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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

994 replies

cloudjumper · 22/07/2015 13:31

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

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ababsurdum · 14/09/2015 20:06

Brooke & Eagle great news that your scans were all fine. It's one milestone ticked!

Charlie congratulations and welcome to the thread.

mrslebon fab news on the downs scan, it must be such a relief. I'm hoping for similar though I think I will get a Harmony test when I'm 10 weeks.

I worried constantly during my first pregnancy, about anything and everything. My dh said that I invented things to worry about! I just had this feeling that it might be our only chance so so much seemed to rest on it. The worry doesn't stop when they're born either though. This time round I'm much more calm, I guess because I'm already so lucky or maybe it's just having done it before. I'm not sure, though I will still be happier after my scan. I'm 6+1 today, still no symptoms except tiredness.

ababsurdum · 14/09/2015 20:32

Oh but I do have a massive bloated stomach, no idea if it's baby related. I can't dig out the maternity jeans though as we don't want people to know yet. Think I'm going to have to get something in a bigger size so it's more comfortable Blush. Wish I had lost more weight before I got pregnant!

GoooRooo · 15/09/2015 10:52

We've had a D&V bug in our house this week - it's hideous.

38+1 today and so so over being pregnant but suspect she won't arrive while I'm still feeling poorly.

Siesta · 15/09/2015 16:29

Sorry to hear that GoooRooo. I hope it passes soon.

I'm 37+3. My next appointments are when I'm 38+6 and then at 39+6. I haven't been given any information about when to call the hospital, what to take with me or even a telephone number to call! It seems no one is expecting my baby to arrive early. I'm in Spain and this is my first, so I'm not sure if this is normal protocol or not.

brookeberry · 16/09/2015 09:07

Morning everyone, I hope it's okay to have a wee moan here. Everyone seems to be doing great and it's so good to read. I don't want to be on the mc page. I'm 42 and 9+5 after 3 mc in a row and it's so hard not to think it will happen again (I'm not a mum, yet). It's so hard for me to imagine being past this point with a bump and an actual baby! I'm scared. I had a successful scan at 8+3 and have been feeling positive, but now my boobs aren't sore anymore and I'm so scared it's happening again. I have a second scan on Monday (10+3) and I know I will just have to wait until then. I just don't want to be crying over the sonographer yet again. It's devastating. So sorry for the downer, but we aren't telling anyone and I need to let it out! Thanks xx

ababsurdum · 16/09/2015 10:23

Brooke I'm so sorry that you're so worried. It's completely understandable and you should absolutely feel free to moan on here whenever you like, I can't imagine how you must feel after three mc in a row but it was something that I was terrified of during my first pregnancy, my heart goes out to you. There are other posters on this thread who have had successful pregnancies after mcs so hopefully some of them will be along soon.

I don't think I can offer any words of wisdom except that symptoms do come and go so the fact that your boobs aren't sore any more shouldn't mean much by itself. Do you have any pregnancy relaxation tracks you can listen to? Fingers crossed the days till your next scan pass quickly. In the meantime try and keep yourself busy Flowers & Cake

Siesta can you phone the midwives and ask what you should do when you go into labour? It really could be any day now!

ababsurdum · 16/09/2015 10:25

Hope you're all feeling better GoooRooo

brookeberry · 16/09/2015 14:09

Thanks ababsurdum. I'm low today I think because I didn't sleep last night and the negativity has taken over. At least I don't have to wait too long for my next scan on Monday - I guess I'm lucky that the NHS are giving me all these early scans. I just read through your posts - congrats on your bfp! Are you nearly at your 7 week scan yet?

ababsurdum · 16/09/2015 19:41

Sorry, I keep trying to post but I'm away with a rubbish signal and it won't let me!

Everything feels worse after a rubbish nights sleep doesn't it? Try to relax tonight (easier said than done I know) and pamper yourself a bit, there's precious little time once a baby arrives. Is there no one in real life that you can confide in?

I am 6+3 today and my scan is on Tuesday. I'm feeling calm right now but I know I'll be really anxious beforehand until I know that (hopefully) everything is ok and that there's only one. I have no symptoms at the moment, it feels like I'm not pregnant really.

cloudjumper · 16/09/2015 22:38

goo Hope you are feeling better now! D&V is just the worst.

Siesta That sounds normal to me! First babies are often late, and due dates are woefully inaccurate anyway. In some countries, you don't even get one, just the month. Have you got any antenatal courses where you are? That's where I got all the info from back when pg with DS. Mumsnet has a lot of information about what to pack in your hospital bag, if you do a search on here, and what to do when you suspect you're in labour. In any case, I would definitely ask your midwife at your next appointment.

brooke I can totally relate. I've had 4 mc in a row, and the first trimester of this pregnancy, I was walking on eggshells. And although the worry is a lot less now, I am still anxious sometimes... It took me until the 20-week scan before I started to really believe that it is happening! Miscarriage is the 'gift' that keeps on giving! However, you've seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks, and this has bumped your chances for a good outcome to something like over 95% (or even 98% I can't remember the exact stats). Take one day at a time. Find things to distract you. You have every chance that it will all be OK.
There is a pregnancy after mc thread, if you think you'd might be up for that, with everyone in the same boat.

I've been feeling really rough since Monday, I think I might have some light food poisoning... Felt awful on Monday night, ready to throw up, but didn't , and just not right since then. Then today, finally some diarrhoea (sorry tmi), which, to be honest, was almost a relief, as my constipation is still so bad! No appetite, no energy, just generally feeling bleurgh. Really hope it goes away soon!
On top of that, my back is killing me! I think I might splurge out and have a massage at the weekend...

OP posts:
Siesta · 17/09/2015 13:00

Well it looks like I spoke to soon about baby not arriving soon! My waters broke Tuesday night at 37+3. After 12 hours of nothing happening they started an induction. 12 hours later my gorgeous son was born at 6.28 pounds.

I'm happy but sore. [Grin]

40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!
DreamingOfThruxtons · 17/09/2015 14:02

Siesta, he's beautiful- congratulations! Grin

ababsurdum · 17/09/2015 15:40

Many congratulations Siesta, what a beautiful baby! Flowers

guesthere21 · 17/09/2015 16:37

Hi,

I really am looking for some advice. I started a new thread and didn't see the over 40's area to ask for advice. I am 49 years old and had two miscarriages at the age of 45 and I put off trying to have a baby for a while after that. I've also tried to get used to the idea of not having a child but despite having spoken to counsellors about it, I can't get over the idea of not having a child. It's causing a lot of depression and sadness and I think I'm getting bitter as a result. I would really like to have a child and wonder if it's reasonable to still pursue this? I would really like some encouraging advice, if possible :) Thanks

ababsurdum · 17/09/2015 18:23

Welcome guest, I'm sorry for your losses. I don't have much advice to offer I'm afraid. Have you looked into donor eggs? It could be that's your best option? Hopefully someone else will be along soon with some advice for you.

guesthere21 · 17/09/2015 18:51

Glad to hear from you abasurdum. I have thought about donor eggs and also embryo adoption and adoption but I'm struggling to make a choice and I'm worried about what people will think because of my age. Yet, I still think about it all the time and worried about regretting doing the wrong thing.

ababsurdum · 17/09/2015 18:57

Wanting a child is a very strong urge isn't it? Do you have a dp? Do they feel the same as you? Perhaps the first step is to find a clinic and book a consultation and/or some tests. Also I'm sure there will be people on mumsnet who have done all those things and will be able to advise you of the pros and cons.

guesthere21 · 17/09/2015 19:15

I have a partner but I don't think he feels the same way because he has children from his previous relationships. I thought I would have overcome this desire but it's the same and I'm panicking more than previously because of my age.

cloudjumper · 17/09/2015 19:50

siesta Congratulations! He looks absolutely beautiful. Hope you are recovering well xxx

guest Sorry about your losses. There is a 40+ thread on the conception forum, which has lots of lovely ladies with lots of advice, you might want to try that as well. I also don't have much advice, if you are already looking into donor eggs and adoption... Other than really talk to your OH about all this - he needs to be on board with it, doesn't he? Sounds to me as if you need a heart-to-heart and discuss it together. Good luck!

OP posts:
Grizzer · 17/09/2015 21:02

Congratulations Siesta! He is gorgeous. Have you chosen a name yet?

IslaMann · 18/09/2015 06:29

Oh Siesta what an absolute cutie, congratulations!

20 week scan this morning and I'm scared. The "scanxiety" has reared its head again. Guess there's still part of me that thinks this isn't going to happen and that something will still go wrong.

ababsurdum · 18/09/2015 08:30

Excellent term for it Isla. Best of luck for today, fingers crossed all is as it should be.

Titch2015 · 18/09/2015 09:19

Hello!
Can I join you ladies please, I'm 43yrs old and 5+ weeks pregnant. Delighted to find this thread & looking forward to 'getting to know' you all. Will grab a cuppa & have a read through xx

brookeberry · 18/09/2015 09:37

Welcome Titch! Im 42 and 10 wks!

ababsurdum · 18/09/2015 13:25

Welcome Titch. I'm 43 and 6+5.