Do you think this is too much money to be spending on a nursery and clothes?

[user1479858517]

Hi,

I'm Maya and I've just joined MumsNet 😊

I have a question regarding what you think is too much to spend on your (first) newborn?

I'll give you a bit of background around me. I have a stable job in a publishing company and I get around £1150 a month (after tax). Currently I live with my parents as my husband is working abroad in Italy. I don't pay my parents rent (mortgage free property) though I do help around with small bills and expenses around the house (no more than £300 a month). My husband is saving his money so we can buy a property early next year so I have take upon the task of sorting the nursery out + buying all necessary items for the baby.

Anyway, so I had a terrible miscarriage early last year (I am sure no miscarriage is not terrible) and since then I have dreamed and waited for this day to come - the day when I am six months pregnant and things are finally coming together and I can decorate my baby's nursery!

I have been spending like A LOT though and not just because I love the look of a lot of the things that I buy... to me quality is expensive and I want the best for my baby (you know, chemical free clothes and blankets and the sort).

I'll give you an idea, I bought a lot of stuff from brands like Numero 74, Garbo and Friends, Jamie Kay, Mrs Mighetto and a lot of expensive independent-owned businesses. Blankets for £100, a duvet blanket set for £145, a pair of tights for £15, a print for £50, a wooden toy for £70, a canopy for £105... am I going a bit crazy?

I also recently purchased wallpaper for £110! My husband is increasingly getting worried about my overspending and I'm putting it all down to first (alive and well) baby fever. I told him I probably won't do this for our second born (we want a big family). I'd just like to get perspective from a few other mamas out there, I'm sure you all know what baby fever is like! 😅

Yes, its a ridiculous level of spending on your salary.

I wouldn't spend like that and we have two six figure incomes.

Gosh, please stop and take stock of the comments above.

It's a lot. Tights for a newborn wouldn't even really get worn as they wear babygrows 99% of the time.

£145 on duvet set is silly, you do know duvets are not suitable for babies? They shouldn't have them until 18months plus

I earn the same as you, had a previous miscarriage, all in we spent 10 years trying for this baby (now 36 weeks) but own our own home outright... I think the amount you've spent is daft. From day 1 I had no intention of spending much. I've been given a lot and everything else has come from eBay, Facebook second hand groups and charity shops. Apart from a cot I drew the line at specific nursery furniture... what's the point? It'll do for a few years and then be redundant (and I've seen the low resale value second hand), instead I bought a stunning solid oak chest of drawers for £20 second hand... it'll last forever! Totting it all up I've spent £250. I'd rather put spare cash toward the larger motorhome we are saving for which will give us lots of wonderful memories, happy holidays and will actually enhance ours and my child's life. Expensive baby stuff won't bring us anything extra or enhance our lives any more than free and cheap second hand. It sounds like you'd be better off doing the same but putting your spare pennies towards your own home. That's an investment in your baby and your future, over priced fancy baby stuff isn't.

I'd be a bit pissed off if I was your parents and was letting you live rent free and you were spending a fortune on this stuff when if saved you could buy a house. Why are you buying wallpaper for your parents house when you plan on buying somewhere? Surly it'd be better to save the money and use it to decorate your own house. I have a 2 year old and she has no idea about decor!

I also agree that the duvet is unnecessary at the moment. Your baby won't be using that until they're probably nearly 2.

Yes you're going crazy. There's no point spending a fortune when the probability is all those nice clothes will end up stained with vomit (especially if you have a refluxy baby like I did). Plus they grow out of it within five minutes. They also can't have a duvet as newborns. By all means spend on a pram, stuff that will last. I have a bugaboo bee that is still being on used on child no.2. But £70 on a wooden toy? That's crazy. Especially if you're saving to move out.

You're prioritising your money all wrong TBH. I get it, I also had a horrible, drawn out miscarriage at Christmas, but when I fell pregnant again I knew that I wasn't going to be buying £100 baby blankets! My big splurge was the buggy (a Bugaboo Donkey, because we want a few children relatively close together). All of our other items have been bought second hand/with leftover wedding vouchers/are hand-me-downs. We have had a lot of unexpected expenses since she was born too- she wouldn't latch to breastfeed, so the day we left hospital DH had to go and buy a Medela Swing pump and lots of bottles so we could feed her when we got home ($300 for that, we are in Aus). Now she can latch but we use nipple shields ($30 a pair). I needed a different flange size than the standard that came with the pump, another $30. And as soon as we arrived home we realised the nursery we set up for her is redundant because she will sleep in our room for a long time because we are too worried at the thought of not having her in our room! Those things don't sounds like much but they add up fast. We have probably spent about $500-$600 unexpectedly since coming home from hospital 2.5 weeks ago. We had the money because we hadn't spent lots on silly, frivolous things already

And, I should add, my salary is double yours and my husband earns more than double what I do, so we definitely have the money to spend, but we see much more value in paying chunks off our mortgage/having lots in savings instead. My baby is currently snuggled under a woollen shawl of mine from TK Maxx, and is blissfully happy.

Save more of your money. Consider buying good quality second hand. Most of our little boys stuff is either hand me downs or charity shop buys. They grow out of it so quickly it's daft to spend so much. You can get some lovely stuff on eBay if you don't like charity shops. Make sure you have plenty of baby grows but don't bother too much with fancy outfits till they are 3months, it's too much of a faff, when they pee over stuff so frequently (well our little boy managed to).
Make sure everything can be tumble dried. You won't have time for faffing around hanging stuff outside.

You don't earn a lot of money so yes I think you are spending a lot, Unless your dh is earning a lot. How will you feel when there is a giant poo stain on your100 quid blanket? What happens when dh comes back, do you have a house, deposit for a house? Unless you already own and have a reasonable savings pot of cash you are being quite immature frankly.

What are you planning to do with your job once baby arrives. Honestly if it were me I would be saving like crazy so I could as much time off with my baby as I could and buying everything second hand.

Which is pretty much what I did.

Honestly, babies are sick and have explosive poop episodes so often sometimes cheap baby grows / bedding / blankets and muslins etc are great and then you don't feel guilty when binning them when stains don't come out, or if you can't face cleaning up the mess when out and about. (Mio bambino / Napisan good for soaking tho latter tends to give things a blue tinge).

Wish I'd spent more on the buggy now I have my second, and considered ones that transform for 2 kids. That was still main expense tho, and car seats and isofix. Got great quality cotbed from JL £180, and mattress £100. Asda do great cotton bedlinen and cute vests, as do most of the other supermarkets. Little green sheep co had great quality too, tho expensive. Grobags super useful and always on offer at tkmaxx.

Be wary that when baby arrives and you're sleep deprived you'll prob spend a lot more on "things that might just get the baby to sleep / occupy them for more than 5mins at a time" e.g. Jumperoo / sleepyhead that aren't really necessary.

You aren't obliged to use only 2nd hand stuff even though it's the environmentally friendly thing to do. You are allowed to buy lovely (and expensive) things. That said, I think it's time to reign it in. I earn lots more than you and own my house outright. My baby wore hand me downs, supermarket multi packs, clothes from the M&S and John Lewis sale or Gap outlet and then whatever gifts we received. They won't care. I expect you won't care so much after a little while. Your money is more useful later on. What if saving now allows you longer on ML or to return to work part time? I thought a jumperoo was genuinely worthwhile as it does but you done time - most babies seem to love them.

I think it's also taking the piss to contribute only towards bills and not save towards moving out. I'd want at the very least to be able to treat my parents to nights out/weekends away to compensate them for the inconvenience of living with a baby.