could at least make supportive noisss I guess? Or something!? That's shitty about the work, I'm not suprised you hated them.
Thing thing I found hard is all the people saying things like oh well it happens to lots of people, it's really common. Yes but that doesn't stop my pain! It felt like they were saying well just get over it already, you're not the only one.
Really hoping it's a positive outcome for you this time ginger. (And for all of us)

[Gingerbreadmam]

Yes my line manager said to me oh so it will just be a heavy period? Haha! Her sister has had 2 and has been fortunate in the process of it. I on the other hand haemorraged three times and was all prepped for a blood transfusion the last time so yes i guess if it is a mc and im lucky it will be a heavy period but considering my previous losses i doubt i will be so lucky. Idiots!

I hope all in the unpredictable first trimester get great outcomes too!

[oliversmummy26]

Doom I have found that people who haven't experienced mc definitely feel like it's just something to "get over", particularly when it's early on..so many people think it's just a bunch of cells then so why get upset. But the fact is you start picturing your new baby as soon as you get that bfp (sometimes even before then!) and it's so heartbreaking when it doesn't work out and all you can do is blame yourself, because, after all, who else is there to blame?

I have some lovely girlfriends who have experienced the same and they are genuinely the only people who have understood what I'm feeling and going through..and now being pregnant again, it's suddenly all so terrifying, nothing like the joyous carefree pregnancy I had before with my DS, where you blindly go about your pregnant business thinking, mc? No...that couldn't happen to me..

Having a blue day today...can you tell?

[purpleviolet1]

Carrick sorry to hear the baby is unwell but hopefully everything is moving in the right direction! Must be so worrying and draining after the nerve wracking pregnancy but im sure you are in the right hands.

Username - welcome.

Ants- nobody noticed and you are 26 weeks?? I was definitely noticeable by about 18 weeks. What's happening with your contract?

Gingerbread that is really disgusting behaviour from your managers. It really upsets me that miscarriages/ still birth are poorly understood and treated like a taboo subject and they don't know how to deal with them in the workplace. Big hugs to you. Wishing you all the best for next weeks scan.

Butterfly hope we hear your good news soon!! Thinking of you.

Oliver how unthoughtful of your ex and his partner, makes it worse that she has been through a mc and knows the pain too. Do they know you are expecting?

[oliversmummy26]

purple no, they don't know, we haven't told anyone and DS will be the first we'll tell (after our 12 week scan) and he'll be our "jungle drums" everyone we know will know as soon as he sees them! It did piss me off really, as I couldn't give a flying...that they're pregnant and wouldn't have done the same the other way around. DS obviously wanted a photo but I would have let him keep it in his room at their house rather than bring it home with him.

[Gingerbreadmam]

Thanks purple. I know. Anyway, back to optimism for now...

[theAntsareMyFriends]

olivers that sounds insensitive. I don't know about you but I everyone else getting PG just seemed to heap more pressure on and made me stress even more about my scan. I find it strange how people who have had MC, and should know how it feels, can be so careless about the way they break the news to other people. How old is your DS. I hope you are able to share some lovely news with him soon.

[knorrig]

Ants - that's amazing nobody has noticed and you're 26 weeks! I think i can just about drag it out to 20 weeks...I hope!

[LynseyH]

Hi all, just checking in. butterfly your completely entitled to having a meltdown, I think you've coped amazingly through the last 40 weeks. Hope those contractions ramp up soon and baby finally makes their appearance.
Agreed it's an insensitive thing with the scan picture olivers. Be strong and keep your head up. If they don't know your expecting yet, it'll be one in the eye for them soon.
I can't help any of the work contracts etc. I was made redundant a few weeks before my maternity leave (this was with my eldest) so not experienced the ins and outs of it.
All same with me, except I'm now full of cold and have a bad head. Lots of twinges that are all new but not expecting it to amount to anything just yet, 37+3 today.

[LynseyH]

Realised I hadn't read the last page before posting...sorry I missed some out.

[oliversmummy26]

Ants DS will be 5 in June, he's so excited about having a baby brother or sister, I'm gutted they got there before we did, but I know that the little brother or sister we give him will be a bit more special to him, he can't wait to help feed (I've yet to break the concept of breastfeeding to him!) and cuddle and bath the baby, apparently he's very good at changing nappies to! lol

[ImGonnaSingTheDoomSongNow]

Wow ginger she sounds like a right treat to work with.

olivers sadly some of the most insenitive people have been those who've said they've been through mcs themselves (or their partners).

Apart from the one supervisor and a couple of people I'm very close to I haven't told work yet and am wondering if I can keep my mouth shut until it's really obvious and someone asks. Which probably won't be long as with bloating and Christmas belly I already look pretty pregnant. Thankfully baggy work shirt is still hiding it at the moment.

Lynsey hope your cold and bad head don't stick around too long. Remember to keep hydrated.

[Gingerbreadmam]

I'm giving her bad press really she is usually lovely but lacking in compassion sadly.

[Myusername87]

Thank you!! Got here a short while ago and oddly I feel a sense of calm being away from home!! My toilet trips out of paranoia were becoming a nightmare!!

I was super chilled with my first, then after the MC I can't ever imagine being so chilled again. Suppose it's the set up for the lifetime of worry (obviously totally worth it)!!

Thank you for your replies, it's so nice knowing "I'm not alone". I have very supportive friends and family but no one who has actually gone/going through it!! I've found people just don't know what to say!!

[Sew3stitch]

Sorry to those who are experiencing people being insensitive. You really would hope that people who've been through miscarriages would be more understanding.

Carrick thinking of you and your little one. Hopefully you'll be able to take him home soon, can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

Had my second hcg blood test today so hopefully will get results tomorrow. Had left sided pain so spent half my morning at work googling ectopic pregnancies and now I think very slight spotting is starting although no pain anymore. Don't feel like this is going to end well. Just wish I knew either way...

Hope everyone is having a lovely evening

[Whatsername17]

Just checking in. Hope everyone is OK x

[Gingerbreadmam]

Have you had your results sew

How are newborn cuddles going whatser?

I am hanging on in here. Feel like spotting has increased yesterday / today. Had some very dark brown, almost black clotty discharge this morning and my wee is basically pale brown / pale red when wiping. I wish they would put me out of my misery!

[Popcorn1979]

Ginger and Olivers - sorry to hear people being less than sensitive. Definitely doesn't help during what is already a difficult time! I work with all men so told them about the first two but not the most recent, just worked from home for a couple of days. Think they feel so awkward about it I could probably ask for a month off and they would just agree and change the subject! Wish everyone got treated with the compassion they need.

Carrick - I hope your wee boy is doing ok and you are looking after yourself.

Olivers - I am dating from first date of mc bleeding, I was only 5 weeks at that one so was more of a period so don't think it will have messed up my dates that much.

Gingers - how is your spotting today? Mine has been very dark at times as well.

Myuser - wish I had some great tips to give you on how to not stress but nowhere near figuring that out myself! Look after yourself though.

Very impressed with those keeping it a secret till so late in pregnancy, you must have very good core muscles!!

Think I am 6+6 today - got a private scan tonight. Bricking it!!! Limited symptoms and brown blood for 10 days now - although none so far today!!! (Will obviously rush straight to the loo after I post this and check I haven't jinxed it!!!)

[Gingerbreadmam]

Good luck for scan popcorn let us know how you get on.

I feel like the spotting is slightly heavier. Still not at a point where i think this is a mc but i am at a point now where i think its gone on so long it cant be good news.

I need a colour chart to check every wipe i sit inspecting wondering what colour it really is.

Few spots on panty liner but mostly when i wipe today. I have had a few days where theres been nothing on liner hence why i think its a bit heavier.

[Edenslight]

Hi all, been lurking on these threads for a while - mind if I join?

Have one DD 2.5, mmc at 8.5 weeks in September and now pregnant at 8+4.

Had a private scan at 7 weeks which showed all normal & measuring well with good strong heartbeat of 140. Due to meet my consultant next week for further scan but an utterly terrified today. Have been doing a very good job of remaining completely detached from this pregnancy & trying to remind myself that there's nothing j can do anyway but today started having awful trapped wind type pains which I think kicked it all off for my mmc although I didn't realise it at the time as there was never any bleeding spotting etc. Can't tell anyone in RL & DHjust doesn't get it. Have s call out to my GP but has anyone had any experience of this or other words of wisdom to share while I wait for her to get back to me?! Think I just need some handholding!!!