Could I have got pregnant this way or unlikely?

[Sophiadiaz]

Hi
I've been very silly which has resulted in me now being 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. At first I wasn't thrilled considering I'm still in uni and don't have a partner but I'm coming to terms with it now and have great support.

The scan dates suggest that I got pregnant in between the two days I had sex so it's either over my a day or off. I fully understand the need for dna if I want a definitive answer.

I was seeing a boy and we slept together using protection on the 7th. He finished (in the condom) he then took it off and a few minutes later we had sex with out a condom for about 1-2 minutes and he didn't finish as we stopped.

I then slept with someone else on the 9th. It was unprotected and he didn't finish inside.

Scan dates say it was the 8th I got pregnant.

I haven't slept with anyone since the 9th and it is certainly just these two as didn't have sex for 3 months prior to the first one.

I have told the second guy that I'm pregnant and that it is probably (but not certainly) his. I haven't told the first guy anything and we no longer talk.

I have no feelings for either of these guys. They are both good people and I have no real preference on who the father is so this is not wishful thinking. But is it possible or likely that I became pregnant from the first man? And should I inform him?

I fell pregnant after doing the exact same thing you did with guy one.

I did t know at the time but sperm can stay in the mans urethra after ejaculation and then having sex again, even briefly, will be enough to pass it on to you. In theory the egg may already have been fertilised by the time you were with guy two so it really is 50:50.

As pp said, no way to be sure until Dna tests. You might want to consider STI tests as well in case you've contracted anything that could harm the baby with unprotected sex

There's no way to be sure without a dna test. Scan dates are not that accurate. Many people who have IVF are given a conception date by a scan that conflicts with when egg and sperm actually met in a lab!

at being quiet so as not to cause the guys stress. They had sex without a condom too! Not just the op. I find this view really sexist.

If you don't tell them, don't tell them because you don't want the stress. Don't try and protect them. You didn't get pregnant on purpose!

I think what I meant really eggs was that it could end up being much more stressful for the OP too if she tells the guys that it might be theirs and she's not sure. Either of them might be responsible for an unplanned pregnancy, but neither of them is really responsible for the fact that the OP doesn't know who the father is - and not knowing whether your going to be a parent or not is a pretty rough situation to put anyone in.

They uncertainty will mean they'll not be in a position to offer her much support (carrying a baby that might or might not be theirs), and she could just end up finding it all much more difficult than just accepting that she's on her own for now and can deal with building some sort of relationship with her DC's father once she knows who it is.

It literally could be either of them. There's no way to know with such a short gap. You should really tell both of them asap so you can all decide how to go forward. You can pay for (expensive) DNA tests before birth.

Congratulations on your pregnancy I understand it's not your ideal situation, but still a blessing. I personally think that you also tell the other man that there is a possibility that the baby could be his, although you think it's more likely to be the other man's. Although it may cause more stress now, he had his head to get around the idea now so if the baby is his, he will probably be more supportive. I wish you all the best

Sophie38 is giving wrong information / making wrong assumptions. You can easily get pg from sperm remaining on a penis, lingering under the foreskin or which had been exposed to air. You can get pg from sperm which gets in hands and then gets inside you, even a very little way.

This baby could easily be the child of either man.

However, it is 100% certain that it is YOUR baby, so congratulations and good luck.

How will you handle it if it is the child of man 1? Are you not speaking at all? Does he know you are pg? If so surely he can't help but wonder?

As many have said it could be either, I've got a 5 year old who proves that pre cum can indeed get you pregnant. Good luck with your pregnancy

If I was in your position - I would tell both potential fathers asap - particularly as you have told one of them already really you need to treat them both the same they have equal chance of being the father as other posters have already said. Treating the two men differently at this stage eg. not telling one, will only backfire further down the line in someway. It's going to be hard and a stressful time for everyone involved of course. But it's only fair for everyone to know what's going on. I would be honest and clear with both men that that there is a 50/50 chance as to who is the father and explain that the only way to know for sure is DNA testing, I also wouldn't expect either of them to become too involved until they have confirmation - I understand that you can do prenatal paternity testing but there is a small miscarriage risk with this procedure as it is considered an invasive test - again not something I'd opt for personally, I'd wait until baby arrived but of course that means months of uncertainty for everyone involved. Pro's and Con's to consider of both but ultimately it's your decision what you do. Make sure you build up a good support network IRL with friends and family who will support you no matter who the father turns out to be. Good Luck

Pre-cum can get you pregnant but it's unlikely. Obviously get a DNA to be 100% though. Good luck OP

Congratulations. I'm so pleased that you have some real life support. Have you told those supporting you about the paternity question? If so, what is their view?

I agree it could be either man- there is no point trying to attribute a % likelihood- it could be either of them, end of story.

I agree with the pp who said tell them both, as it has the potential to be a clusterfuck down the line otherwise. Imagine you were to proceed solely on the basis it is guy 2, and then dna testing comes back to say it isn’t'? You then have an additional stress, in your baby's early weeks, of breaking the news of fatherhood to guy#1- stress which you could well do without.

I know it is going to be so awkward to tell them this now, but I think you need to tell guy 1 that he may be the father, and then tell guy 2 there's a chance he may not be.

Hopefully both will be cooperative and they can provide samples and you can get the matter determined soon after the baby is born with minimum drama. If is going to be better for you to know in advance, there is non-invasive prenatal paternity testing, which is quite expensive (I have heard it quoted at around $1,000- the sample gets sent to the states)- the price tag means you wouldbe better waiting until the baby is born before testing, but if the men are that desperate to find out pre-birth, then perhaps suggest they foot the bill for that? It only involves a blood sample form you, unlike CVS or amnio, so no risk to the baby. It's not diagnostic, so not 100% accurate, but with both men cooperating you ought to be able to get a definitive result, i.e. one ruled out AND one ruled in. If only one cooperates, you can still get a result, but it will be less than 100% accurate.

Lots for you to consider. I hope it doesn't taint this experience for you too much- I know it is a shock and you are adjusting, but it would be good if you were able to enjoy this very special time