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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

BFP after IVF / ICSI - Chat/ support?

110 replies

Verkey81 · 19/02/2015 02:17

Hi, I've just got my BFP following an ICSI cycle and was (still am) on some threads over on infertility. I'm feeling a bit lost for support and chat as I read someone write that it is depressing to see those with BFP chatting and I don't want to put other people off using the threads if you know what I mean! Whilst it's still early days for me so don't want to count my chickens by being on the 'pregnancy' threads, but I found the others invaluable for support!

Anyone else been through IVF /ICSI and in the early ish stages of pregnancy want to come on the journey with me! Anyone who got their BFP and was chatting on the other threads? It's my first pregnancy so no idea if I would be this scared if I hadn't had to endure all this, but I feel going through IVF has made me much more paranoid and scared than I ever thought I would be! Not to mention the thought that if I lose this baby, that might be our last chance as no idea how we would afford another cycle! Are these fears rational!?

I'm coming up for 5 weeks pregnant as first test was last Friday (13th!) and have the next test to do this Friday for the clinic to confirm its still positive, then I guess onto the scan.

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LittleTalks · 10/03/2015 18:49

I just can't believe how sad all this is and how many of us have been so unlucky.

Basically there's something that is probably the ectopic off by my right ovary and my uterus is empty, lots of fluid in my abdomen. I'd had quite a bit of pain, more on my right side. I'd put a lot of it down to trapped wind. When they examined me up there and pushed the probe in that right corner it was so sore. Anyway, emergency theatre for me tonight. Good job I dont have much use for that tube anyway Hmm.

rufio96 · 10/03/2015 19:49

Oh my, what an awful week. So sorry mini, I guess we can hope for a miracle but I'm not holding out. The clinic told me to keep taking my progesterone for now, seems to just be prolonging the inevitable, can't even have a large vodka to drown my sorrows! The EPU rung today and booked an apt for next week, they sounded nice. I don't think I've ever cried so much though.
Sorry too LittleTalks, best of luck with your surgery and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Look after yourself all xx

minibmw2010 · 11/03/2015 14:07

LittleTalks, I hope your surgery went well and you are feeling better. Rufio, I'm glad you've got a date, at least you know things will resolve soon. I feel like my period could start and am having lots of aches and twinges, even though they said it's unlikely to resolve itself as I'm still doing my Gestone injections until we have final confirmation next Tuesday Confused sigh. ...

LittleTalks · 11/03/2015 18:23

How are you holding up Ruffio and Mini? Please look after yourselves.

Feeling horrible post surgery. Turns out it was a total mess in there. The ectopic had exploded out of the end of my tube and landed in my pelvis. There was quite a lot of blood in there (which had been the source of my trapped wind symptoms). They couldn't stop the tube from bleeding so that had to go. Been signed off work for a fortnight. Despite feeling physically bad, I feel emotionally ok. I think because I was preparing myself for weeks of limbo, having a diagnosis and definitive treatment in 24 hours has at least avoided that.

Anyone else got a scan this week? Jellie are you on Friday?

Jelliebabe2 · 11/03/2015 22:26

Dearest ladies what horrid shitty news.

Littletalks - that's so sad, I'm glad they've got you surged quickly. Fingers xd four a really good recovery. You sound really positive which is great.

Rufio and Mini - how're you both doing? Any more news? Flowers

Yes little, my scan is Friday.. Nervous and scared!

Is anyone else taking lubion injections and clexane? My tummy is black and blue but lumpy also from the lubion! Yik, and sore... Doing the injections is getting hard!

Original poster
Verkey81 · 12/03/2015 12:42

How are you feeling little? Really hope you are taking it easy and recovering well

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Original poster
Verkey81 · 12/03/2015 12:47

Jellie i know it's hard with so much bad news not to feel nervous about your scan, but let's hope that some good luck is coming your way and your little embie is growing well [grin

Toes how are you feeling about your scan next week? This week must be worse that the 2ww Sad

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Original poster
Verkey81 · 12/03/2015 12:49

Not having any injections anymore jellie just the crinone gel now! I feel for you still having to do injections, what are they for?

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LittleTalks · 12/03/2015 19:49

Jellie you must be feeling like a pin cushion. I had progesterone suppositories, got so tired of the waxy but better than stabbing I guess!

Feeling a bit more grim today now all the anesthetic and adrenaline is out of my system. So sore and tired. And feeling just so unlucky as well. I felt unlucky when I found out my ovaries were almost burned out at 28. I felt even more unlucky when I found out DHs childhood op had left him with hardly any sperm. But how is it possible to be so unlucky that you actually finish IVF less fertile than when you started? I just feel so isolated. More and more of my friends are having babies, none of them have taken more than a couple of months to conceive.

Sorry for the whinge, just feeling very sorry for myself today.

rufio96 · 12/03/2015 21:43

Hugs LittleTalks xx it's brutal this infertility business.

Good luck with your scan Jellie x

Original poster
Verkey81 · 12/03/2015 23:22

Whinge away little the answer is that it's not fair. It's shitty and unfair and no one deserves to go through what you just have, especially when you've been through so much already. It is grossly unfair and whilst I don't wish this on anyone, I hate how easy it is for some to just bang some sprogs out and don't care when others try so hard and have so much love to give. Cry, scream, shout, Whinge, do what you need to do, but make sure you are resting after your op and recovering well.

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Jelliebabe2 · 13/03/2015 22:22

Little, like Verkey says its bloody unfair! Just poop.

I had my scan today! after all the nerves, crying etc, its TWINS! Both measuring just right and hearts flickering away! Squeeeee! Grin

Original poster
Verkey81 · 13/03/2015 23:57

Some good news at last, congratulations Jellie that's amazing, was that 2 embryos twins or split?

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rufio96 · 14/03/2015 09:21

Twins wow must have been such an amazing moment x

Jelliebabe2 · 14/03/2015 21:37

2 embryo's ! And yes still grinning about it and looking at the pics and taking to each other about the "babies"! Grin

ToesAndFingersCrossed · 14/03/2015 22:10

I just wanted to send my hugs to Little, Rufio and Mini - this is so blooming unfair! Haven't we all been though enough?! Sorry I didn't send well wishes earlier, I've been on a long weekend away with DH which has been very helpful for taking our mind off things - I would definitely recommend it. I didn't think about all our woes the whole time away. As soon as we landed back in the UK, however, it all hit me again! On a positive note, it's been 8 days since the last scan, and I've still not started bleeding (I only had 2 weeks of progesterone, so it's not that keeping it at bay), so the embryo must be clinging on somehow. I hope. I hope we can all get some good news, even if it's just silver linings to our (big thundery) clouds for now! xxx

LittleTalks · 16/03/2015 09:03

Just popping in having taken a few days off MN. Jellie I'm so happy for you, huge congratulations. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.

Toes, really glad you had a nice break. I think next time we have IVF I'm going to book a fab huge holiday after transfer - it's the best distraction. Best of luck for today, I'll be thinking of you.

ToesAndFingersCrossed · 16/03/2015 12:23

Just confirmed that embryo stopped growing at 6w3d - the flicker of a heartbeat we saw last week was gone. Waiting for another scan at EPU and then on to discuss options. The main thing I feel right now is relief. I almost feel guilty about that, but all the not knowing and worry have just evaporated. I'm obviously sad for what could have been, but I just want to take a little while, get through this, and start again with our frostie. I feel like a terrible person for feeling like this :(

Jelliebabe2 · 16/03/2015 19:13

Oh Toes, I'm so sad and sorry for you x

LittleTalks · 16/03/2015 20:02

I'm really sorry to hear that Toes. Please don't beat yourself about how you feel - there's no right or wrong way. I felt similar I think - just relieved to have an answer finally. Be kind to yourself. If you need to offload, I'm happy to listen.

Original poster
Verkey81 · 17/03/2015 14:51

Oh toes I'm so sorry but please feel guilty, there is nothing to feel guilty about, after the last few weeks I'd be surprised if you didn't feel relief having an answer. You've had no control over the last few weeks and now you can take that control back and work out your plan for the future. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling but I can say there is no right or wrong way of feeling about the situation, allow your feelings to flow rather than bottle them up. Guilt over your feelings though is being very harsh on yourself. Look after yourself please

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Original poster
Verkey81 · 17/03/2015 23:58

Clearly I meant *don't feel guilty Sad sorry!

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rufio96 · 18/03/2015 19:56

Hope everyone is doing ok. I don't think this thread has turned out how it was supposed to but I've found it to be very supportive so thanks for starting it Verkey x

We've been to EPU today. They're still saying miscarriage but the scan showed the sac had grown a couple of mm and there could be a foetal pole, no heartbeat though and nothing like where I should be for 9 weeks. So back in another week for another scan. So frustrating. I've decided to stop taking the cyclogest and let nature take it's course. I just hope nature is quick and kind.

Take care all xx

Original poster
Verkey81 · 18/03/2015 21:55

If it's being supportive then that's what it's supposed to do! I felt I couldn't post on the infertility pages because others didn't seem to want us to once got a bfp, but didn't feel ready for the pregnancy stages, exactly for reasons like this! So if even one person finds this a source of support, whether for good or bad news, then it's exactly what it's meant for! I'm so sorry things aren't that clear for you, have the doctors advised on the medication?

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Original poster
Verkey81 · 21/03/2015 12:09

Jellie was thinking about your twins how are you feeling? Are you getting bad symptoms?

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