It looks like the homebirth is cancelled, so WTF do I put in hospital bag, WTF do I do if I go into labour at night, Why am I so scared plus 1000 other questions...

[LadyTophamHatt]

I know we all feel like this at this stage but TBH I'm freaking myself out with horrible things racing around my mind.

I've been convinced the PG would all go wrong right from the start and now it all seems to be coming true.

I'm absolutely petrified....and it's taken me until now to say that out loud.

I'm sick of worrying, I'm sick of listening to my self moan, I'm sick of it all.

I can't even word this post right with it sounding all disjointed. The title doesn't even scratch the surface of how shit I feel.

I'm sorry to be maoning again, it's all I ever do on here.
I'm just so miserable.

Sorry girls, just seem this one again as I was switching off the PC.
Had a rough day, feel like shite, aches and pains all over and knackered. Feeling ill rather than freaked out (for once!)
Could really do with a bloody good night sleep but thats not going to happen is it??

I'll probably end up in labour tonight when I really haven't got the energy to face it.

Will come back tomorrow.

Afternoon ladies.

Thanks for your posts rhurarb, I've only skimmed through them so far as I'm feeling rough as f*ck and just want to recline on the sofa all day. I'll read them and your site properly when I have the energy to sit up straight!!!

I have no sort of said those "worst fear" word out loud. We actually got a reasonable lie in this morning because I threatened the kids with their lives if they woke me/us up early again (Ok...not quite their lives but it worked so thats cool!!). I told DH that was feeling quite nervous about it all this time. About the pain, the logisics of getting to the hospital if I need too...just the whole thing.
I said I've got this mad irrational fear that I can't say out loud or type on here, he asked what it was and I said "Just the worst possible outcome....we've got all this stuff ready, we're prepared...but what if I have to come home without a baby"

( said out loud and typed it now)

He's very much a glass half full person and I'm a half empty (had you noticed??) so he pointed out how I always look at thing from a pessimist POV. The worst will always happen in my eyes when of course I doesn't.
He's really excited about this one arriving and even said a few sweet, gushy things about a newborn on telly last night so I'm going to ride along with him and his excitment for these last few days.
He does keep saying "Ohh it won't be long now" which it won't but being a man he doesn't know thats the worst thing to say to a heavily PG woman. I have managed not to hit him when it says it so he's very lucky.

He's taken the Boys over the park ATM. Ds2 got a football and football boots for Xmas so no doubt they'll all come home caked in mud. Thats fine when I have a functioning washing machine but not so good when it's dead in the corner of my kitchen

Anyway, teh sofa is calling me, the baby is doing backflips and I need the loo again. Thansk for al thinking of me.

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good luck hun xx

Just re-read this after being away for the weekend. I hope you have had some rest and are feeling better. Have been thinking about you as I could so empathise with your comments when you first posted. Good Luck. I really think what you have typed are quite normal feelings for a heavily pregnant, tired, hormonal woman especially when you explain the shick you have had about the whole pregnancy. He will be here soon and you will feel SOOOO much better. Take care.

Umm shock not shick.

How are you?

Hi Rhurarb, I'm feeling good today. I had my hospitall appt today. The HB is deffo off which I ok about.
Have to think about the logistics of getting there if DH is at work so thats my new worry.

I'm sure it'll all work out ok and if he's not here I 'll just have to call an ambulance and have the baby at home as an unplanned HB, like I did ds2.

Consultant tried to do a strecth and sweep today but couldn't reach my cervix even though it felt like he had his whole arm up there.
I told Dh he should be proud because he can reach parts with his wanger that no doctor can reach

Just have to sit and wait now.
Anlysising every single little pain is boring!

Try not to worry. You'll probably have plenty of time to get yourself to the hospital and dh will have lots of time to join you.

I do remember one midwife telling me the story of a woman 10cm dilated who refused to give birth until her dh arrived. She did manage to hang on until he came rushing through the doors half an hour later, then she gave one almighty push and the baby shot out!

Do lots of walking about and keeping yourself busy. Get busy preparing meals now in advance and freezing them to make life after the birth a little easier. Anything to keep your mind off things.

Good luck!

You still ok?