40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Great news Isla! Have you told your older son yet?

It's so reassuring to know there are so many of us over 40 and to be able to discuss all the different advice we're getting.

Yes, DS(18) is pleased, as is DSD(11). They are both looking forward to having a baby brother or sister.

Great news Isla

Too funny loveandsmiles I thought I was done at 4. Two of each, 3 bed bungalow, perfect. And now Wombat (as the DC's insist on calling their unborn sibling). We're all in the zone now, though. DH loves a good project and a single storey extension is just the ticket.

Dare I ask how you're feeling grizzer?

And seldom if you can get internet connection, tell us how the news went down.

Morning all. Just flying through.....this thread moves quickly so I need to catch up.
Now 18 weeks with a fundal height of 25!!!! The twins seem to be doing well. Still not feeling any movement as yet but I do have a home doppler which I use every few days for reassurance.
* WARNING** A TMI question here....
Constipation....has any body else suffered and what worked for you??
Gp gave me lactulose which just gave me wind and tummy ache. I have eaten more fruit and fibre and upped my water but still no change. Some days it actually feels lije pressure on the foof which worries the life out of me.

Glad your twins are doing well, Calibee.

I didn't get constipation from the pregnancy itself, as all I could eat until week 20 was fruit and wholemeal toast but the end result of the limited eating is that I need iron tablets currently, which slow things down a lot.

In an attempt to get a bit more iron in my diet, I decided to have a glass of prune juice mixed with a tablespoon of blackstrap molasses dissolved in warm water each night (I'm vegetarian and these are pretty good sources of non meat iron). Since then the constipation has been replaced by a slightly alarmed dash to the loo each morning within about 20 minutes of waking up, much to the annoyance of DH, who is usually in the bathroom at that time!

cali Glad to hear that the twins are doing well!

I am really suffering with constipation in this pregnancy, too, it is soooo uncomfortable, I feel for you. I've also been given lactulose, and although it has helped a little bit, I agree with the wind it gives you!
I add a tablespoon of linseeds to my cereal every morning, which definitely helps to -ahem- keep things soft, and I am also eating prunes and drinking prune juice (bleurgh). I would try those, dried figs or dates are also meant to help. Might try the molasses that cin has recommended, too!
However, I think that for me, it's mainly the lack of exercise that is making the difference... I am trying to go for a brisk walk whenever I can, as well as dragging myself to the gym a few times a week (tiredness permitting). Hope it resolves soon for you!

I'm 18+4 today, and starting to freak out a bit that I can't feel anything. 20 week scan is in 2 weeks, ages away...
However, I think I might have felt something last night, although due to the issues mentioned above, I am hesitant to put it down to anything other than trapped wind! And so the next symptom-watch begins, sigh...

calibee , dried apricots

It's so annoying that just when you want to be able to feel something specific in your abdomen, everything in there starts gurgling and bubbling. How exciting that you might have felt your first movement though!

I agree the prune juice tastes disgusting on its own but adding the molasses definitely disguises it, if you don't mind the liquorice taste that has. I also found that having it warm on a cold day or adding a splash of grapefruit juice and some ice on a cold day made a big difference.

At just over 34 weeks I have a mover in my belly...... I can see her feet under my skin which is a bit weird but nice .... I really could not tell at 18 weeks if it was wind or baby movement.
Constipation is awful, I found dried fruit really helped.
Packing hospital bag today ... However OH forget to get clothes bag down from attic so might have to venture up there myself.

Me too Calibee!! I keep thinking I'm going to give birth if I sit there any longer . I need more fruit & smoothies I think. Will try the linseed but even reading the word 'prunes' has me gagging!
I'm still a bit up & down daft but generally better thank you. The bump doesn't totally vanish when I lie down so I know baby is getting bigger. I thought I felt something last night too but not 100% sure. I've decided against a private scan & will just wait for 20 weeks - 19 days to go.....
What are people's views on finding out gender? I can't decide. I didn't find out with dd & it was a lovely moment when I first saw I had a daughter. This time, I feel I need to sort out all the clothes in the loft by either washing & keeping or getting rid & getting boy stuff.
My main reason though is dd insists it's a sister &, as much as I'm inclined to believe her as she seems to have a weird 6th sense, I feel I need to prepare her for a brother if that's the case. Anyone else found out/finding out & did you tell others if you knew?

With my first pregnancy, I ended up in A&E with constipation! I was 20 weeks and I went into a kind of limbo. I had a poo stuck (hard as nails) and then I couldn't wee either. It was horrendous and the pain turned me into a screaming banshee. They had to use glycerin pessaries to unblock me! So after that, I was on Lactulose and prune juice. But the worst bit is that it happened again, exactly a week after DS was born and I was back in A&E with the same thing, except this time I was trying to breastfeed as well. I ended up with a litre of trapped urine in my bladder which did not feel very nice when it was pressing against my week old C section scar. So I'm being very careful this time to not force a poo out and to keep up my fibre levels!

That sounds terrifying, Mrs! I had no idea it could get that bad and after a caesarean, that's the last thing you need. Hope the smoothies keep it at bay this time.

Grizzer, I didn't care much whether or not we found out this time but DH really wanted to know, I think he thought knowing the sex would help him feel there's a real baby on the way as he hadn't been able to feel anything by that stage, so we asked to know. Next time, I think it will be me who wants to know, though, so I feel prepared for another the same or too expect some differences.

Good luck with the bag packing, Lola!

mrslebon that sounds terrible! So far I haven't had constipation. Occasionally I have the opposite. Running to the bathroom before it's too late .

At the 20 week scan the midwife just blurted out that it was a boy. I had wanted to know but she didn't know that and I was still pretty annoyed because she ruined the suspense. I think I wanted an xfactor style pause before the reveal! The reason I wanted to know was because I had a list of lovely girl names but no boy names and I thought if it's a girl I won't have to think of any boy names.

I still haven't made my mind up. Boy names are so difficult!

mrs Urgh, that sounds horrific! Now I will definitely try and keep things moving

grizzer We are currently thinking not to find out gender (didn't with DS, and it was so nice), but I'm not ruling out that we might change our mind when we have the 20-week scan! Also wondering if it might help DS if he knows whether he is getting a brother or a sister. I have started looking for books about pregnancy that we might read with him...

I agree with siesta that boys' names are tricky! We have an ever growing list of girls names (albeit with quite a few ones that are being vetoed by one party), but the boys' list is quite short, and we can't come up with anything new... Very likely, we end up with the second choice that we had for DS, whereas most of the girls' names have since then been taken by relatives and close friends how dare they!

Grizzer I don't like surprises (and I'm a bit of a control freak!) so I found out the gender with each of my DS. When DS1 found out I was having a boy he cried because he really wanted a sister. With this pregnancy I found out early with a Harmony Test and my 3 DS were really pleased that they were having another brother. But I'm completely stuck for boys' names. I rule out so many because I've taught children with that name!

Just had my 16 wk mw appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat which was lovely as I was starting to get a bit worried as I don't think I've felt any movements yet. My midwife has got me down as 'anxious' in my notes so I will get more check ups using the Doppler to reassure me - which is fine with me.

17w

We found out our bean was a girly ... Thank goodness in a way because we have a Lovely girls name that we both like ... Boys name well we couldn't agree on any

Hmmm you've triggered a memory from before dd was born when dh & I were arguing because, if she had been a boy, he wanted to name him Archie after his dad. I like the name but dh's friends also nickname dh Archie & I didn't want a 3rd generation with the same name. Also, my dad died a few years earlier & it didn't seem fair to name a child after one dad but not the other (Philip was a definite no no!)
It was only resolved when she was a girl. Don't want to have 20 weeks of that argument again!!
I like Ethan, Aiden or Eli for boys.

I didn't find out the sex with DS. I was determined not to this time either but I changed my mind during the scan! It's a girl for us which is just as well as we couldn't agree on boy's names.

I love the name Eli , my OH liked Marshal !!!

Brilliant suggestions for the constipation ladies. Have been on a hunt for prune juice....can I find any???? pffft. Gp has prescribed Manevac granules but chemist had run out :(.
I know I'm having a boy...and we are 90% sure the other twin is a girl (repeat scan on Saturday to see if she/he is less shy). I didnt find out with my older 3 ...infact I'm not sure if the option to know was even available. I was certainly not asked. Mind you...this was back in the days of one scan at 16 weeks.
I have my work risk assesment later this week. I'm thinking of asking if I can spread my hours over the week as I currently do 3 long days. my job involves being on my feet probably 85% of the time which has been resulting in back/pelvic pain. Has anybody else had to have work alterations put in place??

Calibee I get Sunsweet prune juice from Tesco, Waitrose or sometimes Holland and Barratt but H&B are much more expensive. In the supermarkets, it's with the long life juice that doesn't need to be chilled.

I changed my hours at work to have an easier commute and also the possibility of regular work from home days but I've only used working from home for hospital appointments really. Might need to do a day a week soon though if I get tired more.

Cali

My constipation remedy is half a lemon squeezed into hot water in the morning. It generally works for me within 30 minutes but you do need to drink it straight after getting up!

calibee an orange before you go to bed each night will help shift it...

Hello All

Thought I'd jump on re constipation! I am an expert! I'm 28 + 1 and been taking 30ml of lactulose on a night since week 6 but after asking if I can have this on script docs told me not recommended for long term use anymore in preg and they now recommend Laxido (powder sachets that makes you gag but is manageable in fruit juice) much better results! Far more natural n less bloated. It's finding the right dose with things as I only take 1 sachet a night but can have 8 a day if needed

I had horrendous piles from DD 14 years ago and ended up having them banded 2 years ago. I will do anything and everything to prevent them retuning! My consultant at the time said if you haven't number 2'ed with in 2 mins of sitting down then get up and try later! Don't sit straining

And my stats... I'm 40 in a few weeks currently 28+1 with DD2. DD1 2014.... Life doesn't always go to plan hence the looooooong gap!

Have to say despite initial concerns I'm far more healthier relaxed and enjoying this preg more than I did aged 25

Due 26/10 had a growth scan today n have a repeat one at 34 weeks when all will be decided.. Can't wait!