Do you think this is too much money to be spending on a nursery and clothes?

[user1479858517]

Hi,

I'm Maya and I've just joined MumsNet 😊

I have a question regarding what you think is too much to spend on your (first) newborn?

I'll give you a bit of background around me. I have a stable job in a publishing company and I get around £1150 a month (after tax). Currently I live with my parents as my husband is working abroad in Italy. I don't pay my parents rent (mortgage free property) though I do help around with small bills and expenses around the house (no more than £300 a month). My husband is saving his money so we can buy a property early next year so I have take upon the task of sorting the nursery out + buying all necessary items for the baby.

Anyway, so I had a terrible miscarriage early last year (I am sure no miscarriage is not terrible) and since then I have dreamed and waited for this day to come - the day when I am six months pregnant and things are finally coming together and I can decorate my baby's nursery!

I have been spending like A LOT though and not just because I love the look of a lot of the things that I buy... to me quality is expensive and I want the best for my baby (you know, chemical free clothes and blankets and the sort).

I'll give you an idea, I bought a lot of stuff from brands like Numero 74, Garbo and Friends, Jamie Kay, Mrs Mighetto and a lot of expensive independent-owned businesses. Blankets for £100, a duvet blanket set for £145, a pair of tights for £15, a print for £50, a wooden toy for £70, a canopy for £105... am I going a bit crazy?

I also recently purchased wallpaper for £110! My husband is increasingly getting worried about my overspending and I'm putting it all down to first (alive and well) baby fever. I told him I probably won't do this for our second born (we want a big family). I'd just like to get perspective from a few other mamas out there, I'm sure you all know what baby fever is like! 😅

i think there quality and going crazy! obviously everyone wants to spoilt there first baby and especially after a miscarriage.. but I think spending 15 pound on tights is abit much as babies grow so quickly and wallpaper? is that going to last for a couple years or not. at the end of the day its up to you and if you have enough go for it just be careful!xxxx

Personally I'd rather spend the money on a good travel system, best mattress etc, they feel more practical things. There's so much stuff I bought for our first born that we never used. If you want to spend maybe direct the cash at more of the necessities rather than tights and canopies 😀
A few beautiful items that you'll cherish arent a crime but for everything to be that expensive does seem disproportionate to your income.

Wow, £15 for a pair of tights is a lot. Especially as it's not a necessary item.

It is sensible to buy quality when you can afford it, especially for items you'll use a lot, eg cot, pram, car seat. But don't confuse quality with price. Have you had a look at the IKEA cot thread?

Having said that, I bought a very expensive buggy, it was £800 5 .5 years ago. Still going and I'm waiting for dc3.

Also, you may find that your baby only wears sleepsuits for the first few months and will be sick and poo on the nicest ones anyway. People normal gift clothing and blankets so I really wouldn't buy anything special for a very little baby. John Lewis white sleep suits are a great buy and wear very well.

Why not write a list and work to a budget, it will help you choose which items are worth spending the extra on.

Fine to spend that much if you like. I would wait till the baby arrives to buy anymore. Likely you will only need or be bothered with the essentials. It's a very different reality when the baby is born.

I think on your salary that's daft unless of course your dh is a high earner. To me it would be more important to save money to put into a home for you and the baby. Paying £300 a month is nothing and should mean you can save for that.

I agree with a pp poster though is invest in good prams mattress etc. I know it's really exciting but I think you've got your priorities a bit mixed up. I always say to anyone spend what you can afford if you want and also don't feel bad if you can't afford it and it doesn't sound like you really can afford it if it's stressing your husband out.

Congratulations!

Yes I do think that is excessive

OK So you have few outgoings but babies don't need expensive stuff and it isn't a marker for how much you love them or how long you've waited for them.

You'd be better placed to save money to see you through Mat Leave.

Sorry, but that does sound excessive, although I do appreciate its easy to get carried away. I've focussed on pushchair, car seat and furniture (although still not bought the most expensive!) and everything else is a mixture, varying from the Aldi baby event to John Lewis and a lovely outfit from an independent place at the baby show. I'd rather save some cash so I can take a full year mat leave. I know what it's like to finally be pregnant after a tough time though, congratulations!

No, those are crazy amounts of money. A decent buggy, somewhere for the baby to sleep and the various bits and bobs are enough without spending £100 on a canopy. If you are spending this now, I think it will be hard to stop when the baby arrives.

And tights and baby's are a nightmare combination, like trying to scoop spaghetti into a pair of tights.

You are going a bit crazy in my opinion. You don't need to spend that much on a new born, they get more expensive and you should save your money for when you really need it.

I agree with a pp - if you can afford it why not, but it doesn't seem like you really can and if you're planning on buying a house surely it would make more sense to put the money towards your deposit to keep your repayments lower?

Also from experience, it's difficult to anticipate in advance what you and your baby's preferences will be. D.C. may refuse to sleep in the cot you've bought. You might have a baby that needs changing a dozen times a day in which case the expensive clothes you've bought will be in the wash after an hour with you having to scrub poo stains off beforehand. When you have a bad nappy explosion up to the baby's midriff or neck (yes really!) the easiest way to get a body off is with a pair of scissors 😂 which is not so bad if it came in a multipack. I bought lots of supercute dresses for DD1 from the White Company then realised it makes no sense to put a baby in a dress until they start to toddle. DD was really tiny and hated having things pulled over her head so I ended up buying new wrap bodies instead - H&M do nice organic ones.

Also bear in mind that just because shops sell beautiful baby things, it doesn't mean they're safe! I'm not sure what you mean by the canopy, but SIDS guidelines dictate that you shouldn't have anything in or around the cot at all which could suffocate or restrict airflow. Duvets should never be used with babies. For nighttime sleeping, sleeping bags are much safer than blankets.

I think you are not being sensible. You are living with your parents rent free and wasting a lot of money.

I am on a lot higher salary and used mostly gifts or m&s or primark stuff and it was only worn for eight weeks.

There's nothing wrong with spending money but with respect you seem to be spending it on silly things - £15 for tights when they will only fit for 4-6 weeks?! You'd be better off investing in good nursery furniture, a good travel system, a good sling etc than fancy wallpaper - those are the things your baby will actually need.

If I was your parents and I was letting you live with me rent free so you could save to buy a property I'd be really annoyed with that level of wasting cash.

It is completely excessive. You don't need a £100 ' chemical free' blanket - you need something that washes well and doesn't show stains. Just because they're not billed as chemical free does not mean they're filled with harmful carcinogens.

You need to reign it in because if you're spending like this now you are going to go nuts when they're actually here.

Yes, you have gone a bit crazy, sorry.
You are overspending relative to your income and on things that aren't necessary.
All you need to sort, really, is somewhere for baby to sleep, some way to transport her and perhaps 12 changes of clothing (people will tell you less- but I think it's good to have some spares incase you get a really enthusiastic pooer/puker)
It sounds like you have that stuff already so I think you should probably stop now. Just...(soothing voice)..... step.away.from.the.credit.cards......

Waaaayyy OTT. Babies don't give a shit what they have. At 8 months my son prefers cardboard boxes and keys to any of his toys.

I got most of my baby stuff off eBay. We bought a cot new as it was on offer in mothercare. We also bought our pram new.

Other than that all the following things were eBay or passed on from friends or relatives second hand:

Sleepyhead, bouncy chair, toys, clothes, books, baby carrier

I think you'll regret this. Your salary is not high (I'm not being patronising- nor is mine) and while your outgoing a are low at the moment that will change a LOT very soon when you own your own house. Moreover, regardless of your husband's earnings, you don't know what your maternity leave and subsequent return to work will bring, and you would be wise to save for that if there's spare money (been there, done that, getting the t shirt as we speak).
I really do think when the baby arrives you will realise why a dozen cheap sleepsuits, a dozen cheap vests and a few hats and cardio are all you will wish you'd bought. I bought plain white organic cotton sleepsuits from John Lewis for a couple of quid each in multipacks. Likewise organic cotton bedding. Quality does not have to be expensive. IMO IKEA has some of the best children's toys and furnitire around. The ONLY things I have encountered in a year of having a baby that is worth some serious money is a decent buggy and sheepskin pram liners / Footmuffs. If I could afford some merino winter vests and sleeping bags I would have got those too.

Good luck and congratulations.

Stop spending and help your husband save for a house so you can move out of your parents. I am 35 weeks pregnant and earn much more than you and 90% of my baby's stuff is second hand or bought on a bargain. There is much more important stuff to spend money on than over priced unnecessary baby goods. Book a holiday, plan for mat leave, invest for the future.

Is the £110 wallpaper to hang in your parents' house or in the house your DH is saving to buy?

Why are you buying wallpaper when you living in your parents hpuse ? Makes no sense.
You spending too much and baby won't notice this stuff..

You haven't mentioned it but I would also make sure you have ALL the essentials before buying anything else you don't need. Travel systems, car seats, slings, baby monitor, etc mount up. And then nice to haves like a feeding chair...
You'd also be amazed how much money you will want when the baby is here. Even if you're frugal they grow out of clothes quickly, they need toys, you'll want to go to baby activities that cost, and you might find you want to spend money on help with feeding (I did and so did a lot of people I know), or even some help with the baby if you struggle. Much nicer IMO to have money to spare on a maternity nurse when you're struggling with exhaustion than look at your £100 chemical free blanket. Don't mean to sound doom and gloom but we spent some cases getting tongue tie and feeding issues sorted and I'd have loved more for some help.

Congratulations, I hope the rest of your pregnancy and beyond goes smoothly.
I totally understand why you want to spend on your baby, but it sounds like now is the time to reign it in and think about saving for that future house.
Think of it this way, what's better? Heaps of expensive baby things that will be useful for a matter of weeks or a lovely home to raise that family in? Some of the things you have bought will be useful for any future children but for now, keep that house in mind. Make the most of the fact that right now you have few expenses.

Each to their own, and all that but I do think this is very ott. I guess I was the opposite end of the spectrum, and most of my dd's baby stuff was hand-me-downs from friends or bought in supermarkets or high Street chains. I didn't want to spend a lot as I knew I wasn't going to go back to work after maternity leave and we were also planning to move house (hence didn't even bother decorating her room). It didn't mean my baby was any less eagerly anticipated or cherished than yours, it's just our priorities and outlook were different.

As cheesy as it sounds the most important things you can give your child once their basic needs are met are love, attention and a safe, stable environment in which to grow up. You can provide these things whether you're on a shoestring or have the budget of an A list celebrity.

Congratulations and good luck!

That seems a lot to me, even if you aren't paying rent. I personally would be saving money towards buying that house.

The most expensive things we paid for were a travel system (£550) and a cotbed (£150). Apart from that, I was not bothered about expensive brand names. The baby isn't going to notice, to be honest. Also, you can get nice, soft blankets which don't cost an arm and a leg. The softest blanket we have is actually from Primark!

Woah that's crazy on your salary and given your circumstances. We spent a maximum of £500 on our baby pre birth - we found we've been given lots and picked up the non essentials second hand. The only things we spent money on really are mattresses and car seats. Babies get through stages so quickly... and poo on pretty much everything... You won't get value for money.