tearing / not tearing questions for those who've been through labour!

[user1465146157]

Hello

I'm reading various threads on tearing, episiotomies, prevention etc - but not everyone states what their circumstances were. Some put not tearing down to luck, others mention perineal massage, others talk about best position. Be good to know what was going on during your birth and see if there's a common theme, or if it is just purely luck!

Wondered if you could answer these specific yes or no questions?

Did you tear?
Was this your First time?
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
Did you have an episiotomy?
Did you take any other pain relief?
What position were you in when birthing?
Were you in a birth pool?
What did your baby weigh?

Thank you in advance, this would really help me (and others I hope)

Did you tear? Yes
Was this your First time? Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? Yes - on alternate days
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? Gas and air
What position were you in when birthing? Kneeling in the pool
Were you in a birth pool? Yes
What did your baby weigh? 6lb 10oz

Although I 'only' had a 2nd degree tear, it was so so painful and stitching it up was much much worse than the entire labour :(

4 births
No tears
No episiotomies
1 gas and air birth
3 epidural births
No massage
7lb 6, 7lb 13, 10 lb 8, 8lb10.

I had a small graze after the 10lb 8 baby but I suppose that's not suprising really!

I was on my back for all births.

No tears,
4 births,
Did perineal massage,
No episiotomies,
Had Gas and Air in three births, nothing for pushing in birth 1 and 2 and no pain relief in birth 4
Sat up on a bed for 1 and 2, on left side for 3 and on hands and knees for four,
No pool, water stopped contractions for 1and 2, no time for 3 and four,
Babies weighed 7lb, 9lb 5oz, 9lb 0.5oz and 8lb 4oz. The two nine pounders were superman babies born with an arm up near their heads.

DS1 was induced at 39 weeks and was an average size (6lb 15oz) and I had a 2nd degree tear that required a few stitches. It was fairly minor but it was a bit uncomfortable to sit down on hard hospital chairs for a few days afterwards.

DS2 was bigger - 8lb 10oz - and gorca bit stuck on his way out. I again had a 2nd degree tear but it was very small and only required one stitch and I didn't have any discomfort afterwards.

I did a bit of perineal massage with my first - not for as long as I'd planned because he had to be induced before term. I didn't do any 2nd time as I read up on it and found there was no benefit if it's not your first.

No episiotomy. Just gas and air both times.

With both I ended up delivering kind of sitting up and with my knees right up as far as they could go - it's meant to be quite a good position (Google McRoberts position/manoeuvre).

I wasn't able to use the birthing pool but would have liked to.

NB I didn't find the tearing aspect of childbirth to be all that painful (I was surprised by that as it sounds awful).

Did you tear?
A graze or two - nothing substantial

Was this your First time?
No

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
No

What position were you in when birthing?
Knees, torso on a birthing ball

Were you in a birth pool?
No

What did your baby weigh?
9lbs 11oz

Fwiw, my midwife said the reason why I didn't test was due to the slow controlled pushes I gave as DS crowned.

Did you tear? Yes - second degree - 11 stitches
Was this your First time? Yep
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No, couldn't reach
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? No
What position were you in when birthing? Flat on back due to monitoring with midwives trying to dig his ears out
Were you in a birth pool? No
What did your baby weigh? 8lb 7oz

I was lucky as only had a second degree, but it REALLY wasn't the worst part. I imagine more severe tears are different though.

I've had a tear with both mine and m.w said I'm more likely to again

Oh god! I am reading this with absolute horror. I commend all of your bravery for the 'oh I tore, but it was no big deal' attitudes - it sounds absolutely horrific if you haven't been through it.

If at any other point in your life, your flesh was forced apart (without anaesthetic in some cases) to the point it ripped - say the bit between thumb and index finger - it would be a serious injury worthy of great sympathy!

I am only 11+4 but I am already staring to worry. Thanks for the honesty though and god I am starting to realise - aren't we women tough!!

Did you tear?
No
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
No
Did you take any other pain relief?
No
What position were you in when birthing?
Kneeling
Were you in a birth pool?
No
What did your baby weigh?
7lb 15

I think that I didn't tear because I paused at the next contraction after the head started to emerge. Breathing and not pushing on the next contraction allowed time for skin to get used to the tension before the rest of baby came.

DS1

Did you tear? Yes, 3rd degree (ouch)
Was this your First time? Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No
Did you have an episiotomy? Yes, which I believe prevented a worse tear
Did you take any other pain relief? No
What position were you in when birthing? Lying down
Were you in a birth pool? Wasn't allowed :(
What did your baby weigh 6lb7oz

DS2

Did you tear? Small 2nd degree, 3 stitches
Was this your First time? No
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? No
What position were you in when birthing? On knees, bending forward
Were you in a birth pool? Yes
What did your baby weigh 7lb15oz

OP birthing pool/active labour (walking around) was brilliant, would highly recommend

No perineal massage, and giving birth on all fours with gas and air as pain relief for both of my labours.

First labour resulted in a third degree tear with a 7lb8 baby. Second labour I had a second degree tear with a 9lb3 baby.

Did you tear? yes, 3rd degree.
Was this your First time? yes.
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No.
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? Yes. G&A, pethidine and epidural.
What position were you in when birthing? On my back for the first 2 hours, then legs in stirrups prepping for forceps. I managed to push him out as they were coming towards me!
Were you in a birth pool? No
What did your baby weigh? 8.6lb

Did you tear? No
Was this your First time? No
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No.
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? G&A
What position were you in when birthing? I was in a corner bath so sort of on my side/back/sitting up.
Were you in a birth pool? Yes
What did your baby weigh? 8.8

Libby I think you get that attitude after time, the tearing just blends in to the pain you get near the end of pregnancy, sore nipples, anal fissures (or was that just me?), sleepless nights etc etc.

Try not to worry too much. Labour is something that has to happen but if you can keep calm and positive it really helps. Look into hypno birthing, it's helped so many women.

Oh Libby I so do know how you're feeling. I was so scared of crowning and tearing. As it happened, with DC1 I had forceps so never had to experience that part. Having gone through it a second time - I needed no pain relief, which amazes me. Of the two births, I would say the first was the "worst" because of the hours of contractions, which I found difficult to cope with. I do think by the time you reach transition - which is a kind of mental moment - you just don't give a shit and your body takes over, and you don't feel a lot of what's actually happening. The experience of the baby coming out is such a powerful sensation, it would be impossible to pin point what feeling was tearing and what wasn't.

If you can - if you're not induced or there's not a time factor - try to have a water birth. The water really is an incredible pain reliever.

Did I tear? Yes. 3rd degree and post partum haemorrhage.
My first baby and labour. I massaged etc for months beforehand but when it came to it, my baby came out to quickly in an awkward position. the midwife was so apologetic that it had all gone so wrong!

I only had gas and air for labour.
Spinal block for the stitching up afterwards.
Wanted a water birth but there just wasn't time.

and 7lb 2oz 😊

Did you tear?
Yes
Was this your First time?
Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No
Did you have an episiotomy?
Yes
Did you take any other pain relief?
Gas and air and after I was sewed up they popped a suppository in (I think it was diafene).
What position were you in when birthing?
On my back and I had no choice about that, due to an antibiotic drip and catheter I feel as if my body would have been a lot more comfortable in a different position!
Were you in a birth pool?
We don't have birthing pools in the majority of Irish hospitals so sadly no!
What did your baby weigh?
7 lbs 14 oz

I had an awful fear of an episiotomy before the birth but it wasn't as bad as I thought during labour or after. Saying that, I'll be trying to avoid it this pregnancy with some perineal massage.

Two babies...

Did you tear? Yes (3rd degree)
Was this your First time? Yes
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No
Did you have an episiotomy? YES
Did you take any other pain relief? Epidural and topped up for potential CS as was back to back and delivered in theatre with forceps
What position were you in when birthing? Stirrups on theatre bed
Were you in a birth pool? NOPE
What did your baby weigh? 9lb 6oz

Did you tear? Yes (second degree)
Was this your First time? No
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No
Did you have an episiotomy? No
Did you take any other pain relief? Epidural
What position were you in when birthing? On bed sitting up
Were you in a birth pool? NO
What did your baby weigh? 7lb 13oz

DD1

Did you tear?
No. The midwife said I had a small graze, but I never really knew what she meant by this and I couldn't feel anything

Was this your First time?
Yes

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
Yes, but not consistently

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
Gas and air

What position were you in when birthing?
All fours

Were you in a birth pool?
Yes

What did your baby weigh?
7lb 13oz

DD2

Did you tear?
No

Was this your First time?
2nd

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
None

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
No

What position were you in when birthing?
All fours

Were you in a birth pool?
Yes

What did your baby weigh?
9lb

My 2nd birth was a very quick home birth, born before the midwife arrived.
With both births I didn't feel the urge to push or feel that I was doing it consciously. My body took over and birthed the babies. I'm sure listening to my body like this rather than obeying commands of 'push!' helped. (No one told me to push, btw, just referring to how it seems on TV)

Did you tear? 1st time - 3rd, second - minimal 1st mostly grazes.
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
No - I'd never heard of it.
Did you have an episiotomy?
1st time yes (forceps) didn't stop the tear as well. 2nd no.
Did you take any other pain relief?
Only gas and air.
What position were you in when birthing?
1st mostly on my knees but had to be on my back for the forceps. 2nd on my knees.
Were you in a birth pool?
I wish
What did your baby weigh?
7lbs 3oz and 6lb6oz.

I dont know anyone who hasn't had any tearing or stitches and although it sounds scary it was for me the least worst part of my birth the first-time around. Physically the tear healed pretty quickly.

Did you tear? 1st no, 2nd yes, a tiny bit.
Was this your First time? See,above
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? No
Did you have an episiotomy? 1st yes, 2nd no.
Did you take any other pain relief? 1st gas and air then epidural, 2nd gas and air only
What position were you in when birthing? 1st pretty immobile on my back, 2nd sitting, then semi reclined to deliver. Midwife holding my leg I think.
Were you in a birth pool? No
What did your baby weigh? 1st 8.11, 2nd 7.4

Both labours were induced early for medical reasons. My tear had a few stitches and healed quickly, I was able to have sex after 4 weeks to give you a measure. Episiotomy was infected and sore, was,able to,have sex after 6 weeks though it was a bit tender.

Did you tear?
Yes, both times

Was this your First time?
2 labours, 2 years

Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth?
Yes, more with first time

Did you have an episiotomy?
No

Did you take any other pain relief?
Gas and air

What position were you in when birthing?
Standing no 1, all fours no 2

Were you in a birth pool?
No

What did your baby weigh?
7lb 6oz / 7lb 11oz

I think speed has a lot to do with it. I had fast labours - I don't think my body stood a chance

2 labours, 2 tears

Did you tear? NO
Was this your First time? YES
Did you do Perineal massage weeks before the birth? NO
Did you have an episiotomy? NO
Did you take any other pain relief? Pethidine and gas and air
What position were you in when birthing? LYING DOWN ON BED
Were you in a birth pool? NO
What did your baby weigh? 6lb 8

I pushed my son out in 8 pushes. The midwives were shocked I had no tears. Must be luck?