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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Everybody lies about pregnancy!

48 replies

macdat · 16/10/2015 19:34

What are some things you found out during pregnancy that nobody tells you about?

Before you ever get pregnant, people make it sound like it's all sugar and flowers. They dont tell you about weird stuff like itchy nipples, weird discharge, vivid dreams and all the weird things that go on with your body. When you're sick in the first trimester, they lie and say you'll feel better at 12 weeks.
And i was horrified when I realised you have to also push out a placenta after all the hard work of labour haha
And I found out your hair thins a few months after the birth?!
I know so many mothers, I'm fab with babies and kids, but clueless about the truth of pregnancy.

So second, third, fourth time mothers, enlighten us first timers. I want to know the truth about what to expect, not just "oh it's so wonderful when you finally hold your baby" or about the so called pregnancy glow.

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IndomitabIe · 16/10/2015 19:37

Being handed a baby is weird. And then they leave you with it unsupervised and you're supposed to know what to do.

Sometimes that "rush of love" doesn't materialise, (though you later realise you love it anyway!)

Pregnancy isn't always as heinous as your first experience. I can't believe it's possible to feel so good and be pregnant jinxed it

Jeffreythegiraffe · 16/10/2015 19:38

It does vary, there's no one way of feeling or doing things.

I was surprised at how swollen I was down below, I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even feel to wee, so I didn't and had to stay in hospital!

LumpySpaceCow · 16/10/2015 19:41

Each person and pregnancy is different. The only difficult things I have found in mine are pelvic and back ache towards the end and tiredness. Other than that I felt as normal as I ever was!
Btw, you hair only thins because you get extra hair in pregnancy...you will not go bald!

TheOriginalWinkly · 16/10/2015 19:42

Everyone experiences differently. My friend had a dream pregnancy - no sickness, neat bump, shiny hair and glowy skin. Her baby obligingly arrived 9 days early just as she was getting a bit fed up. I, however, felt like shit the whole time; I was sick and only wanted to eat cheese and onion crisps for weeks, exhausted, dry skin, insomnia, anxiety, heartburn, SPD, and oh so fucking HOT all the time. Having a newborn was a piece of piss in comparison :)

TheOriginalWinkly · 16/10/2015 19:43

Oh and DD went 8 days over and I was so swollen I could only wear flip flops for the last 2 months.

Impatientwino · 16/10/2015 19:43

When you're finally left alone with your beautiful baby and he's silently asleep in the little goldfish bowl crib thing do not ignore the midwife when she says get some rest and then sit and stare and wonder at the marvel of life you have just brought into the world for hours. Just as you decide to get some sleep the little marvel will have then had enough sleep and wake up and want to feed for the next four hours

dlwelly · 16/10/2015 19:51

The pushing part is not how it is one one born every minute (I.e. A 60 second segment of labour that gives you a baby after a few pushes). 4 hours later...

AuntieStella · 16/10/2015 20:00

Piles.

MrsB1988 · 16/10/2015 20:00

Funny one I found that no one told me...after ds was born still had really bad pains I said to the midwife "when is the afterbirth going to come?" She laughed and said its been and gone about ten mins ago...."why do I still feel like I'm in labour then?"....oh they are after pains they get worse and last longer with each child. anyone waiting baby number two though....I survived nothing to be scared of. Which reminds me a friend said to me did you have your waters broken?...yeah...was it horrendous? I've got a mate who said it was absolute agony blah blah....no honestly I didn't even feel it....I was in too much pain with the contractions to notice! Any ladies pregnant for the first time our bodies are designed for childbirth it's not the most pleasant experience but you will feel amazing at the end of it. I read a book called the good birth companion I found it really helped calm nerves...but only if your a booky want to know every detail about everything type.

Lj8893 · 16/10/2015 20:04

My bum was so sore after childbirth. I think it was from tensing it for so long during contractions, and then pushing down into it when pushing dd out. Took about 12 hours for my bum to stop aching.

PosterEh · 16/10/2015 20:07

My placenta sort of flopped out, didn't really have to push it.

I was lucky that with both of mine the pushing side was like "one born". Dd flew out in one push (I'm going to be honest and say that a baby exiting at lightspeed can also have its downsides though...).

MrsBartlettforthewin · 16/10/2015 20:11

That your fingers get fat! I did not know this until I couldn't get my rings off during my first pregnancy, now I wear them on a chain.

The indigestion and the heart burn after you eat anything.

How undignified it is being check by the midwife during labour and afterwards.

Other than that it's pretty awesome

ThreeFrazzledFandangos · 16/10/2015 20:16

you don't push out the placenta do you? I had the injection and don't remember having to do much.

Although once they gave me the baby I didn't really focus much on anything else.

Lj8893 · 16/10/2015 20:27

I had the injection but still had to kind of push the placenta out, with the midwife pushing and rubbing my tummy to encourage it out. It was actually very uncomfortable and painful!

Dixiechick17 · 16/10/2015 20:29

Didn't have the urge to pee for about three months after giving birth, had to make myself go, but would sometimes be eight hours before I remembered.

Swollen bits, legs and ankles swollen up to the size of tree trunks no matter how much water you drink or rest you get.

Changing underwear twice, sometimes three times a day.

Constipation... No one warned me how bad that would be.

How big your boobs will be once the milk comes in!!!! Felt like Dolly Parton for a few weeks until they calmed down.

Cluster feeding for hours.. .

Sorry most of mine are post pregnancy.

I had to push the placenta out, despite having the injection... In fact I pushed and the midwife pulled... Joint effort...

That no matter how many pillows you have in your bed you will never be comfortable and the chances of a full nights sleep are slim to non.

Towards the end you may need help sitting up in bed if the baby likes laying in your ribs.

Dixiechick17 · 16/10/2015 20:30

Oh and leg cramps every night!

Champagneformyrealfriends · 16/10/2015 20:47

"Don't worry Champagne, you'll feel great after the first twelve weeks. Full of energy!" LIARS! All of them.

cherrylola · 16/10/2015 20:58

Discharge, bloody loads of it sometimes
Heartburn and acid, especially in the middle of yoga.
Restless legs keeping you awake at night.
INSOMNIA
Piles.
A really hairy tummy.
Swollen feet.
Great hair until 30 weeks then blurgh, lank and thin.
Baby kicks and twists can be bloody uncomfortable, on the verge of painful at times!

SmashleyHop · 16/10/2015 21:00

That if you use enough lotion/ baby oil/ stretch mark cream you can keep yourself from getting stretch marks.... Liars!! You either get it or you don't.. It's pretty much down to how elastic your skin is.

That you may shit in front of people. Nobody told me that as I had my first. I think I cried from embarrassment for 10 minutes after.

SparklyTinselTits · 16/10/2015 21:04

My cousin is one of those people who you just know she was born to be a mother, and she is amazing at it. She glows with every pregnancy and relished in it....so that was what I expected.
Yeah.....right.
I hated every second of being pregnant. I was sick for almost the entire duration, my skin looked like the surface of the moon, my feet swelled to the point where the only thing that got were my gym trainers. My midwife kept telling me "you're going to be one of those people that finds being pregnant worse than actually giving birth" and boy was she right.

3littlebadgers · 16/10/2015 21:06

That despite what the books say, stillbirth is not rare. When I lost my little girl earlier this year so many of the hospital staff told me, I guess to make me feel better, 'it is more common than you think.' My daughter was born on the 12th of the month there were three, in my hospital alone, before me that month. I was low risk, she was perfectly fine, as was the placenta and cord. They found no reason. I wish I knew how common it was before I went through it, maybe I would have picked up on it sooner or not felt like such a failure after.

cherrylola · 16/10/2015 21:08

Oh, and i forgot about the bookers vivid dreams!!

HixieRice · 16/10/2015 21:11

That I would suddenly have far more saliva than I needed
That my ankles would swell up so much I was scared they would burst!
That I would feel 'normal' for a fraction of a second upon waking up every morning, and then feel like shit again for seven and a half months! (the first month was even worse)

Jeffreythegiraffe · 16/10/2015 21:23

The constipation after birth was horrific.

Original poster

macdat · 16/10/2015 21:39

Really interesting stuff! Thanks ladies. This is all giving me a much more realistic view. I don't feel so terrible for not loving every second of being pregnant now, the way you're "supposed" to.

3littlebadgers I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I was just saying to somebody today that I think it's quite bad they don't really warn women of such things. I know nobody wants to scare a pregnant lady, but it's something that should be spoken about. There was nothing you could have done though, even if you knew about how common it was, you wouldn't have expected it especially so late on. I hope you're not still feeling bad or like you failed? There is no way you should ever feel like a failure x

hixierice so that's why I have so much saliva now?! I really didn't know it was connected haha. That's so strange.

Jeffrey ahh, no wonder. Recently my friend gave me some sort of drink sachets for constipation. I was confused, but she just said "you'll need it soon"

Pregnancy and birth does really weird things.

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