I know I am over-worrying but have no-one to talk to...

[titihood]

I found out on Christmas Eve at in-laws in USA that I am expecting baby no.2 (have a nearly 6 yo DS). Did the test in the afternoon and went + really quickly. However, although I had been feeling slightly nauseous I couldn't really believe it. Other than greatly expanded and tingly boobs and some nausea throughout the day, I don't feel pregnant in the same way I did with my DS.

I was also concerned about the dates as my LMP was quite light and not like a usual period for me. I got myself a dating scan at the local EPU yesterday (when according to my LMP I should be 8+2) and they dated me at 7+1. I saw a heartbeat and they said everything looked good, but I am still worrying. My neuchal-fold scan isn't due until I am 13+5, and as an older mother (I am 38), I am concerned about this. Also as I got such a strong positive I am worrying about HcG levels and that the scan showed over a week earlier than I 'should' be.

I've read a lot on forums and things about various different outcomes, mainly good a few not-so-good. I know I am probably worrying about nothing, and am almost 'finding' something to worry about. I was on anti-depressants last year (reduced after the summer as knew wanted to try for another child), but decided to stop taking them after found out was pregnant as the ones I was on are not advised for pregnancy or breastfeeding.

I cannot tell if my worrying about this (and horrible irritability that is rearing its head increasingly) is hormonal or because I am off the meds. I saw psychiatrist last week but felt mainly fine then. The scan result has (stupidly) set me back and I feel a bit like I just need some reassurance and someone to talk to. Have only told my sister that I am expecting as I don't really want to tell other people until after the 12-wk scan.

I'm considering having private Panorama scan at 10 weeks so I can tell people sooner and stop worrying about my neuchal fold scan being so late... I wasn't like this with my first pregnancy (well, I worried but not like this). Starting to feel like it is all I can think about!

If anyone has wise words please do share!

Oh hun, sorry you're feeling so down.
Talk to your midwife / GP asap - they can offer a bit of support and refer you to a specialist midwife in hospital?

Can they move your nuchal scan forward a bit?

For what it's worth, I'm same age as you, 30+5 today. My dates at the start were all over the shop and on third scan (12 wks) came to what I thought they should be by LMP. MW was great and very reassuring when I worried about same stuff.

Big hugs x

If you can afford it, take the Panorama test.

Nothing you've said so far suggests you have any reason to worry but I remember how hard the first trimester is so do whatever you feel necessary.

I would also alert your midwife team about your previous mental health issues. There are specialists midwives teams that offer specific support in these circumstances and the people I know who accessed them thought very highly of them.

Good luck!

I'm with the mental health midwives for anxiety. It makes me feel a bit more secure and looked after. Thinking of you OP x

Thank you for all your kind words. I spoke to a private hospital today about having the Panorama scan and am going to book it on Monday at a time when my husband can come too.

The midwife did mention the specialist midwives but said that as I was under the care of a psychiatrist I should be fine (!) - though she did say to get in contact if I felt like I needed to. I mentioned my issues with the scan date when she booked it, and she said that I could contact the EPU and explain the situation (re being unsure about dates). She was quite nonchalant about the neuchal fold scan being at the absolute latest it can be (which is 13+6 according to my research). I am sure I am being overly anxious but I really don't want to be in the position of finding out at nearly 15 weeks that there may be an issue then having to wait even more time for further tests and results.

Congratulations Tini17 - feels great to be knowing you'll be meeting your little one soon! :) I am still wrapping my head around maternity care here as had DS in Canada and you're generally followed by an obstetrician. The MW I saw was nice enough, but it was her first day back after mat leave and she said herself that she was trying to remember how everything (computer system etc.) ran... I mentioned that I was interested in home birth (I am not sure that I definitely want to do this but it is something I have been thinking of). She told me that they will follow up with me at 16 weeks. Surely they see you earlier if there are issues with the neuchal fold scan? Or do you just get the results of that over the phone (as was the case in Canada)?

LondonGirl83 and Kelsey28 It's good to hear that the mental health midwives are helpful - I will ask to be put in touch with them if my current mood continues!

Thank you again for listening and what you all said. I find the first trimester hard as I am trying not to let people know until I am sure all is fine, but there are so many things to think about and in my case my mind is fixating on them a bit.

Hope you all have lovely weekends.