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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Could I have got pregnant this way or unlikely?

37 replies

Sophiadiaz · 18/02/2016 16:17

Hi
I've been very silly which has resulted in me now being 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. At first I wasn't thrilled considering I'm still in uni and don't have a partner but I'm coming to terms with it now and have great support.

The scan dates suggest that I got pregnant in between the two days I had sex so it's either over my a day or off. I fully understand the need for dna if I want a definitive answer.

I was seeing a boy and we slept together using protection on the 7th. He finished (in the condom) he then took it off and a few minutes later we had sex with out a condom for about 1-2 minutes and he didn't finish as we stopped.

I then slept with someone else on the 9th. It was unprotected and he didn't finish inside.

Scan dates say it was the 8th I got pregnant.

I haven't slept with anyone since the 9th and it is certainly just these two as didn't have sex for 3 months prior to the first one.

I have told the second guy that I'm pregnant and that it is probably (but not certainly) his. I haven't told the first guy anything and we no longer talk.

I have no feelings for either of these guys. They are both good people and I have no real preference on who the father is so this is not wishful thinking. But is it possible or likely that I became pregnant from the first man? And should I inform him?

OP posts:

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MaryPoppinsPenguins · 18/02/2016 16:18

You could be pregnant by either man.

You'll have to have a paternity test to find out conclusively, I would imagine.

waitressinacocktailbar · 18/02/2016 16:20

a definite answer is impossible without DNA so you rea;;y aren't going to know until then.

If I was made to GUESS I would guess the first mad due to the date and the "double dipping".

Original poster

Sophiadiaz · 18/02/2016 16:22

Sorry I meant the second guy did finish inside*

OP posts:

Secondtimeround75 · 18/02/2016 16:23

I'd say it's 50/50.

waitressinacocktailbar · 18/02/2016 16:25

oh, 50/50 then

5hell · 18/02/2016 16:25

Both seem almost equally likely, especially if u had some penetration with both...u/they must be v fertile.

Good luck :)

5hell · 18/02/2016 16:26

Oh well then slightly more likely to be #2

3WiseWomen · 18/02/2016 16:26

Then yes probably more the second guy BUT sperm lives for a while in the body and it can easily be the first too.

You won't know until you do a paternity test.

Finola1step · 18/02/2016 16:26

You have no way of knowing which one without a DNA test. Sperm can live inside you for a good few days (up to a week) so the scan dates are irrelevant.

So it really is 50:50.

timelytess · 18/02/2016 16:29

And welcome to MN, OP.

shutupandshop · 18/02/2016 16:29

No idea. It wont be long and tou can get a dna test. Congratulations

Original poster

Sophiadiaz · 18/02/2016 16:30

Thanks for your replies. I guess I just wasn't sure it was very likely as the first guy didn't finish and was for such a short period of time. But guess sperm could have been in his pre cum from when he finished in the condom?

I guess I better tell him and not just Spring the possibility of him being a dad on him in a few months

OP posts:

sepa · 18/02/2016 16:32

If 1st guy had any swimmers left on him then he could be the father as could the second. DNA test will be needed but I would wait till after birth if there isn't a real issue with who the father is!

Good luck op

brookeberry · 18/02/2016 16:35

Hope you're okay Sophia. I got pregnant in the past with just a few minutes and no finish. . . .

Glad you have support around you.

Bluelilies · 18/02/2016 16:37

I'd think carefully before saying anything. It is more likely to be the second one, and you'd be causing them both months of stress and uncertainty possibly unnecessarily. You obviously need to do a test once it's born but I'd be inclined to go along with the most likely option being what's happened and deal with the fall out if you're wrong later. And don't let either man meet or bond with the baby til you know. Find some good friends for support in the meantime.

HandsoffGary · 18/02/2016 16:47

In the UK you can't get DNA until the baby is born so carefully considerhow you approach the potential fathers. I would have a chat with your mid wife about this. Congratulations!

KayTee87 · 18/02/2016 16:47

You will need dna tests could be either. A scan can't tell you what day you got pregnant that precisely. If you're in the UK they add two weeks onto the actual gestation age of the pregnancy if that makes sense. So when I got my first scan I was dated at 12 weeks 4 days however I had actually only conceived around 10 weeks 4 days before. It's not something they explain to you at your scan so just mentioning it in case you didn't know.

Goingtobeawesome · 18/02/2016 16:49

You need to tell both of them they are potentially going to be a father.

Staying quiet is completely wrong, especially if you want to claim maintenance for the baby but more importantly as the baby has a right to know who it's genetic father is.

Boo hoo for causing the men stress . They had sex without a condom. This is what happens.

KayTee87 · 18/02/2016 16:49

Also as others have said sperm can live up to a week inside you and your egg can live a day so it's impossible to tell unless 2 partners were more than a week apart.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 18/02/2016 16:51

If first guy spunked inside the condom then put his penis in you then he could definitely have had lingering sperm on his penis or in his secretions. Second guy too could have had sperm in his secretions (pre cum) so it's safest never to put a penis inside you without a condom. You know that now

Sophie38 · 18/02/2016 16:56

This happened to me.

One guy withdrew, and the other one didn't. You can guess which it was

Scan dates are based on average measurements and with such a tiny gap between the erm, incidents of possible conception , it is not something that can be determined with any accuracy with the scan. (Just think how much babies vary in size when they are born at the same gestation).

In your position I would not be speaking about this with either of them unless I knew for certain. I told both of mine which meant 9 months of extreme stress for all concerned.

In your case I would put a lot of money on it being the second guy, ie the one who came inside you.

That's basically zero protection vs a condom, which will offer close on 98% protection and even if he did re-enter you afterwards, any sperm that might have been lingering will have been exposed to air and therefore probably dead, or non viable.

I mean there's a teeny chance, of course - but it's really, really teeny.

I wouldn't tell him at this stage - but I would probably try and have a DNA test after the baby arrives, just to be certain. You can do this without involving the first guy, by ruling out number two.

Best of luck and keep posting if you find it helpful

Pseudo341 · 18/02/2016 17:06

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy (I'm guessing you're not hearing that from a lot of people right now due to your circumstances so wanted to say it). It's obviously going to make life rather challenging compared to what you were expecting things to be like for the next few years but I'm glad to hear you've got good support. The midwife might be able to give you details of support groups where you could meet other young women in similar situations.

Scan dates aren't really that accurate. I looked into it last time I was arguing dates with an Obstetrician. Something like as much as 1 in 10 are more than 5 days out. Either guy could very easily be the father. I think it's worth mentioning something to the first guy now. By the time the baby is born and you've got DNA test results back you may find it harder to track him down. Also, if he is the father he's more likely to be supportive if you give him some notice of the possibility.

Best of luck.

Wardy1993 · 18/02/2016 17:48

Handsoffgary that's not factual information, you can get a prenatal paternity test but it can increase risk of miscarriage.

HippyChickMama · 18/02/2016 17:59

You can have non invasive prenatal paternity tests after 24 weeks Wardy1993 , expensive though.

Wardy1993 · 18/02/2016 19:18

Well whatever. I was just making it known to op that she can test before birth if she chooses.

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