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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

regret sex scan

49 replies

PurplePoppy17 · 19/10/2015 13:06

Did anyone regret that they got a sex scan? Does it make the last half of pregnancy drag out? Ruin the surprise at the end? Feel like you knew everything too soon? I'm happy if I'm having boy or girl I'm just now sure if I'm 100% to finding out Incase I get really impatient ect.

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CultureSucksDownWords · 19/10/2015 13:11

I found out the sex at my scheduled 20 week anomaly scan. It didn't bother me at all, no regrets about asking to be told the sex. In my view, it doesn't ruin the surprise at the end, as the surprise at the end is having a new baby! An entirely new human being to learn about. The fact that I knew what sex my baby was didn't alter that.

mintbiscuit · 19/10/2015 13:16

I didn't find out for my first dc (ds1) but I did for ds2 and dd. I actually felt like I bonded more with baby during pregnancy knowing the sex. It also helped with coming up with names as dh and I struggled to agree on a lot!

5madthings · 19/10/2015 13:17

I have done it both ways,first three were a surprise, we found out for no 4 and then weren't going to find out for no 5 but at the scan the sonographer said they had a really clear view of the Sex... So we did find out and a part of me wishes we hadn't found out.

Now 16 wks with no 6 and we are not going to find out this time.

It's one of life's true suprises and there aren't many. Having done it both ways I say gp for the surprise, esp if you have doubts. The moment you meet your baby is amazing either way.

FeelsLikeHome123 · 19/10/2015 13:19

We found out on both but didn't tell anyone else. We still picked out names for both a boy and a girl on the off chance that they got it wrong during the scan(know of a couple of women who were told the wrong gender and got a surprise at the birth). We were happy to know but didn't buy a specific colour until our dc were born.

ProbablyMe · 19/10/2015 13:20

I found out with my 4 DS's and will find out with this one too. I never regretted it, it meant I could give my bump a name and - for me - I think it really helped me bond even more. I know lots of people who waited though and loved the suspense.

Tootsiepops · 19/10/2015 13:20

We found out at 12 weeks by way of the harmony test. Having a boy or a girl isn't really that much of a surprise to us (maybe we are cynical and jaded?) - having a kitten pop out, now THAT would be a surprise

ProfessorPickles · 19/10/2015 13:20

I agree about having more of a bond after knowing the sex of my baby. I didn't mind what gender my baby would be but finding out meant I could think about them more and wonder what they'd be like in more depth. I enjoyed knowing the gender

ProfessorPickles · 19/10/2015 13:21

I think I would love a surprise next time though, but I'll probably find out again!

lornathewizzard · 19/10/2015 13:25

I'm glad we found out with DD, but then I'm an impatient bugger. It did feel nice to be able to refer to her as her IYKWIM, and it made discussing names easier (not that we decided until after she was born!).

RainbowFlutterby · 19/10/2015 13:28

Could you take a piece of paper and an envelope and ask the sonographer to write it down and seal it in the envelope? You can decide if you want to know at your leisure then.

They may say no, but it can't hurt to ask.

SoupDragon · 19/10/2015 13:34

I found that knowing and not knowing made no difference whatsoever to the joy and surprise of my DCs birth or to my bonding. I've had three experiences - not finding out with DS1, finding out by accident at a late growth scan with DS2 and finding out at 20 weeks by choice with DD.

FlopIsMyParentingGuru · 19/10/2015 13:36

Love having found out with both DC made it all seen more real more personal and helped is bond

Ihatechoosingnames · 19/10/2015 13:43

With my first baby I found out the sex at 16 weeks. I don't like surprises anyway! It didn't ruin any of the magic of having him. I knew the sex I was getting but I didn't know his personality til he was born IYSWIM?

I'm having a girl this time, found out at 21 weeks. I'm so excited to meet her on Friday that I can't sleep

ValancyJane · 19/10/2015 13:50

We found out the sex at the 20 week scan, and both of us felt it helped us bond a bit with her (though to be fair, the 20 week scan was in so much detail that it did too). It kind of made her more of a little person in our eyes! DP is not normally over sentimental, but he said it made him feel much closer to her knowing that we were having a daughter. I'm glad we found out!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 19/10/2015 13:54

I am glad I didn't find out. I didn't feel less bonded by I did find the moment after they were born and I was told lovely. I am also weird and feel really uncomfortable people knowing too much about my pregnancies. I like the privacy between me and the baby.

MargaretCabbage · 19/10/2015 13:58

I kept it a surprise. I thought finding out when the baby was born would be really exciting and magical, but I was so high on gas and air when they told me he was a boy I really didn't care!

I will probably find out if we have another one, but keep it secret from everyone else.

PacificMouse · 19/10/2015 14:00

I found out the sex for dc2. I was absolutely convinced it was a girl (No idea why and I didn't particularly want a girl either).
The scan showed that it was a boy and I was really really disappointed (More because I had started to build up an image of that baby as a girl iyswim)

The good point though is that I got time to get my head around it. If I had discovered that dc2 was a boy after spending the whole pregnancy convinced it will be a girl, I think I would have taken a hell of a long time to adjust to it.

On the other side, we didn't know the sex for dc1 and would have been delighted either way. I dont think that knowing would have made a difference then.

Qwertybynature · 19/10/2015 14:13

I'm having the same dilemma as you OP. I didn't find out with my first although I'd convinced myself I was having a girl. It was a bit of a (nice) shock being handed a boy. I think I'd like to know with this so I can prepare a bit more (I won't buy gendered clothes either, JIC) and I think might help ds.

I love that idea Rainbowflutterby I might ask ours if they'll do that.

Original poster

PurplePoppy17 · 19/10/2015 14:30

I'm liking how some of you are saying that it helped you bobs more with the baby, I think it would help my OH too.

I'm swaying more towards finding out now after reading the replies as I'm just getting so excited. Although I'm with those who still don't buy gender clothes until it's born... Just Incase. You never know what could happen really.

Thanks for everyone's replies . You've all really helped!! X

OP posts:

Ihatechoosingnames · 19/10/2015 14:38

Yes, with both my pregnancies although I found out the sex I didn't buy too many gender specific clothes, just in case!

Don't forget, there is no rush to find out. You could wait and see how you feel later on and have a private scan to find out?

Twoseventhsaweasley · 19/10/2015 14:38

I did not find out with either of my two. I did not mind whether or not we found out, and DH felt very strongly that we should wait until the baby was born.

Like Pacific I was certain throughout my second pregnancy that I was having a girl. When DS2 was born I just thought he was so amazing. I could not believe that I could ever have expected him to be anyone else.

I was very glad both times that we waited.

Also, I had several long and, detailed scans including 3D with DS2 in fetal medicine and we never needed to look away, and we never saw anything that even hinted at the sex.

Good luck with your pregnancy and birth. I found that Decisions like this felt so big and important when I was pregnant, and none of it mattered once my babies arrived.

shitebag · 19/10/2015 14:53

I didn't find out with either of mine and I'm glad we didn't because their Dad loved the fact that he was the first person to be able to tell me whether we had a son or daughter :)

I did want to find out with my first but the policy in our area doesn't allow the hospital to reveal the sex and we couldn't justify £200 for a private scan that was unnecessary.

Most of my friends have chosen to find out and I can't say that I've noticed that they have a stronger bond with their babies than we have with ours.

ChilliMum · 19/10/2015 14:56

I found out and am very glad. Complications following birth of both dc meant that I at least got to share the news myself with my family at a time I was well enough to enjoy.
also the big surprise is surely meeting your baby the shape of their face nose and colour of eye's, seeing the first signs of their little personality. Once they are here the sex is probably the least important bit.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 19/10/2015 15:02

We did it differently each time: didn't find out with dc1; found out with dc2 but didn't tell anyone else until he was born; found out with dc3 and shared the news with close family and friends.

You either get a nice surprise at 20 weeks or at 40 weeks, I think. Meeting your baby is wonderful whichever way you do it.

With dc3 particularly, I was having a tough time of it with the pregnancy and finding out at 20 weeks gave me a real boost. I enjoyed being able to tell my eldest that he was having a new baby brother too - made it more real for him.

I also liked the fact with dc2 especially that knowing was something unique and special to that pregnancy.

I'm sure it'll be lovely whatever you decide

Bumpsadaisie · 19/10/2015 15:04

Its a pretty big surprise at the end even if you know the sex, . In fact one of the biggest surprises of your life ....

The last bit of the pregnancy does drag but not cos you know the sex but rather because you are knackered, your core muscles are shot to pieces and you feel like you are carrying a watermelon around your hips and in your bottom for weeks on end

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