Mums-to-be (2)

[Enid]

Joe1, Tetley, Ouch and the other October Mums to be, how are you all?

Joe1 - well done on winning the baby carrier!!

Boo Hoo, still here!

Hi Everyone

I'm so sorry Dixie that you're having a tough time at the moment. It sounds awful having to go to the hospital every day. I hope you don't have to travel too far.

My pregnancy has been fairly normal so far. I'm 20 weeks now and the worst symptoms I've been getting are absolutely hideous headaches and mild heart palpitations. I went to see the doctor last week and though my blood pressure was normal she still advised having it tested every week as there is a history of high b.p. on my mother's side. She suggested that it could have been stress related caused by my starting a new job and having a toddler to look after as well. I said that emotionally I didn't feel stressed but she mentioned it could be sub-conscious and mainfesting itself in physical symptoms like the headaches and mild panic attacks. Her advice? Get as much rest as possible! Hah! I said I was worried about taking paracetomol every time I have one of the headaches but she not to worry about it and if I need to take them I should. So I am.

Had my 20 week scan yesterday which was a damp squib of an event. I was quite excited about it but dp woke up in a bad mood which made me miserable. Ds couldn't give a toss about the picture of 'little baby brother or sister on the t.v.' and just wanted to run off and the ultrasound operator was a miserable cow who kept ordering me to move around so that she didn't have to put her back out! I felt pretty crap by the end of it all and wished that I hadn't gone. Thankfully the main thing was that the baby is ok. Have to admit to a few tears on the way to work but got a sweet email from dp apologising for his bad mood and a bunch of flowers from him after work. So he's not too bad after all!

Anyway, halfway through. Only another 20 weeks to go

Debster have you found the half way mark comes around really fast? I too dont like taking medication while pregnant not even a paracetamol but if a headache wont go away I have to.
I have been instructed to slow things down and rest when possible, which for someone who normally rushes around all day it has been quite hard but I have started to get into a different routine. It is hard to rest when you feel so many other things need to be done. This weekend we said sod it to the house and had a day out saturday and a day lounging around on sunday, I caught up with some housework yesterday. Even if you can get out for a day over the weekend it will feel like a rest.

Debster, hope you're feeling a bit more cheerful - the main thing is that you know the baby is OK, it's just a shame that the scan wasn't more of a special occasion. On the 'get more rest' front, why do these people persist in saying this? Have they no idea that with a toddler in tow it is virtually impossible? I found that however much dh did, there were a lot of things that ds would only accept Mummy doing, pregnant or not, so I just had to get on with it. It used to really annoy me when people told me I should be putting my feet up - I knew that, didn't they think I would be if I could? And then I would remember the days of my first pregnancy when I could get home from work and just collapse on the sofa...why did I never realize how lucky I was at the time ?

Debster I sympathise. I am also 20 weeks now and relieved the first bit is over, I've definitely started to feel better. Still feeling sick occasionally and I still can't stand the smell of my dishwasher!

My 20 week scan was also fine, I went alone as dp doesn't do well at hospitals and finds scans a bit weird. He looked at the picture when I got back and said 'God, it looks like Alien.' I reminded him that he said exactly the same thing at our beautiful dd's 20 week scan.

I have been having acupuncture to help with a bad back and a few other things, its quite expensive but I have found it invaluable. Surprising how relaxing it is having someone put needles into you!!

Remember you have got a beautiful baby inside who will love you very much, so try not to feel too down about your miserable day.

x

Demented...it's only early....anything could happen this afternoon (fingers crossed)

I too remember my half way mark and I thought it all came round really quickly this time round, in fact if I'm totally honest I think this whole pregnancy has gone quite quickly..I think it's because I (like many of you) have a toddler to occupy my time so much this time round.....totally agree about the 'how can you get rest under these circumstances opinions'.

oh my god....I've totally lost my train of thought..can not remember what I was going to write AT ALL..........NOPE IT'S GONE....back later if I remember (& am still here)

Keep well everyone.....

Yes, enid i think husband's are better off kept away from scans. My husband went around showing off the 12 week scan photo of our son to everybody bragging about his son's enormous penis until his 12 year old daughter pointed out to him that in fact it was the umbilical cord. This time around when I had the amnio scan the technician showed us the vagina (to prove it was a girl) and my husband made some lewd comments about not recognizing it as he was used to much larger ones. This has all be peppered with alien jokes. All very embarrassing. I did my 20 week scan without him.
Have you tried pregnancy yoga for the bad back. I did it once or twice a week first time around and had no back problems at all. This time i'm working full time and have only managed to fit in a few sessions and my back is killing me.

Thanks for all the replies guys. I love this site you can have a good old moan and someone will always write something to make you feel better

I had a talk with dp last night about the labour etc. We agreed that we would sit down and discuss what I wanted out of him. Last time I was induced (horrible experience and another story) and had an epidural which meant that I felt that I didn't participate at all in the birth of my ds and neither really did my dp. We both felt as though the whole event had been taken over by machines and staff. This time I have decided to go for a home birth. I just know I will feel more relaxed knowing I can have a drink or food or watch telly or have a bath or do anything I want to. However, this means we don't have a clue about what labour is really like. Anyway, my questions are: Did any of you actually sit down and write a birth plan? Did it get used? Do the midwives take any notice?

Debster, I wrote a birth plan, very simple things like I didnt want drugs, baby to go straight to my tummy, breast feeding and really anything you want or dont want done, however small. My midwife at the birth did take notice and they will follow it obviously if no problems. I also added that dh knew all my thoughts and if at any time I was not capable of making a decision he would make it for me.

Well, I'm still here...My consultant is such a lovely women...she's so laid back & calm about things I knew she'd feel like me.....She is prepared for me to carry on & wait till 38 weeks as we'd orginally planned she said there is no need to panic yet just to be careful! She said the blood tests & blood pressure are something to keep an eye on but not to rush into panic mode about. She did however say I might like to opt for a planned 'c'section..she said I don't have to..there's nothing so out of the ordinary to make it the only option but there are so many small factors to consider that I may find it better to go that way....I agreed but am now wondering if I did the right thing.....so that's me for now...

how's everyone else, DEMENTED seems quiet, hope that's a good sign that she's 'doing her thing'.

We had a birth plan too with ds, similar to Joe1 and yes our midwife took notice of it all, even when rushed for emergency 'c section' she follwed my instructions for after the baby was born...she was wonderful!

Dixie glad you are still here, it does help having a really nice professional that isnt making you panic, just watching. Im sure you can change your mind about the c-section, cant you? So do you have to have a trip to the hospital today or are you down on your trips now.

Fingers crossed for demented.

Glad to hear you are still here too Dixie, sounds like things are settling down a little, have you got long to go to 38 wks?

Unfortunately I am still here starting to get too fed-up to post on Mumsnet (it must be bad). I think I am on the verge of starting one of these help how can I get this baby out of here threads!!!

Debster, with DS1 I didn't write a birth plan, I wasn't very sure what to write. This time however the Hospital enclosed a pre-printed form with the hand-held notes basically asking the mum-to-be what she wished to happen with all the things that are important from their perspective, with an area for you to write any specific requests, this time round I have filled this in.

I think I got my birth plan idea for layout and what to include from one of those free books you get when you are pregnant, not sure if it was that whats her names diary.

Debster, I'm 39 wks + 2 days, and until last week hadn't written a birth plan. However the midwife actually prompted me on what she thought was most important, and added wrote the comments on my notes at my appt on Friday. It included: pain relief, agreement to Vit K and syntometrine, no students present, and that I want to stay in as long as possible! She also wrote I'd like to take labour as it comes and make decisions as necessary on the day. Hope this is of some use.

Just to change the subject, can anyone help with a query re car seats? I fitted the M&P primo viagio (?) car seat into the back of my 2 door fiesta last night for the first time, and getting the seat in and out is a bit of nightmare. It's only just squeezing between the collapsed passenger seat and the back of the car, so it looks like I might have to have it in the front seat. I didn't really want the baby in the front as I'm not a v confident driver at the best of times and thought I could do without the extra distraction, but don't think its going to work in the back. Anyway, the point is I have a drivers airbag but not a passenger airbag, so would this be ok? Thanks v much

As long as there is no passenger air bag you'll be fine! I had ds in the front with me until he got to the forward facing weight. Even on family trips out....dh was regulated to the back seat. It was comforting being able to see ds was ok!

Oooops...forgot to add, thanks all for your coments & concerns, no appointment today but back on Friday unless I get any other symptoms (dizziness, swelling, visual disturbance, headaches etc etc) must admit I do keep getting headaches but it's knowing when is a headache something to worry about, don't want to ring the hospital EVERY time as they will time me to come down & be checked and I'm there often enough already! I can also see the consultants point of view regarding the 'c section' as I do have a considerable amount of "little" things not in my favour. I think I'm worrying because it's so planned! Last time I was in labour etc etc, told you've got to go for an emergency c-section & was of down to theatre pretty much straight away but this time round I've got my date & 3 weeks to think about it!!

Am I the only one who looses there mind & memory when pregnant.....Also meant to say sorry you're still here demented as it means it's not happening yet but great to have you around for chatting type stuff!!

No dixie, I am convinced I donated part of my brain to ds when he was born and have next to no memory at all, what will happen to me after No2

Hope the next three weeks don't drag too much for you Dixie.

Thanks for the advice Dixie - I think I will put the car seat in the front.

Also, I'd like to say thank you so much to everyone on mumsnet who's offered me advice, support and reasurance over the last 9 months. During this time I've moved house - to a completely new area where I still don't know anyone and am 200 miles away from my parents, moved offices, and my mother in law has died. Its really helped me, knowing there's someone out there who will answer even my most pathetic questions, and listen to me when I panic! Thanks ladies!

MMB, wanted to add my cent's worth on this one as did used to lobby on car safety.

Your child is safer in the back seat but you are entitled to put your child wherever you wish. Being able to see your child doesn't make you a better driver. I admit to putting ds in the front of my 2 door Nissan on quite a few occasions but felt rather a poor mother when I did.

On the note of safety, it's worth remembering that new parents are often sleep deprived and sleep deprived people make dangerous drivers.

Anyhow, don't know where to lay my hands on the research on this and have had a long day and missed out on my midday nap. Getting rather essential again at 30 plus weeks (just aswell I didn't have to drive today).

How is everybody doing? Dixie how is the blood pressure? No need to ask if Demented is still with us she is cuddling her new ds.

I have really slowed down my pace of life and am feeling alot better, hardly any dizzy spells at all, just feel abit light headed the minute I need to rush around. 23 weeks this week so time really passing by now and not as big as I was with ds, although I think I put on alot more weight all over with him. Just going through my tomato stage, this time it is tomatoes with cheese, with ds tomatoes and pickled onions, trouble is tomatoes make my lips sore and it looks like Im getting a cold sore, so will have to try and stop eating them, or eating as many. Ds has got a stinking cold so not getting much sleep.

Hope everyone is ok.

Hi Joe1 et al.

I'm feeling ok although I'm still getting the headaches every now and then. Currently 21 weeks and about the size of a beached whale! Have made the decison to stop work at 37 weeks. This is not ideal but as it looks like I will only be eligible for state benefits this is the earliest I can leave work for financial reasons. It's really frustrating, all the pregnancy books say that medical opinion agrees that you should stop work around the 32nd week but when you're only allowed 18 weeks leave do they really expect you to go back to work when your baby is 10 week old?! That's if you give birth on time any way. Oooh it makes me mad.

Sorry to go off on one there.

Debster, I agree with you, I dont think there is enough time given. I know in some professions you can have a career break, not sure how the pay works with this, but most people I know have taken about a year break. With ds, because I had a team leader that was making life very stressful, in fact everybody on the management side was, I decided to leave as soon as I could. Obviously money was then a worry, although we did have some savings that would carry us through for a few months. This time it is not an issue as I have just started working for myself and do things at my own pace.

Be careful you dont worry about it and make the headaches worse.

I am feeling pretty good, starting to bloom. Acupuncture has worked wonders for my backache and I haven't had a headache since I started the treatment. I am currently 22 weeks and starting to look forward to it...Dd is being a little treasure this week after being the child from the hell dimension last week, so trying to enjoy it all while it lasts..!

Can't work out whether I am bigger or smaller than last time, bigger I think, certainly the baby measures bigger than dd did so far.