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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Everybody lies about pregnancy!

48 replies

macdat · 16/10/2015 19:34

What are some things you found out during pregnancy that nobody tells you about?

Before you ever get pregnant, people make it sound like it's all sugar and flowers. They dont tell you about weird stuff like itchy nipples, weird discharge, vivid dreams and all the weird things that go on with your body. When you're sick in the first trimester, they lie and say you'll feel better at 12 weeks.
And i was horrified when I realised you have to also push out a placenta after all the hard work of labour haha
And I found out your hair thins a few months after the birth?!
I know so many mothers, I'm fab with babies and kids, but clueless about the truth of pregnancy.

So second, third, fourth time mothers, enlighten us first timers. I want to know the truth about what to expect, not just "oh it's so wonderful when you finally hold your baby" or about the so called pregnancy glow.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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NHKX2 · 17/10/2015 13:57

I wasn't prepared for peeing myself a bit every time I sneezed. I guess I figured this would be a problem very late in pregnancy, but starting at 20 weeks??!!

outputgap · 17/10/2015 14:08

Ear wax. Piles of the stuff. Blocked ears that required multiple syringing as a result in both pregnancies.

ohidoliketobe · 17/10/2015 14:15

2 things: Haemorrhoids and post partum haemorrhage.
The two combined made mu fist week of being a new mum absolutely dreadful. I have a high pain threshold, thought quite a few times during labour this isn't as bad as I was expecting, but I sobbed in pain for 5 days solid afterwards

MrsPeel1 · 17/10/2015 14:17

Patches of lost pigment on my nipples. Never has come back 11 months after DD was born.

Not being able to drink orange juice anymore (gives me heartburn even now).

Back ache for days after the birth as I was tensing for so long.

I've gone through two labours, one with an epidural, one without - just want to say that it's not pleasant but it is doable.

kitkatsfordinner · 17/10/2015 14:20

I think people don't get warned enough about how difficult the aftermath of birth is and breastfeeding, so it makes it a shock and you think you are doing it wrong when you haven't bounced back and got back to normality after a month. Really the first weeks of baby's life is like a fourth trimester of pregnancy. You can sometimes spend the whole day feeding, you are leaking from most orifices, and recovering from birth which is like having been beaten up. It 's why I always get confused why people organise loads of visitors and things for that period. You are just going to resent them when they are the reason you need to squeeze in a shower, getting dressed and making the house look presentable, when you've only had 5 minutes to yourself all day and night!

austengirl · 17/10/2015 17:34

So. Much. Discharge.

Pelvic pain not just being at the tops of your thighs or side of your hips, but feeling like you've been kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

3littlebadgers, I'm so sorry. Knowing it's more common than usually acknowledged doesn't necessarily do much to take the pain of loss away.

MagicDucky · 17/10/2015 22:12

Round Ligament Pain! Oh my goodness every time I sneezed I felt like I was being stabbed.

Hairy belly?! What?! Whhhhy?!

Insomnia was definitely the worst part though! I got it right from day one and it's the same again this time!

However I didn't think labour was as bad as people made out to me. (And mine lasted two bloody days!) I have a VERY low pain threshold but it wasn't half as bad as I expected, although every pregnancy is different so I bet I've jinxed this labour now and it's going to be agony haha!

expatinscotland · 17/10/2015 22:14

Piles. My abdominal muscles separated with DD2. Piles. That your foof is knackered after giving birth 3 times.

Oysterbabe · 17/10/2015 22:19

So far hairy belly, leaky boobs and alternating between insomnia and insane dreams.

Mummatron3000 · 17/10/2015 22:21

That you will CRAVE being able to sleep on your front! I didn't realise that I was a front sleeper til I had a massive bump preventing it!
(Now I'm just craving any sleep full stop but that's a different matter )

cornishglos · 17/10/2015 23:04

Any ladies pregnant for the first time our bodies are designed for childbirth it's not the most pleasant experience but you will feel amazing at the end of it.

I completely disagree! Many of us would not have survived childbirth years ago. Pregnancy, for me, was a breeze first time, and has been pretty enjoyable this time too. It's very personal.

Birth was a real shock, and I wish people had been honest about how awful it could be. And the recovery, as many have mentioned. To me, that was the big secret no-one told.

I went from being very happy and comfortable, swimming 40 lengths and walking 5 miles one day, to recovering from birth the next. Someone said 'like being beaten up'. Yes, that was exactly it! Brutal. I had backache for weeks, stitches that wouldn't heal, carpal tunnel syndrome and piles... it took months to feel comfortable again.

So pregnancy, birth and recovery are different for everyone - so many degrees of wonderful, uncomfortable and awful. I find comments like 'you will feel amazing' so unhelpful!

OP: no reason why your recovery would be as tough as mine, and I hope your birth experience is a good one. But if any of it is tough, that is normal too...

VioletBumble · 17/10/2015 23:21

It seems to be different for everyone, so dont believe everything you hear or waste angst comparing your experience with others. Just like stuff like learning to drive, your first job, going to college - you will get a different story on 'what it's like' depending on who you ask and till you do it yourself you won't really know. Fwiw i didnt think pregnancy was all it was cracked up to be - it was uncomfortable and boring on the whole, with no glowing!

ispyfispi · 18/10/2015 06:47

I'd never heard of anal fissures until I got them after my first birth, feels like pooing needles, ouch! Got them after the 2nd too but at least I was expecting it.
Also how much newborns breastfeed. ALL the time!

Livvylongpants · 18/10/2015 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Strawclutching · 18/10/2015 07:08

Pregnancy itching. Got it at about 8 months. Unbearable. Nothing made it better. Nobody is sympathetic. It's worse than childbirth.

LillianGish · 18/10/2015 07:20

Pregnancy is preparing for the reality of looking after a baby. It slows you down, it stops you sleeping properly at night so that getting up to attend to your new born is not a complete shock to the system. You feel so uncomfortable by the end you are possitively looking forward to giving birth so you can get your body back. And then when you have your baby to look after, and you are trying to work out what to do and how to manage with this lovely, tiny, mewling thing you are just grateful that you have got your body back and you can at least bend down to tie your shoelaces and don't need to wee every 15 minutes. Pregnancy is just the start and birth is something you go through - for better or for worse (I was very lucky both times) - it is of limited duration. The real challenge is adapting your life to the needs of a tiny baby (and then of a baby and toddler or whatever) 24 hours a day. That's what I tell friends who are obsessing over details of their birth plan trying to prepare for the perfect birth. Do it the best way you can, but it's what comes afterwards that really counts.

puddymuddles · 18/10/2015 22:09

I didn't really push out the placenta it just popped out really easily as I had the injection which makes it come out faster (forgotten name of it).

I have 3 DC the youngest is nearly 4 months so I should remember something.

Going to the toilet for the first time after giving birth is painful and best to take a bottle of water to pour over your bits when you wee to stop it stinging.

The last month or so of pregnancy will be really uncomfortable and the movements of the baby may be painful.

Being induced is to be avoided unless a life or death situation as is much more painful than natural labour (I have had one induction and 2 natural labours).

You may get piles for a week or so after the birth but they will go away of you eat lots of fibre.

Some women really don't produce enough milk to breastfeed (I didn't)

Some women are lucky and don't get morning sickness (I didn't)

PacificDogwod · 18/10/2015 22:18

Nothing prepares you for the reality of pregnancy, childbirth and looking after your very own child

Ok, here's my tuppence worth:

your centre of gravity changes and your balance is shot to pieces.
you forget about your girth from time to time and get stuck between 2 car mirrors of 2 parked cars you were going to squeeze through
oh yes, the sleeping on your front thing: first you cannot do it for months on end, then you find it uncomfortable because your neck has become stiff by not doing it for so long!
Sweating: I sweat like a pig post-pregnancy. Just sat there sweating. Horrible!
Post-natal swelling: I had trunk legs and sausage fingers after I had my babies. Go, figure.

And yes, everybody's experience is different. My 4 pregnancies were very different from each other.

And I did not have sickness or cravings, ever.

Otoh, I had weird bone marrow failure (scary), SPD (which got better after 6 months - weird) and was hospitalised from 25 weeks onwards with DS2 due to placenta praevia (v scary).

If men had to do it, human kind would've long died out. Or they'd've found a solution to all these problems

PacificDogwod · 18/10/2015 22:18

Oh, and snoring. Terrible, terrible snoring when pregnant...

CloudsofBrick · 19/10/2015 16:00

Definitely the constipation. The lack of control over your own birth ("no I don't want an emergency c section, I've already decided I'm having a serene water birth..."). Breast thrush.

BexusSugarush · 19/10/2015 16:37

That no matter how often you do your pelvic floor exercises, you'll sometimes still pee when you cough or sneeze.

schokolade · 19/10/2015 19:44

How much effort breastfeeding is - it can take up most of your day at the beginning!

If you're worried about pooing yourself during the birth (and apparently the vast majority of labours involve this!), then it may help you to sit and a toilet to push the baby out. It was the only way I could get along because I was scared of pooing everywhere. Even though I sort of knew it was silly.

The beginning of labour can involve lots of diarrhoea and also vomiting. Both at the same time for me, and violent. Maybe it doesn't happen often, I dont know. But knowing I wasn't dying would've been nice.

Original poster

macdat · 20/10/2015 16:24

Pregnancy can feel so horrible at times, but it seems from all the answers here that the real thing I need to prepare for is labour and after the labour. I always knew that would be a big deal, but not as much as it actually is. Really, thank you all so much. I'm so grateful to know some of the real ins and outs of it, doctors and midwives never really tell you all this stuff so it's good to hear from actual mothers rather than just the medical side of things.
I can plan my labour a bit better now too.

OP posts:

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