It looks like the homebirth is cancelled, so WTF do I put in hospital bag, WTF do I do if I go into labour at night, Why am I so scared plus 1000 other questions...

[LadyTophamHatt]

I know we all feel like this at this stage but TBH I'm freaking myself out with horrible things racing around my mind.

I've been convinced the PG would all go wrong right from the start and now it all seems to be coming true.

I'm absolutely petrified....and it's taken me until now to say that out loud.

I'm sick of worrying, I'm sick of listening to my self moan, I'm sick of it all.

I can't even word this post right with it sounding all disjointed. The title doesn't even scratch the surface of how shit I feel.

I'm sorry to be maoning again, it's all I ever do on here.
I'm just so miserable.

oh no....why had is it cancelled!

Why has the home birth been cancelled? I take it that it wasn't your decision to cancel.

Why is the homebirth cancelled? Sorry you're feeling so scared, I really sympathise.

WHY??????????????

hospital bag

...will find a link....

this is just so disappointing..is the big baby /shoulder dystocia thing>

deep breath, stop kicking yourself and tell us what you want to know first...

TBH I'm not fussed about it being cancelled and it's not absolutley definately cancelled just yet anyway.
I have consulatn appt next week to decide. I'm either carrying a very large baby or lots of fluid which the wantto monitor.

I just want it all over.

It's all been so staright forward with my prev PG's but I've been totally freaked out by being PG again this time, right from seeing that +ve result until now, I've just been terrified that it's all going to go wrong.

And now that this HB/consulatnt/big baby/lot of fluid stuff is happening my mind has totally gone schizo.

Hospital bag:
For baby - nappies, baby sleep suit, vest, hat, scratchmits, (bottle & milk?)

For you - pj's or loose comfortable clothing, pads, bra 50x bigger than usual for when the milk comes in, wash bag, towel, mobile or change for phone, change for parking

Nothing else is essential for the first 24 hours, and visitors always love to bring in useful items if you find you've forgotten anything.

Much sympathy

If I go into labour before the consulatnt appt I HAVE to go to the hospital.

ok..if not fussed re home birth..you need a plan re kids ...

have you a list of people you can call on?

friends, neighbours, family, any nursery nurses, emergency child care options?

maternity pads, big knickers, toiletries....

I have a school mum to call on in an emergency, just need to update her about all this but being xams and all that.....she has a young family too, etc etc.
family and other friends miles away.

What happens if the baby does get stuck?

Can I ask them to induce me next week? would they do it anyway??
I know it's not going to be pleasent but TBH I'm driving myself mad with horror stories in my head. If I can have adate when it's all going to happen it might stop me going totally doo-lally.

if baby gets stuck, there is the mcroberts manouvre which the RCOG says is the best way to deal with a shoulder dystocia and will resolve it virtually every time....legs up round your ears!

once you have had the scan and seen the consultant, you will have a better idea of where you are going with this..

is it the fear of baby getting stuck that is your main worry?

you need to sit down and explore exactly what it is you are most anxious about and then get the answers you need to make sure you know what the plan will be

My worst fear.....I can't even say it out loud to myself.

It's the worst possible outcome for any PG woman.
I can't say it, and I really can't type it.

Really the worst worst thing.

I'v never felt so scared during PG before and this fear has never concerned me before, I always looked forawrd to ahppy ending.

Sorry to be so crytpic. My head is a mess.

awww LTH huge hugs. I have been told this baby is measuring 4wks bigger so am seeing consultant on the 2nd to hopefully get an induction date for end of next week[week before I am due]. It must be hard if you are disappointed with no HB etc and also if you have gone naturally with your others..for me its different as with both ds and dd I have been induced. Just wanted to send you hugs and ask you to try to not get tooo stressed as at end of day the baby will arrive in anyway it can!! As for bags in mine I have
3 x sleepsuits/vests/socks for baby
scratch mitts
2x hat
nappies
cotton wool
pjs for me and a nightie
toiletries
book/magazines
sanitary towels
knickers by the truck load
socks
money

probably more bits I have forgotten..also have baby seat ready in car and a snowsuit and blanket in there.

Right stop it.

Stop it right now.

You are fine, the baby is fine, it will find it's way into this world, whether at home or in hospital.

I know that this PG has been harder than the rest but you have had a normal PG up to now haven't you?

We are all here for you, but it is not called labour for nothing, it is tiring and you need to conserve your energy.

Sorry if I sound harsh, I don't mean to.

also wanted to add I think while the internet is fab for support it also opens you up to a lot more horrors re births etc..the thing to remember is the reason we get so shocked is because in the grand scheme those things we dont want to think about dont occur as often it just is more at a forefront with being more exposed via sites like this..does that make sense??? I do know how you feel as also fret over things going wrong and wont rest until baby is here and even then probably not due to other things.

The chance of that is very very low LTH. I know it's pregnancy hormones etc but you are worrying about something that hasn't happened sweetie. I had a big (9lb 8oz) baby at home and I'm pretty sure she was stuck as they yanked my legs up and said 'you've got to get this baby out NOW' - which I did! So even a stuck baby will come out and this is your FOURTH, remember that, it'll shoot out most likely

And if hospital is where you'd feel calmest then go there. Can you speak to a midwife today? I expect there's someone there if you want reassurance.

It's normal to get jittery, although I don't know what it's like to be on no 4. Just look forward to that gorgeous little baby at the end of it xx

oh dear! am sending big hugs and comforting thought and stuff... which of course will do you no good at all.

i think i get the drift of the 'worst thing' fear... - please try not to dwell on that...

consultant appt is next week - how many wks are you?

Sorry just read that back and it is a bit harsh.

You will be fine.

((((Hugs))))))))))

Don't that too often, so be impressed.

Oh, Lth, I really think that as you have more children, then the list of what could go wrong gets longer and longer.
My friend is due in 2 weeks with her 3rd and is so scared too. She keeps worrying about the labour, the fact she is huge, and I mean Huge, and what will happen with her other boys.
Whilst it is normal to worry, maybe there are other things that you're worried about that are causing you to be so worried.
And you need to rest and to relax - I know that's hard, but you need to. For your own sake, nevermind anyone eklse.

LTH-- you have that fear....we all get it.....and it is normal ....but you need to concentrate on the positives and not the worst case and very rare possibility....

how many weeks are you now? you often get heightened fear and anxiety as labour becomes imminent....

it is bringing life into the world, of course the worst will cross your mind..but you have no reason to think it

don;t know why this pregnancy has been harder for you than others...but you are on the home stretch now..your other 3 DCs are here and ok,.,number 4 will be too....

Nemo, I'm 38+2wks.

I know how irrational the "worst fear" thing is because the tiny sane part of my brain that is left tells me it's all irrational.
I have no reason at all to think it and althoigh I love MN I know its because of stuff I read on here that I think it IYSWIM.

I've been worrying that because I worry about it so much it's going to make something go wrong and now with all this consulatnt stuff it's like it's all coming true.
That tiny sane bit of my brain tells me that ridiculous but the rest of it just thinks it anyway.

See what I mean? LTH and her fucked up head.

(BTW I do feel honoured sherlock)

no no no, the way to think about the consultant stuff is that steps are being taken to cover bases and make sure all the worst case stuff doesnt happen...

You have that fear because you know how much you love your other children and you want this one to be okay as well, imo. Before we become parents we can't begin to imagine what it would be like to lose them, so what you're feeling now is the flipside of knowing how joyful being a mother is.

The likelihood of your fear being realised is incredibly remote. Incredibly.