tearing / not tearing questions for those who've been through labour!

babynumber2xx · 12/01/2017 09:56

Hi i teared with my first. I remember it well the midwife told me to pant so i tried but then 3contractions came on top of each other which then my body just wanted to push. My baby weighed 7lb4.5oz xx

KateTheShrew · 12/01/2017 10:00

Did you tear?
Yes
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
No
Did you take any other pain relief?
Just gas and air for the birth (birth was very quick which is also what caused the tearing, I think). More gas and air during stitches and then I think they gave me diclofenac (?) for the pain after. It worked, whatever it was.
What position were you in when birthing?
On my back/left side.
Were you in a birth pool?
No. Wanted to be but there wasn't time!
What did your baby weigh?
7 lbs 8oz

FWIW my tear was quite bad (2nd degree) and needed lots of stitches but healed well and fairly quickly. I'm due baby no 2 in about 6 weeks and would like to avoid tearing this time, but think it's mainly down to chance and speed of birth. DC1 absolutely shot out at about 100mph and I don't think there was anything I could have done to prevent the tear.

Choccyhobnob · 12/01/2017 10:01

Did you tear? - Yes but not badly
Was this your First time? - Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? - No
Did you have an episiotomy? - No
Did you take any other pain relief? - No
What position were you in when birthing? - On my knees
Were you in a birth pool? - No
What did your baby weigh? - 6lbs 7

I don't remember much about the situation as it was really quick and I don't remember not doing what the mw told me but I do remember that it was an uncontrollable force and I couldn't not push when my body wanted to!

It was ok, had 2 or 3 stitches which dissolved and it was all fine

Introvertedbuthappy · 12/01/2017 10:02

Perineal massage with first, baby induced and back to back. Had a failed epidural and first degree tear. Baby was 6lbs 6oz (3 weeks early). Had several stitches but got infected. No long term problems.

Second went naturally on due date. No perineal massage. Laboured early stages in bath until contractions 2-3 mins apart then went to hospital. Had gas and air, gave birth standing up and had second degree tear. Baby 8lbs 1oz. No infection but now have slight prolapse. No long term problems (prolapse is minor apparently, slight discomfort during TOTM as I think blood supply increases to it, but DH assures me there are no differences down there!)

Bex107 · 12/01/2017 10:02

Hi, unfortunately I think it's partly down to luck, although the stats show that around 60-70% of women need stitches, so it's pretty common. I am only 4'11" and my DS was over 8lb (first baby); I had a nasty 2nd degree tear that needed stitching. Had DS in the pool with no pain relief (I was too out of it to know what I was doing!) and gave birth squatting down (most of my labour was in this position).

However he was also back to back and I was pushing for 3 hours, so it was tough going, although I'd specifically asked for no interventions and gave birth at a MLC unit so they were very hands-off. Baby was quite happy and I was pushing well so they just let me get on with it!

I'd asked not to have an episiotomy as I'd read that tears tend to heal better, and there's actually very little evidence that an episiotomy is helpful (and you can often tear as well). I would defo give perineal massage a go next time I think, but 7 months down the line my bits are pretty much back to normal, so I wouldn't be concerned too much about tearing again (although obviously I'd prefer not to, I feel like it's just one of those things!)

SVJAA · 12/01/2017 10:02

Did you tear? No

Was this your First time? 3 kids

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No

Did you have an episiotomy? No

Did you take any other pain relief? Gas and air with first and last, nothing with DD

What position were you in when birthing? With both boys I was on all fours on the bed, with DD I was standing.

Were you in a birth pool? No

What did your baby weigh?
6lbs 1oz, 6lb 15oz and 6lb 9oz

WheresMaHairyToe · 12/01/2017 10:04

2nd degree tear with DC1, but induced, fast and in the stranded beetle position. I had been given pethidine. She was 8lb 3.
DC2 and 3, natural home births, no pain relief, kneeling leaning over a birthing ball. 8lb 14 and 9lb 7. Not even a graze.
Never did perineal massage, used a pool for the first stage of labour with third baby.

CocoLoco87 · 12/01/2017 10:05

DC1 8lb14, lying on my side, 3rd degree tear, took oral morphine for 10 days afterwards.

DC2 8lb14 (consistent!), on my back I think?, 2nd degree tear, took paracetamol afterwards for a couple of days.

No perineal massage for either. No birth pool for either (although I would have liked to).

Tearing is MUCH better than having an episiotomy. With tearing your body seems to naturally heal itself mucheck better. Everyone I know who's had an episiotomy has had infection after infection for up to 6 months after.

Hope this helps!

RedCrab · 12/01/2017 10:08

First baby ended with forceps so an episiotomy and spinal.

Second baby - home birth in my pool. No pain relief - didn't need it until transition and by then, was too far gone to use it Did tear but didn't really feel it. Had stitches after.

I was so frightened of crowning and the burning sensation and tearing but I think the water is an incredible pain reliever. The intensity of sensations I felt were more around my hips and pelvis as she went down the birth canal. By the time it came to her coming out, the water took away a lot of the pain and I was so in the moment, I just didn't notice. Had G&A for the stitches after and my doula held my hand

No perineal massage before either births. Just couldn't face doing it. Position of forceps birth is obviously on back. Birthed my second child in the pool sort of half squatting / half kneeling facing forward. Probably would be been easier birthing her on my hands and knees though.

MrsBellefleur · 12/01/2017 10:09

Did you tear?
Yes - but only internally. Dd came out with her hand up by her head and it was this that caused my tearing.

Was this your First time?
Yes

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
I had gas and air for the birth and for the stitches afterwards. I think I had some local as well when they were stitching but it was still very painful. I was told if I couldn't cope with the gas and air I would have to be taken to theatre which I didn't want so I coped.

What position were you in when birthing?
On my back and side

Were you in a birth pool?
No.

MrsBellefleur · 12/01/2017 10:11

Oh and dd was 6lb 9.

Gardencentregroupie · 12/01/2017 10:15

Did you tear? Yes, quite badly - internally through to my bowel so I had to be cut fully open for a repair.

Was this your First time? Yes

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? Yes religiously

Did you have an episiotomy? Yes but I didn't tear at the episiotomy site

Did you take any other pain relief? Mobile epidural but was given a full spinal block when DD got stuck

What position were you in when birthing? Upright, all went well and she was nearly out but turned her head and got totally stuck, so needed forceps and had to lie flat on my back for the last part. Don't know at which part I tore inside.

Were you in a birth pool? Sadly not

What did your baby weigh? 8lb 8oz

My delivery was almost textbook, following pregnancy pilates and Perineal massage and pushing upright until the little sod turned her head when she was nearly out, then she got totally stuck and it all went tits up. Bad luck me.

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/01/2017 10:15

Did you tear? Yes perineal and labial
Was this your First time? Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? Yes
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? No
What position were you in when birthing? Leaning back
Were you in a birth pool? Yes
What did your baby weigh? 8lb10

So much is to do with your natural shape (length of perineum varies so much), speed and presentation at crowning, and luck. It's easy to say afterwards but don't worry about it - it's mostly out of your control. Listen to the midwives when you're crowning. Having said that dd1 was very very very slow when crowning and I still tore

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 12/01/2017 10:39

Did you tear? - No
Was this your First time? - Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? - No
Did you have an episiotomy? - Yes, against my request
Did you take any other pain relief? - Induction and consequently epidural
What position were you in when birthing? - Back
Were you in a birth pool? - No, I wish!
What did your baby weigh? - 8lbs 6

They said the baby needed more space to come into the world. I would have rather kept trying slowly but was given episiotomy against my wishes, though it didn't hurt. The stitches were the worst part of my post partum, couldn't even sit down... Went back to the midwife convinced they must be infected because it couldn't be right that they hurt this much! She gave me a big hug. Started feeling better after about ten days xx

inappropriateraspberry · 12/01/2017 10:40

Did you tear? Yes
Was this your First time? Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No!
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? Just gas and air
What position were you in when birthing? Knelt up in the pool
Were you in a birth pool? Yes
What did your baby weigh? 8lb 8oz

Apparently she came out with her arm up next to her head like superman! So the extra made me tear. They stitched me up and I was sore and tender for a while afterwards, but could get about ok. Think they were a little concerned about blood loss but it was all ok in the end. Can't remember what degree tear it was I'm afraid!

FeelingForSnow · 12/01/2017 10:49

PG1 DS
Did you tear?
Yes, many (11) small tears. Mostly due to the fact that he came out with his thumb in his mouth. Needed some stitching but nothing too serious. Was stitched immediately after while on the birthing table.

Was this your First time?
Yes

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
No

What position were you in when birthing?
On my back on the table.

Were you in a birth pool?
No

What did your baby weigh?
8lb 13oz

PG2 DD
Did you tear?
No

Was this your First time?
No

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
No

What position were you in when birthing?
On the table on my back

Were you in a birth pool?
No

What did your baby weigh?
7lb 14oz

babyinthacorner · 12/01/2017 10:53

I had 2nd degree tear both times, never did perineal massage.

DC1 - induction with drip, epidural, gave birth on back with legs in stirrups, 15 mins pushing, baby was 7lb 4oz.

DC2 - spontaneous labour, gas and air and TENS for pain relief, 3 hours active labour, gave birth on knees, baby was 8lb 7oz and born in amniotic sac.

Both times I was stitched and healed with no problems at all - although DC2 is only 4 weeks, so touch wood!

LaPharisienne · 12/01/2017 10:59

Hello

I'm reading various threads on tearing, episiotomies, prevention etc - but not everyone states what their circumstances were. Some put not tearing down to luck, others mention perineal massage, others talk about best position. Be good to know what was going on during your birth and see if there's a common theme, or if it is just purely luck!

Wondered if you could answer these specific yes or no questions?

Did you tear?
Yes, but it was tiny
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
Yes
Did you take any other pain relief?
Yes
What position were you in when birthing?
On back for final stage
Were you in a birth pool?
No
What did your baby weigh?
7lb

MauiChristmas · 12/01/2017 11:02

Did you tear? Small first degree tear

Was this your First time? Yes

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No

Did you have an episiotomy? No

Did you take any other pain relief? No pain relief at all

What position were you in when birthing? Back

Were you in a birth pool? No

What did your baby weigh? 8lbs8
Good luck! Nothing if my labour went the way I wanted it to but it was remarkably easy despite that

LaPharisienne · 12/01/2017 11:05

Btw from everyone I know, it's luck and I think the responses you'll get here will bear that out. You can't control the speed of the birth or how the birth happens so don't worry about it - do what ever is necessary to get the baby out with you and the baby safe and happy and enjoy it all!

Spindelina · 12/01/2017 11:05

Did you tear?
Yes, 2nd degree right by urethra and ended up catheterised for a few days. No lasting effects though.
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
No - was assessed but they decided not to.
Did you take any other pain relief?
Gas and air, paracetamol, ibuprofen suppository post-stitching
What position were you in when birthing?
On back for final stage, having been on all fours for most of it. DD had her hand on her face which wasn't ideal
Were you in a birth pool?
No
What did your baby weigh?
6lb13

ButtfaceMiscreant · 12/01/2017 11:15

Did you tear? DC1 - yes, second degree, first degree and a graze which were all vaginal/perineal (plus episiotomy - forceps birth); DTs - yes, second degree (perineum) and a first degree (by my clitoris - apparently this was a gusher!)

I did not do perineal massage either time.

Only had an episiotomy for my first birth, which was induced and then forceps.

First birth I had paracetamol, gas and air and a (partially failed) epidural. Second birth was paracetamol then just gas and air.

Both births were with legs in stirrups (forceps, then DT2 was a threatened forceps but I got him out myself)

I wasn't in a birthing pool.

My babies ranged from 5lb9 to 7lb in weight.

catsofa · 12/01/2017 11:16

Did you tear?
A very small tear, didn't need any treatment
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
No
Did you take any other pain relief?
No
What position were you in when birthing?
Right at the end i was propped up on my back, in pool
Were you in a birth pool?
Yes
What did your baby weigh?
7lb 6oz

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 12/01/2017 11:44

Did you tear?
MW described it more as a graze, needed three stitches.
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
Yes, once or twice a week.
Did you have an episiotomy?
No
Did you take any other pain relief?
No tens most of the way, G&A for last 10 mins
What position were you in when birthing?
Standing up pacing on the spot.
Were you in a birth pool?
No, couldn't fill it in time
What did your baby weigh?
8lb7oz

Whatsername17 · 12/01/2017 11:46

Did you tear?
No
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No - I'd never heard of it.
Did you have an episiotomy?
No
Did you take any other pain relief?
Mobile epidural
What position were you in when birthing?
Flat on my back strapped to monitors (hence the epidural)
Were you in a birth pool?
I wish
What did your baby weigh?
7lb15oz

I firmly believe that listening to the midwife and following her instructions. Dd was back to back to slowing things down at the end was important.