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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

"Are you sure it is not twins?"

105 replies

Maya15 · 18/05/2015 19:23

Just need to let off a bit of steam:
I am 30w pregnant and gained a normal amount of weight with a normal sized bump. Went to a wedding this weekend, felt pretty in my dress and met another friend of the couple. Had not seen that friend since I was 13w pregnant (and not showing back then). He thought I was due any day and when I told him I still had 10 weeks he asked if I was sure it is not twins?
Seriously?
Why does anyone ever think it is acceptable to say something like that? I mean do people really think with modern medicine, scans etc you would have another baby hiding in there? Why do people think they have the right to comment on your bump size? I am growing a baby FFS.
I told him I thought he was inappropriate asking that and he apologized but still feel a bit angry about it.

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ElizabethG81 · 19/05/2015 10:40

People think they have the green light to comment on everything when you're pregnant. When I was expecting my twins, quite a lot of people seemed to take delight in telling me that I was going to be "massive" and "wouldn't be able to drive/walk/move". I actually ended up carrying very small, which surprised me more than anyone else tbh. However, I then got the "are you sure it's twins?" and "they're going to be tiny" comments. People are just thoughtless sometimes.

SheHasAWildHeart · 19/05/2015 10:57

My grandma (who has 10 children so knows enough about pregnancy) told me when I was pregnant "Your bum is huge. Go to the doctor and get it checked out in case the baby has moved from your stomach to your bum."
WTF? She was serious about it.

LittleMilkNoSugar · 19/05/2015 11:25

I think it is just one of those things people say. There's no malice behind it usually but it is very annoying. Try to come up with some retorts!

I had diastesis recti (spelling?) during my pregnancies and STILL get asked when my baby is due. The 'baby' was born 5 years ago. Now that is depressing.

Librarina · 19/05/2015 11:53

The thing that amuses me is when one person says that about it being twins and then 10 minutes later someone else says 'Oh, you've a very neat bump.' One person will say 'That bump's so high, it a boy' and another that it's 'definitely' a girl. Have decided that everyone is an idiot, including me for listening to them.

stubbornstains · 19/05/2015 12:14

"Your bum is huge. Go to the doctor and get it checked out in case the baby has moved from your stomach to your bum." Grin

My bloody MIDWIFE, no less, made the "twins" comment. This was at 28 weeks, so after scans. Way to go, alleged health care professional Hmm. (Yes, I am measuring big).

It drives me mad when it's people who would hardly talk to me otherwise- the lady in the shop, the mums at the school gate that I don't normally speak to, etc. Commenting on how monstrously huge I am does not constitute an acceptable ice breaker, IMHO....

SheHasAWildHeart · 19/05/2015 12:19

Oh and the time I was making tea for exH and his mate.
Mate: Your wife is going to have a boy.
exH: How do you know?
Mate: Women with big bums during pregnancy always have a boy.
I left the tea and walked out of the room.

SheHasAWildHeart · 19/05/2015 12:19

I didn't have a boy. I had a beautiful baby girl (and a big bum apparently!)

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 19/05/2015 12:30

My 1st pg was standing breech then C Sec - it shot my abdominal muscles so my 2nd pg 'showed' a lot more, iyseim.
2nd pg was carried Transverse - it looked like I had swallowed an ENORMOUS sausage - sideways.

I got a LOT of twin comments.

A complete stranger came up to me and said: 'OMG - I've never seen someone SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pregnant'. I was on crutches.

Twunt.

Number3cometome · 19/05/2015 12:54

Yesterday at work:

"Ooh you haven't got long, when are you due?"

Me sighs "July"

"your bump is low and massive, no way, thought you were due now"

me "nope"

whilst inside screaming FUCK OFF!!!

SlightlyJadedJack · 19/05/2015 13:45

Another one here who had it pretty much all the way through my second pregnancy but particularly by one woman who said it to me almost everyday at preschool whilst laughing heartily. What was worse was when I got asked by some random stranger in a park if I was overdue (was about 35 weeks) Shock Why would those words ever leave your mouth, especially to a stranger????

Tbf, he was over 10lb and extremely long when he finally arrived. Grin

toomuchtooold · 19/05/2015 13:48

One of my colleagues said this to me on seeing me at 20 weeks. Her face was a picture when I said yes! It is definitely funnier to hear when you are actually having twins.

OTOH when I was about 6 months, I was on the train to work one morning and a man looked at me and just shook his head. I should have faked contractions to scare the crap out of him...

popalot · 19/05/2015 13:55

I have been getting this non-stop for the last couple of months. I think people are trying to be nice/start a conversation. But it has made me worry on more than one occasion and I think I have to defend myself every time!!

popalot · 19/05/2015 13:57

iHAVE I was wondering if my size was due to how the baby is lying - he's been head up (breech) and the bump is big and solid. I wondered if it was because he was upright, rather than head down where he should be....! What's the position of yours OP?

YouBastardSockBalls · 19/05/2015 14:00

It's just fucking small talk, lighten up.

What can people say in pregnancy?

madreloco · 19/05/2015 14:04

They can say anything pretty much except "Fuck me, you're twice the size you should be!"

FoxSticks · 19/05/2015 14:14

When are you due? Is it your first? You look wonderful! How are you feeling? Any cravings? Are you ready? Have you decided on any names?

All fairly inoffensive (I think) small talk which I just plucked from the top of my head. It's really not that hard to think of something a bit nicer than "bloody hell! You're huge!!"

bigbuttons · 19/05/2015 14:52

Op you would complain even more if no one evr said anything.
You are being far too sensitive.

jennymac · 19/05/2015 14:55

I had this with my first pregnancy. I hadn't put on a lot of weight but my bump was huge. So big even my GP kept asking if they were sure it wasn't twins! Turned out I had excess fluid - would have been useful if someone had picked that up before I went into labour!

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 19/05/2015 14:56

Yep I get this a lot, despite measuring 1.5cms under all the way through! Went to my friends baby shower on Sunday, she's due 4 weeks before me, and her mum said 'ooh you're much bigger and carrying much lower than x (her DD), you'll have yours first'. Thanks.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 19/05/2015 14:57

I can think of plenty of small talk that doesn't involve telling someone how huge they are!

Number3cometome · 19/05/2015 15:25

*YouBastardSockBalls Tue 19-May-15 14:00:27
It's just fucking small talk, lighten up.

What can people say in pregnancy?*

Erm hello, how are you, how are you feeling, you look well, the weathers nice.

Lighten up???!!

LottyJ81 · 19/05/2015 15:33

I am 38 weeks and am very small which has shocked me as I thought I would most definitely be a lot bigger (so did everyone else). Despite this, and despite having had a lot of very nice comments about how 'neat' I am, there are always those few that just have to make a comment about how large you are. It's like they take joy in it!

And as for all the comments about whether it's a boy or girl due to the way your bump looks, what a load of BS! I could scream every time someone says that.

toomuchtooold - 'a man looked at me and just shook his head'. I would have hit him!!

bigbuttons · 19/05/2015 15:48

What a load of old miseries you are.

VenusRising · 19/05/2015 15:52

It's worse when you've had the baby already...... and he's out of nappies..... and doing homework Shock

Number3cometome · 19/05/2015 15:54

bigbuttons

Do you think it would be acceptable to walk up to someone who isn't pregnant and say they are massive?

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