Help!!! 22 and just found out I'm pregnant

[Charlotte987654]

Help!!!! Just joined this for some support. 6 days late for my period, did a pregancy test (was so sure I wouldn't be pregnant!!!) and it came back positive. I live with my parents and just started a new job. I've been with my partner for 18 months. I haven't told him yet. I'm so scared. Where do I start what do I do??? How do I even know I want this baby??? I'm so confused. Someone please help xxxxx

My baby was very much planned and I still spent the first few weeks bursting into tears and feeling completely shaken so don't take that as a definitive sign of anything other than having had a huge shock and being full of hormones. I adore my DS and although life with a child is very different to life without one, it's so much richer and more full of love than I ever imagined. Cut yourself some slack and take a little time to get your head round it. You have plenty of time to consider your options.

I found out at 17 I was expecting was with my partner 9 weeks and I was 8 weeks pregnant!

We're now married, my first pregnancy was unfortunately a Stillborn. But we have a healthy 15 month old, and I'm expecting again 14 week's pregnant now (I'm 21).

At first we was living apart but I moved into his mums. We moved out before we had our daughter. He works a good job to support us and as soon as this baby turns 1 I'm going to work (can't now as I'm high risk).

Honestly, try not stress. At 17 I didn't know what to expect! Everything just falls into place. Your mum will probably be shocked but I bet she'll be over the moon after!

Charlotte first of all congrats and secondly take a deep breathe and just remember it's all going to work out fine

Boyfriend: you say he is in shock of course he will be but you guys need to talk more to establish how he feels about either keeping the baby or the alternative. Whatever decision you make make sure you've thought about it cause you'll have to live with it for life.

Mother: you say your mum will be disappointed - maybe she might be but I'm talking in my experience most mothers are supportive as you live at home I would assume you have a good relationship. Take your time and when it's right call her and speak to her . Only you will know what the right timing to open up . Maybe do it with both parents at the same time?

Supplements: if you are thinking of keeping the baby you will need to start taking folic acid and vitamin d . You can either get pregcare or supermarkets own brands they all do the same thing and are cheaper. Home and bargain do them as well. Book an appointment to see your gp as well who will then recommend book your dating scan that will be in 8 weeks to see midwife.

Job: in regards to work you will need to be in in employment with the employer for 26 weeks to qualify smp. Do not tell your employer yet especially when you've only just started. Which means if you're still working there whilst 26 weeks pregnant you will qualify smp and most likely you won't qualify the company's enhanced package as you might need to be there over certain years but you'll still get something. If you don't qualify for smp you can claim government maternity allowance and as soon as baby is born you'll be able to claim child tax credits and other benefits.

Regardless what decision you make - you will be ok and mumsnet is here for support too :-) x

I was only 18 when I found out I was pregnant....I am 32 weeks and 19 but family on my side and my DPS are so supportive and are actually quite excited.....I was only with my DP for 8 months before I got pregnant and he was over the moon despite my fears of telling people. I just had to very quickly come out with it. Also I found I got more respect as I told all family and friends face to face as opposed to a phone call......just be brave girly and you'll be OK.....even if they aren't initially pleased they will come around and you'll be amazed at the support.....GOOD LUCK xx

Just blurt it out to your mum a simple "I'm pregnant " is all that's needed I suspect she'll be shocked too but can't see why she'd be disappointed. She may worry about your relationship and financial /living arrangements but that's because she loves you not because she doesn't want you to have a baby.

It's very natural to panic when you get that positive results even if it's planned it's still a scary thought and realisation so be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes your still very early pregnant so plenty of time to decide if a baby is right for you at this time.

You may not qualify for your company maternity package but if you've been working previous to this you'll be entitled to claim maternity allowance which I think is the same as stat mat pay anyway.

I had my 1st baby at 23 I don't regret having him so young at all

Hi everyone. Just an update on how I'm doing.told mum and she was mad at first but I gave her space and she's quite excited now!!! So all happyxxxxxx

Well done

Have you decided to keep it then? What are your dp thoughts?

Yes keeping it. I don't think a termination was ever an option for me. He's so excited as is my whole family (first baby in the family for since me being born 22 years ago!!!!) so now it's just about saving and finding a house. I do have another question though. How do I know my baby is ok between now and my first scan? xx

You don't I'm afraid for as long as your not bleeding or in extreme pain then assume all is ok.

aww great! Congratulations!! x

I'm 22 aswell and I thought my mum would have been mad at me and she wasn't thank god.. she's so excited!

Congratulations Charlotte

Congrats keep us updated

Congratulations Charlotte! I was petrified about telling my partners parents but they seemed slightly too happy haha. I've taken 3 tests all positive with one saying 2-3 weeks & I'm a little bit lost myself! Stay positive! X

Congratulations! if you want reassurance before nhs scan you could always book a private scan at around 8 weeks when you should be able to see a heartbeat. They are usually around £50 ish xx

I was 24 and married and still asked my mum if she was disappointed in me haha (she wasn't!).

DS is 12 weeks old today and everyone in the family is obsessed with him, and he is the best thing ever!! Good luck OP you're going to have so much fun I'm sure :)

Flip your situation upside down and be relieved you've started a family young. Lots of advantages to this situation you haven't yet seen because you're in shock at the news. Every cloud has a silver lining.

I had my first at 24 (planned) but many people were shocked at my news because they thought I was career minded...it blew them away.

So I've been to the Doctors today for my bloods to be taken & I am back in on Wednesday for a repeat blood test. This is to check if my hormone levels have doubled right? I still have this sense of denial I guess up until I know everything is okay & I have a healthy start to my pregnancy. The "implantation" cramps are starting to get a little irritating as they come out of nowhere :').

Congrats!! I'm 30, married and had been trying for 9months but when I found out it was still a shock! I then worried from finding out at 5 weeks until my 12 week scan as I had no symptoms and now 17 weeks worrying everything is ok until my 20 week scan!! It's just natural. Just be positive and everything will work out.
You'd think at 30 I'd have a clue - but nope! We talk every day in work about pregnancy, birth & babies!! It's all a big learning curve!
Good Luck!! Xx

This is my first post here!

My period was late and I started to feel changes specifically boobs hurting/growing and extreme fatigue. So last night I thought I’d better take a test.. two positive tests later. My OH was with me and I burst into tears not sure how to react, we spoke about it and initially both said no we aren’t ready we can’t do this. He’s gone to work today and now I’ve had time to think about it I don’t think I could go through terminating the pregnancy. How do I put this to him as I know he’s completely adamant we aren’t ready for a baby.

I’m 22 and live on my own in my own flat and he’s 23 living at home with his parents just for ref.

@Emgd99 you need to start your own thread as people will respond to the original post from 2015. Good luck with your decision though.

@achieve6

Charlotte "What if he's happy??? I haven't stopped crying since I took the test. Surely that can't mean I'm happy"

I'm going to get flamed but I think you need to know your own mind before you tell him. If you don't want a baby and he does....yikes

Good luck whatever you decide

Yes I am afraid I agree with this. Work out what you truly want first.

Hi @Emgd99, sorry you are in such a stressful situation (but congratulations on your pregnancy). I think it is best if you start your own thread on this topic. "Start new thread on this topic" and then copy-pasting your message there should do it!

Take some time to get used to the idea, and whatever you decide, in the end it is your body and your decision. Good luck!

@emgd99 It's not up to him, it's your body so you have final say.
If you go down the termination route you need to be 100% sure that is what YOU want or you will have to live with the regret and most relationships don't survive in that situation. If you go ahead and have baby your relationship could go either way so factor in that you may have to do it alone.
You have a roof over your head, the rest you can work out. Take time to let it sink in and figure out what you want to do.

Our 1st we were young (19&21) neither of us had our own place, he wasn't ready and threatened to leave if I continued the pregnancy. Here we are over 17 years later been married over 12 and I'm 35wk with our 6th. Some relationships can weather the storm.

That's 17 years together, eldest is 15 now