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Original poster

Help needed in social events involving alcohol without revealing pregnancy

35 replies

Bootsalex · 23/04/2016 14:04

Hi,
I've just found out I'm 3-4 weeks pregnant which is excellent but I'm concerned now as I've got so many social events between now and the 12 weeks scan! Most of the things will involve booze, and without making me sound like a total wino, my friends will suspect if I don't have a proper reason for not drinking!
I'm happy to tell my closest friends the truth but I'm with many others who I don't feel comfortable telling yet, until I know I'm a bit further on as I'm nervous in early stages.
Does anyone have any tried and tested "excuses" that I can borrow?!

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TeaBelle · 23/04/2016 14:09

Driving
Tired
Work/other social event tomorrow
Cutting back for health reasons
Buy your own drinks so it isn't obvious

cingolimama · 23/04/2016 14:09

You can always say you're on medication for an infection (unless people are very rude, they won't enquire further) and can't drink.

You could also say you're "de-toxing", but it won't work if you're stuffing your face with canapes.

superking · 23/04/2016 14:10

I wouldn't bother with excuses, people will see straight through them and it will just draw attention to the fact you're not drinking. My tactic was just to act normally and substitute alcoholic drinks with soft ones - e.g. get a lime and soda and if anyone asks say it's a vodka lime and soda. If someone else is ordering a round you can always order an alcoholic drink and just pretend to drink it, then get rid when no one's looking. No one really pays attention to what other people are drinking.

Don't, whatever you do, say that you are on antibiotics - might as well be code for "I am pregnant".

Original poster

Bootsalex · 23/04/2016 14:20

Yeah I tried antibiotics for 1st pregnancy.....I didn't bother making excuses with my close friends but I'm going for a weekend away with a mixed bunch of close friends and some I hardly know so I don't want to tell people....plus I can't use the driving excuse because I'm going on train and no detox as I'll be eating all sorts! After May I literally have NO social events until like Christmas!

OP posts:

LumpishAndIllogical · 23/04/2016 14:24

When I was out I just didn't mention it, mainly bought my own drinks - like poster said some lime soda or a lemonade. No one mentioned it. If they bought a round I just didn't mention it and pretended to drink alcohol through a straw them left it somewhere. I remained chilled about it too. Was hard work, all the late nights though as didn't have the stamina!

I really didn't want people to find put so didn't bother with excuses incase to arose suspicion. It worked well for me!

Canters15 · 23/04/2016 18:25

I'm 10 weeks and got myself into a pickle about this when I found out. I had a number of creative and probably not very believable excuses. As time has gone on I've started not saying anything and just brazening it out. I did get a couple of raised eyebrows whilst sipping orange juice at a wedding last week but most people are too polite to ask directly and they can guess all they like. my biggest problem at present is hiding my chubby little tummy!

MYA2016 · 23/04/2016 18:48

I just drank lemonade and told people it had vodka in... by the time they've had a few they won't even notice you're not getting drunk!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/04/2016 20:14

I had a "and tonic" recently when I didn't want to get into why I wasn't drinking. Can you avoid getting into rounds?

Helbelle75 · 23/04/2016 20:22

Same here. I was asked 3 times last week at an event if I had anything to tell, as I wasn't drinking. I just said I was driving.
i think most people have guessed but are too polite to ask.

almostthirty · 23/04/2016 20:22

I was drinking appltizer in a wine glass at a party last weekend because I was driving but wanted to drink out of a nicegrown up glass . the amount of people who told me I shouldn't be driving because I was drinking so much was amazing. I also had 1 person try to order us a taxi as they had seen me "drinking" all night. I had to laugh as I explained it was a soft drink in a wine glass and not wine.
It might be worth a try?

LadyFarnborough · 23/04/2016 20:39

I've just taken the option of dropping right off the radar and not getting in touch with anyone to make any plans. I'll probably have no friends left by the end of it but I won't be going out with a new baby anyway

Sophia1984 · 23/04/2016 21:11

I was in the early stages of pregnancy over Christmas and successfully hid it from family by making my own drinks and pretending there was alcohol in when it was just tonic and accepting glasses of wine, then going to loo and pouring them down it!

emwithme · 23/04/2016 22:20

Is there one friend who you can tell who will help? They can drink your alcohol and/or assist in the substitution/subterfuge.

RaeSkywalker · 23/04/2016 22:29

I did a few things- drove, bought my own drinks, said I'd had a nasty virus and was still feeling a bit ropey...

freshprincess · 23/04/2016 22:38

Can you come down with food poisoning the day before so need to 'take it easy'.

FortyFacedFuckers · 23/04/2016 22:42

I agree with the people who have said pretend to drink. Try to buy your own drinks and pretend it's vodka or whatever/ take a glass of wine if in a group and tip some out/ nurse it all night no one will notice by the time they have had a few drinks. My friend at work was pregnant and no one knew and we had a work night out so every drink she got I drank it as well as mine, I would drink some then switch the glasses so that it looked like both were being drunk nobody noticed even although I ended up hammered.

Thisismyfirsttime · 23/04/2016 23:13

Take the initially offered glass of wine/ whatever but say you have a bit of a headache/ toothache etc so don't want any more because of headache/ painkiller for tooth before bed. They both give you the option of going to bed earlier than the people who are drinking heavily too.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 24/04/2016 11:29

Ive been substituting drinks, had to do an epicly quick switcheroo of rose wine which my dm had pre poured for a summer berries and lemonade cordial! Nobody knew the difference, even my Dh looked at me like and then sipped it to see what I'd done!

I've used mouth ulcers as an excuse too. In fairness I've had some terrible ones but pretending they're at the back/side of your mouth and anything alcoholic is exacerbating the pain/stopping them healing.

And at the minute I'm using vicks vapour rub on my temples I can't stop sniffing it, it's like crack so I stink of menthol and everybody assumes I've got a cold and therefore dont fancy a drink.

LillianFullStop · 24/04/2016 12:13

Faking it with non alcoholic drinks is the easiest and most people won't even blink an eyelid. Bartender can make you a tonic with lime to pass as a G&T. If someone buys you one you can just hold it and pretend to drink.

Can you tell one person to at least be a 'wing-man' to help cover for you? Had to do that for a friend a couple of years ago at a wedding and I ended up taking a shot of tequila for her when no one was looking!

Original poster

Bootsalex · 24/04/2016 13:16

Thanks everyone, great advice here :) feeling a bit more prepared for it! Think I'm going to have to enlist a wingman!x

OP posts:

fiddlesticks123 · 24/04/2016 18:29

I'd also throw 'insane hangover from mental night last night' in there for good measure. I'm 9 weeks now and am also not a sober wallflower at parties - so far I've had to deal with two big nights out and a hen do! I used the crazy hangover excuse for both nights out (each was with a different group of friends so worked well) then for the hen do I said I was having a few exploratory blood tests with the docs and they asked me to steer clear of alcohol in between. I felt shitty for making up a story about the docs but it worked well!

skankingpiglet · 24/04/2016 18:57

I recently went out for a big birthday dinner with our close friends. Only the singleton woman was drinking. Everyone knows I'm pregnant already, so no surprises there, but the other 3 non-drinkers all said they were on a health drive whilst TTC, we all know everyone is trying. Turns out one was on a health kick and 2 are/were pregnant. I stupidly didn't suspect for a minute even one might be pregnant (they've all been trying for a while now and are getting 'serious' about making it happen).
TBH if they are good friends, I'd just tell them as I'm guessing you would want to tell them if something went wrong?
As an extra trick I used when at events that weren't just close friends, ginger ale looks good in a wine glass (a buttery white wine), but usually I just said it was my turn to be the designated driver.

Thelittleredhead · 24/04/2016 19:32

I went out on what was intended to be a boozy night out with 3 girlfriends when I was 5 weeks. I told them I'd had cystitis and didn't want to make it worse by drinking. It's not an excuse I'd use with guy friends, but most women know the pain, and no-one wants to ask too many questions about it. It worked a treat!

positivity123 · 24/04/2016 19:37

I did a lot of faking it and people really don't notice.
When people did notice I quietly told the person who had asked that we were about to start ttc so on a health kick and not to tell anyone as we were keeping it quiet

notagiraffe · 24/04/2016 19:43

Can you just pretend you are having a dry month as a bet with your OH, or something similar? We did dry January then I was dry for Lent too. It is quite easy to pretend you've just given up alcohol for a while as a challenge.

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