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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Getting a seat on train when pregnant?

31 replies

ThePartyArtist · 25/10/2016 16:15

Just interested in what other pregnant women commuting do about the seat situation? I commute on a small local train. No seats are usually available when I get on, but they become available about half way through the journey. Time on the train is about 20 mins. I also have a 25 min walk to get there, and 15 min walk at the other end. I don't really want to have to ask for a seat, but if I have to what do others find is the best way of doing that?

OP posts:

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PigletWasPoohsFriend · 25/10/2016 16:16

I don't really want to have to ask for a seat, but if I have to what do others find is the best way of doing that?

Asking if you can please sit down

OlennasWimple · 25/10/2016 16:17

If you are in London you can get a Baby on Board badge

Otherwise, ask the person sitting in the allocated seat for people who need it. Just do it politely but firmly: "Excuse me, I really need to sit down please"

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 25/10/2016 16:19

Otherwise, ask the person sitting in the allocated seat for people who need it.

Not sure all trains have those. Some have seats for wheelchairs then normal seats.

WordGetsAround · 25/10/2016 16:20

You need to ask - it's polite.

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2016 16:22

Otherwise, ask the person sitting in the allocated seat for people who need it. Just do it politely but firmly: "Excuse me, I really need to sit down please"

The person sitting in that seat might need the seat too. It's fine to ask, but not all disabilities are obvious and you might be told to ask someone else.

Barefootcontessa84 · 25/10/2016 16:23

Yes don't just stand there expecting someone to move. A combination of rudeness and genuine morning oblivion means you are unlikely to be regularly offered one (often even with a badge). If you want one, asking is the way!

PurpleDaisies · 25/10/2016 16:27

A combination of rudeness and genuine morning oblivion means you are unlikely to be regularly offered one

Or people not wanting to accidentally offend someone who isn't pregnant!

GreyBird84 · 25/10/2016 18:24

I would ask the conductor to find you a seat. I too commute by a local train (NI) & while I've never not got a seat If I didn't see a spare one I wouldn't hesitate to get a conductor to sort it out.

Honeybee79 · 25/10/2016 20:17

Am 35 weeks and rarely get offered a swat on london buses/trains. I do think that half the time people are simply oblivious to their surroundings and don't notice.

I ask if I need one. You have to. "Excuse, I'm pregnant, may I have a seat please?" normally does it.

OlennasWimple · 25/10/2016 20:25

Pretty much every train (and certainly every tube carriage) I've been on has a seat or two marked for people who need them (the precise terminology might vary, but there's usually a picture of a pregnant woman, someone holding a child and a man with a walking stick). Certainly see more allocated seats than conductors!

Of course the person sitting there might equally need the seat - and I wouldn't have asked them if it was obvious that they did - but I was suggesting starting with that seat because everyone knows if they sit there they might need to give it up, so it's an easier conversation to have if you aren't feeling confident.

If they say that they need the seat, often that conversation in itself is enough for someone else to stand up and offer their seat anyway.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 25/10/2016 20:31

Huge assumption here that OP is talking about London.

Nothing in her OP says that.

SarahMOs · 25/10/2016 20:48

Agree with the above about 'morning oblivion'. Best bet is to ask or make your bump super obvious! Even if you're not in London you can get the badges on eBay I think. I'm only 16 weeks pregnant and commute into London on some of my work days. I will get a badge soon but at the moment I'm ok standing if I have to. As a commuter I used to be super paranoid I was still sitting in a pregnant lady was standing hehe!

TirednessIsComing · 25/10/2016 21:20

You can still get baby on board badges through the tfl site. They send to your address.

On your train do you need to reserve and pay more for seats or is it a free for all?

I usually address everyone with 'can I please have a seat?' I wasn't too bad in my second trimester but now and in the first I feel very ill standing.

MrsChrisPratt · 25/10/2016 23:35

I ordered a baby on board badge and had it sent to my home in the West Midlands. You don't see them here very often but it has worked when needed.

Make sure you ask if you need a seat. I tried to tough it out when feeling rough one morning at about 15 weeks, ended up almost fainting, crying in front of a load of strangers and being offered a sandwich out of someone's packed lunch. Mortifying at the time, rather funnier in hindsight.

oldlaundbooth · 26/10/2016 01:41

You'll have to ask. People rarely offer their seat, they're either too rude or absorbed in their phones.

Brown76 · 26/10/2016 02:14

I ask someone in a priority seat, "excuse me, are you able to give me this seat?" then if they need it for some reason they can say 'no', I can just turn to the next person in a priority seat and ask them the sand question.

Brown76 · 26/10/2016 02:14

*same

Choccyhobnob · 26/10/2016 11:49

Does your train have first class seats? On my trainline (Southeastern) you can sit in First Class from 20 weeks. You send a copy of your MAT B1 form with a copy of your season ticket and get a letter of authority from the train company.

Not sure every operator is the same but you could maybe ask?

Hyland · 26/10/2016 17:40

I too reguarly get the train, I'm 6 months.

Feeling faint on a sardine packed 4 coach train seems to be my thing !

I have plonked myself on the dirty floor before ha ha.

Find the idea of asking for a seat embarrassing. Soooooo English i know, stubborn yes lol. Plus i would be worried that i had forced someone out of a seat, that they in fact needed even if it isnt obvious.

I do ask for people to open the windows. I do refuse to push down into the isle leaving me nothing to hang onto. Arms not as long as a mans and dont want to over stretch during pregnancy.

I agree some people spot the very obvious bump but are either to frightened to offer in fear of offending someone who isnt actually pregnant.

Or chose not to notice, pretend they havent seen.

Or just innocent people in their own world (ordinarily I would probably be in this category, oblivious to my surroundings).

I have ordered a baby on board badge. Not sure i can bring myself to wear it though. Silly hey!

I'm aware that this is my own issue and chose to get the next train when i can see that I'm clearly not going to get a seat.

I have been caught out however and got onto a train thinking i could see spare seats only not to be quite quick enough to seat myself in a free spot.

Then my dilemma is that passengers have piled on behind me leaving me no room to hop back off.

Oh well

I decided that i would be more annoyed wearing a badge and to be then ignored. So would rather suffer in silence and try and avoid packed trains where possible.

PeachBellini123 · 27/10/2016 04:45

It's taken me a while to get the courage up but at 31 weeks I ask for a seat now. I don't want to scare anyone but a friend of mine was hit in the stomach whilst on the tube. Luckily both her and baby were fine. The man who shoved her didn't do it on purpose: the train came to an unexpected stop and he fell into her.

Please be careful ladies, a bit of embarrassment is preferable to being hurt.

Fabulosososo · 27/10/2016 11:54

I once nearly fainted on the train and had to ask for a seat. I just asked the nearest person to me. was getting so giddy by then that I didn't even have chance to think about it. He seemed a little arsey about moving but the guy next to him said 'you can sit here I get off soon anyway'. Hopefully if someone is grumpy about moving there will be someone else who is more sympathetic who overhears. It's kind of sad that we've lost that inclination to offer our seats to people who need it as a society. But then again in the morning, half asleep, on a long commute, sitting and relaxing is just so much better than standing! So I can understand the reluctance!

Spudlet · 27/10/2016 11:57

Definitely get a Baby on Board badge, TfL will post one to you. I think they should be a nationwide thing anyway.

MackerelOfFact · 27/10/2016 12:28

You will have to ask if your need for a seat outweighs your wish to avoid asking for one!

I'd find the priority seat and ask the person sat there "Sorry, are you able to stand?" That covers you in case they need the seat themselves, but makes it clear that you do want to sit.

pitterpatterrain · 27/10/2016 12:36

Yes ask if you need it. I did stand up at times earlier when I felt fine but now at 38 weeks I need the darn seat even if only for 2 stops

I typically try a section with multiple seats facing each other and ask a group "can I sit down please?" - I like some of the PP phrases and they are probably better worded but being pretty massive now I haven't had anyone not stand up yet.

I used to wear the badge earlier but now it is pretty obvious tbh.

casiopeia · 27/10/2016 14:51

The person sitting in that seat might need the seat too. It's fine to ask, but not all disabilities are obvious and you might be told to ask someone else.

This

I have been asked twice in the past month to give up my seat by another pregnant lady. While feeling rubbish, but not obviously showing yet I found it all so embarassing to explain that instead I just politely stood up. Now I never sit in the 'allocated' seat for the fear of being politely kicked out.

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