40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

hiya! I'm 42 with 14, 5, 4 and 18 month old and am now 10 weeks pregnant with number 5. scared and tired. zzzzzz

Congrats ladyv and kungfu!

longday My first was breech from about 16 weeks and never turned, seemed very comfy with his big head right under my ribcage (ouch).

I think if they're wrigglers and like to change positions they might well turn lots of times before settling head down. I had my 20 week scan yesterday and this one was wriggling herself into a breech position during the scan. I think it might be the shape of my uterus!

Sorry claire, congrats and welcome! I'm glad we have lots of experienced mums on here...I sometimes worry at the thought of managing 2 babies but I think I should just shut up & take notes!

crumble a very wise friend of mine once suggested that the ideal number of children is the number you have minus one. So I figure that having 5 will make me look back at how easy 4 was.

I never knew about pg rhinitis. What I do know though is that my anti sickness med (cyclizine) is an antihistamine so it would probably be worse without that. Although I'd be so busy vomiting I wouldn't notice.

Getting a lot of movement from Wombat now - visible on the outside much to everyone's amusement. Less impressed by DS1 telling me I looked silly because of Wombat. I had his little brother when he was only 16 months so all this big, round mummy thing is new to him. The DD's are currently away, but they are a bit disappointed that they are too large to ride the bump. In previous pregnancies they could sit on the bump, wrap their arms around my neck and be carried hands free. They are teaching the boys what to do...

Hi everyone one hope you are all well ... I'm 35 weeks now and the end is in sight ( thank goodness ) my DD Likes playing the drums on my belly especially when belly moves !!!!

Hi everyone, funny to hear about the games our dcs play with the bumps. My dd can't wait til she can feel some kicks. Anyone got the cute fruit app? It's got cartoon pics that show you the size of baby as a fruit or veg each week. I'm currently a turnip but think I'll be the next size up tomorrow. Fun to share with dcs.

Hello lovely, crumbly, old preggo ladies. Just popped in to wave my pom poms and cheer you on a bit. Missing lots of you on conception thread but so happy for you all. Feeling v jealous having skim read! Hoping to join you soon. Been looking into doing FET so hope can join you all soon, but honestly don't fancy chances.

Keep up the.good work! Ff xx

Thanks for the tip about the app, grizzer! I downloaded it and showed it to DS this morning, and he thought it was funny that the baby is now the size of a mango Although I suspect that I will go and have to buy one (a mango, not a baby) to bring the point home properly!

fireflies Good to hear from you! Hope all is well and that you will be able to join us soon.

cineraria I have now started taking the prune juice with the molasses (given up on lactulose, it only gives me wind and nothing else), and it seems to be working quite well so far... It's disgusting, though, but hey, whatever works!

Welcome newbies, the thread is filling up nicely!

Cauliflower.

Ooh can't wait for cauliflower & mango! I can't believe I'm only a pepper - I feel huge

Ooh I'm a pepper as well. Not sure why my tummy is so large then! What comes after a pepper?

Apparently mine is the size of a durian. I have no idea what one of those is.

Ha, glad to hear the prune juice and molasses is keeping you regular (or maybe jet propelled like me!), Cloud.

I love hearing about your DC playing with your bumps and enjoying the fruit app. I don't have that one or any children but I do have a different app that mentions fruit and veg. Before we knew he was a boy and started using the name we plan to give him, DH and I used to alternate calling the baby a boy or girl's name to match the name of the fruit/veg for the week, e.g. he was Bartholomew Blueberry one week and Raquel Raspberry the next. I think he's supposed to be a pineapple this week. Yum!

Like the names Cineraria ..... Mines a coconut this week

goo Durian fruit is the one that smells soooo awful that you are not allowed to take it on planes or public transport. I experienced it in Thailand once, and it is absolutely awful. Apparently, it tastes really nice, but no idea how you can bring yourself to eat something that smells so rank!

cineraria No jet propelling here, but at least no more rabbit pellets... Will it be Pineapple Peter this week then?

I met with our HR person yesterday to discuss the maternity conditions - there is clearly room for improvement for my company here! I get an 'enhanced' package, ie. 8 weeks of 90% pay, then statutory for the rest. Ho-hum. Definitely won't be able to take a year off then. Looking into shared parental leave at the moment, but that's pretty dire, too. Wish I lived in Scandinavia!
BTW - does anyone know if you get statutory pay on top of what your company pays you? This is all new to me, I didn't have a job when I went on mat leave with DS, so only had maternity allowance, so I haven't got a clue how this all works. And what about childcare vouchers?

I get nothing because I'm self employed. Statutory Maternity Allowance of £139 per week. As a result I'm only taking 4 months off!

If they've told you you get SMP after the first 8 weeks that's all you get unless they offer you enhanced maternity pay - but it doesn't sound likely in your case cloud.

Childcare vouchers they should continue to pay during your maternity leave.

Hi yea you should still be entitled to vouchers as ....even though you are on maternity leave you are still classed as employed ... So you are entitled to holiday, pay rises etc I only get 6 weeks at 90 percent then get basic SMP ... However you may get some tax back as well

Hey cloud, I'm always really surprised at how maternity leave scenarios differ between employers, it's a complete lottery. My company are really generous, offering full pay for 6 months and then SMP for 3 months. Sounds good you'd think but then it's been a massive battle negotiating any kind of flexible working when it was time to return. They pretty much expect you to work full time straight away, like the maternity leave was just some extended holiday and you don't have a baby at home that needs looking after for longer than a year! I had to use up all my annual leave to allow me to work 3 days a week for a few months. Then I was supposed to have a chat...but got pregnant again and have therefore removed myself from a difficult situation. That hopefully means that your employer will be super supportive when you come back!

I'm not new BTW, I used to be crumble but had to NC when Mumsnet went funny last night!

Maternity leave is such a complicated thing, especially with the new shared parental arrangements. I think a lot of HR people are quite confused by it too.

I have to confess that I applied for my current job mainly because of quite good maternity pay and family friendliness (nursery and flexible working). I'd been working regularly for the organisation as a self employed contractor with a different team and my current team asked me if I'd be interested in applying to work with them. It's less money and not such interesting or demanding work really but I can put up with that for a few years to make life easier.

When are people planning to start their maternity leave? I've said I'll start mine on the due date as I can do a few days a week from home when travel gets difficult and it's not a very busy time of year anyway.

cine I am due on 1 January, and am planning to start mat leave beginning of December. There is a chance I might have an ELCS, which would happen before Christmas, so I want to make sure that I get some time to chill (well, as much as that's possible with a very active 4-year-old who will be off school by then, too!).

I am also hoping that my work might agree that I work from home a few days a week coming up to that, my commute is a nightmare, and I'm not looking forward to doing that at 35+ weeks! But they are very funny about people working from home, I have never been allowed to before, so will have to see if the pregnancy card has any effect...

I get 4 weeks full pay, 2 weeks 90% then 12 weeks at 50% + SMP. I have a silly question though. I have Christmas holiday until 11th Jan but if baby comes before that (it should) my maternity leave will start from the day it's born won't it? Not the day I'm due back at work?
I'm the same Choco/Crumble, I will be straight back full time. My work refuses to offer job share or anything like that.

Yes it will kick in the day the baby arrives, however you continue to accrue holiday while on maternity leave as you're still an employee so you should be able to tack it on to the end of your maternity leave.

Cineraria I'm starting mine at 36 weeks this time. I planned to work up to my due date last time and had DS at 37+1 - on a day I was due into work. I have a three hour commute each way and I was very lucky I wasn't on the train when my waters went. I daren't risk that again.

Two weeks of work left!