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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Sex in pg - once a week, once a month, or "sex? what sex?"

28 replies

notsolilKel · 11/01/2007 16:35

Hi all

This is personal, sorry, but I need some feedback here...

DH seems to think that we don't make love often. I'm 5 mo pg and it seems to me that 1x a week or so is quite an accomplishment!

Is everyone else managing this more often??? PLS GIVE ME SOME AMMO

Cheers!

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 11/01/2007 16:40

at once a week!!

Tell you Dh he's a very lucky man.

My Dh hasn't had any in the entire pregnancy.

Pinkchampagne · 11/01/2007 16:42

I am not pregnant, but have to say that once a week is pretty good going! I never managed to have sex that often when not pregnant! When I was pregnant with DS2 there was NO sex for the entire pregnancy, so once a week while pregnant sounds like loads to me!!

TheBlonde · 11/01/2007 16:46

31 weeks here and no sex for months

ShowOfHands · 11/01/2007 16:46

Oh your poor DH not getting enough. What a terrible thing for him.

Kel, we're on the same antenatal thread so obv. I'm as pg as you and while my libido has just woken back up after an early pregnancy hibernation, I think your DH is either very brave or very silly to even question you. Every woman is different and if you want it once a week/once a day then that's what you want.

Crikey if he wants to moan he should try being 5 months pregnant.

Original poster
notsolilKel · 11/01/2007 16:49

Yeah I know, bless him, he seems to be having a second puberty or something... he's actually (mildly) threatened to take to porn & extra long showers if he can't find "relief" more often... my goodness I just don't know what else to say beyond "hello?!? I'm pg over here..!!!!"

thanks for the replies ladies, keep 'em coming

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 11/01/2007 16:50

Give him a box of tissues and tell him to go in the bathroom and sort himself out if he's not happy....

KathyMCMLXXII · 11/01/2007 16:52

Without going into details I think yr dh is doing ok!
Maybe you are just v attractive when you're pg!

dannyg · 11/01/2007 16:56

Hia Like you i am 5 months, and sex at the moment is pretty much non exsistent (sorry for bad spelling) and when we do have sex i cant seem to get comfortable which kinda puts me off. I would rather a nice hug and some sleep.But im sure this is down to body changes and is only temporary. What the other halfds seem to forget is there is so much going on inside us.x

sleepycat · 11/01/2007 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prettymum · 11/01/2007 17:02

both pregnancies had sex all throughout the pregnancies, with dc1 sex started off labour too.

maveta · 11/01/2007 17:29

As everyone else is indicating, it´s so individual but the overwhelming majority would agree he should be happy to get whatever he is getting!!

I´m 25 weeks and we are still at it once or twice a week but I fully reserve my right to refuse at any time!! With no repercussions re. moaning, making you feel guilty etc etc. And it could just as easily be the other way round, there are plenty of guys who go off sex a bit during pregnancy for whatever reason (mostly preoccupation with ´touching´ or hurting the baby I think). And that´s just as valid.

What does he suggest, that you lie back and do your duty?? Maybe you could buy him some KY and a porn mag?

sweetkitty · 11/01/2007 17:47

First 3 months too sick to even think about it.

At week 15 SPD kicks in which kind of happers things too, DP said "if I'm watching you wince and cry out turning over in bed or getting off the sofa there's no way I'm going to suggest sex" he also gets a bit funny once I look pregnant, we have loads of cuddles though and occasionally I would "be nice to him if I was feeling sorry for him.

When DD2 failed to make an appearance we had some sympathy shags which were the most unsexy ever, 9 1/2 months pregnant woman with bad heartburn and SPD saying "hurry up and get it over with" afterwards no sex for about 2 months, poor DP I feel sorry for him.

DP would fall over himself with once a week (even now )

cece · 11/01/2007 17:51

Ducks for cover...

we had it more often when I was pg

but in your situation I woulfd say that is a fair amount...

Spidermama · 11/01/2007 17:55

I didn't want it in the first three months because I felt so sick all the time.

The second three months it was lovely and I felt so sensitive.

The last trimester is became less comfortable as I was a heiffer and positioning wasn't easy. Also, frankly, he didn't fancy it as he was freaked out at the thought of jabbing the baby.

motherinferior · 11/01/2007 18:02

Pregnancy kills my libido. Stooooooooone dead.

suis · 12/01/2007 05:07

Good grief, as if you don't have enough to contend with when pregnant with out a petulant man trying to threaten his way to more sex... except that "porn and long shower" isn't much of a threat really is it ? If he wants to do that...let him. It's his loss if he wants to forego cuddles and closeness with you in favour of that. I am 100% certain that all men do it anyway.

We've managed it exactly once since early pg, and it was a bit of an akward scramble trying to be comfortable and I think DP is now totally put off my the presence of the LO and the fact that I'm now the size of a double decker bus.

ratfly · 12/01/2007 08:50

don't worry about how often you are having sex - with all the stuff going on inside you, your dh is lucky to be getting any at all.

When I got pregnant, I was so sick that we had sex about once per 2 weeks for the first 4/5 months. All that jiggling made me want to puke. Then I felt a bit better, and we had quite good sex (3 per week?) for a couple of months.
Then enter the 3rd trimester and I am a heiffer, can't get comfy, have to be propped up in bed, and we are down to as and when. If dh hassled me, I told him to crack off with some porn and to leave me alone. Also, moaning and holding your belly helps stop any sexy thoughts he might have before he gets them...
Now I am a week to go, and we are at it about 3 times a week, purely for practical reasons. So it is "hurry up and get it over with" sex, purely to ripen my cervix, but I refuse to feel sorry for dh cos at least he is getting some.

BlueberryPancake · 12/01/2007 10:31

I think in some cases the hormones can increase the libido - we had sex often and it's better than before! I also have lots of sex dreams! But that didn't happen at all during my first pregnancy, we didn't have sex for weeks in a row...

bumperlicious · 12/01/2007 10:38

Twice in 17 weeks. 1st 3 months felt too sick, now just too tired!
But the dreams, ah the dreams...at least I'm getting some relief with out doing any hard work!

3rdTriMossTer · 12/01/2007 11:48

Twenty nine weeks pg here!

First trimester I was always throwing up and my boobs felt like they were trapped in a vice. No sex thanks!

Second trimester I would get in from work at about half seven, eat my tea and go to bed. Spent the weekends sleeping. I think we had sex twice in the entire second trimester.

I'd read in these pgcy books, "the second trimester is a time when many women experience the so called pregnancy 'bloom'. Sex is often better than ever, and many women experience an orgasm through penetration alone for the first time." WTF???? Heavens I'm glad dh didn't read any of those books he would have been seriously worried.

Now I'm in the third trimester though, that's all changed. I have had the most vivid dreams which, sorry if tmi, lead to a rl orgasm. I feel horny as a teenager most of the time. Having said all this, it's actually quite a pain in the neck trying to get dh to be up for it, and his idea of foreplay certainly needs some work. But that's another issue!

Give him a box of tissues and sit him in front of MTV Dance of a Saturday morning!

Original poster
notsolilKel · 12/01/2007 12:35

just to say thx again for all the info ladies. told DH I'd done this and it seemed to shame him a bit into realising maybe he's not so unlucky after all. I swear it must have been some stupid article in one of those men's mags he read somewhere telling him everyone else does it 3x a week.

oh and whoever it was who said 'maybe you just look sexy when pg' gets my vote for superstar of the year. thanks luv

OP posts:
goldenpeach · 15/01/2007 13:06

It depends on how you feel. I enjoy having sex and you can find positions that don't make you feel uncomfortable (like lying on your side). Sometimes my partner is glad to have a 'hand rub', so he is happy and I can relax. But it is funny to have sex as you feel you're not alone! And there's always non penetrative sex for you too, so you don't have to miss out. Of course you look sexy when pregnant, your boobs are huge and you radiate fertility to your man!

hitchcock · 15/01/2007 13:12

first preg at it all the time right up2 and including the induced date dp didnt know what had hit him
second preg can count on 1 hand the amount of times we did it..... dp is proud thou as i went in to labour 4hrs after he last did it (due to be induced 2 days later)

so think it is diff everytime.
anyway once a week is not bad my dp would be very happy if he got it once a week now

scorpio1 · 15/01/2007 13:19

i personally wanted it ALL THE TIME whan i was pg (all 3 times).

however, my friend (2 pg)could count the times she did it on one hand.

so yes, i would think that 1x a week is sufficent!

Kyte · 18/01/2007 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.