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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Midwife Appts - husband

43 replies

MissTwister · 09/02/2015 11:02

My husband came to the first MW appointment and will of course come to all the scans but we were wondering if he needs to attend all the follow up MW appointments. For instance what happens at the 17 week one which I am going to in a couple of weeks? Do I need him there?

thanks for advice!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mumofmunchkin · 09/02/2015 11:05

There's no reason he needs to be there, but no reason why not if he wants to. Mostly they just check you are ok, check a urine sample, blood pressure etc

Nolim · 09/02/2015 11:05

That is for the two of you to decide.

At some points all the appointments are routine. My dp wouldnt miss them for the world.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/02/2015 11:08

Mine never came to any apart from the one I had my first Anti D jab, and he only came then as he was off work anyways (works in a school). It's just not necessary for him to be there unless he wants.

Measure bump
Check heartbeat
Do your blood pressure
Check urine
"Are you ok?"
Done. Very short, very routine appts.

He came to all scans though.

Marshpillow · 09/02/2015 11:08

My DH came to all of my appts until he got a new job further away which made it inconvenient for him to just pop out for the appointments. He doesn't need to go to any, but he might enjoy hearing the heartbeat at each appt as my DH did.

comeagainforbigfudge · 09/02/2015 11:09

Depends if you physically need his help I suppose.

My partner came to scans but mw appointments so far, no. Tbh I'd rather he kept his toil/annual leave for when baby comes.

My 17/18 week appoint was with consultant but she checked BP, urine and listened to heartbeat (this is not common though at mw appoints from what I gather) answered lots of random questions I had. (I had a list written down )

(My next appoint is 2mor. Wondering if I'll get bloods done this time?)

hth

RufusTheReindeer · 09/02/2015 11:12

I don't think my husband was at any...he did come to the scans though

Nolim · 09/02/2015 11:14

Oh yeah marshpillow. The heartbeat is a highlight of an otherwise routine appointment.

NerrSnerr · 09/02/2015 11:17

My husband only came to the scans. He wanted to save his annual leave for after the baby arrived.

Bazoo23 · 09/02/2015 11:17

Just the booking in and the scans, in my experience I was in and out at the others. I think I only went to two on my own tho my mum and best friend loved to come with me.

MrSimms · 09/02/2015 11:23

I don't think it ever occurred to me that he should be there. It was "bad" enough that I had to have so much time out of work. I don't remember any men in the waiting room either.

Scans, yes, he woudln't have missed them, but nothing else.

fattycow · 09/02/2015 11:25

Mine comes to all appointments. It gives him the chance to ask his own questions and helps to make it all seem more real to him.

missingpinotgrigio · 09/02/2015 11:29

Hubby was present at Booking in appointment, 1st time Heartbeat checked and more recently the one where my birth plan was discussed. Didn't find it necessary for him to be at other appointments where it was just a check up.
He has attended all scan appointments with me as well.
One tip though, make him pack or at least repack your hospital/labour bag so that once it's crunch time he knows where everything is! I'm 39+3 and he feels quite prepared and It's eased my mind knowing that he knows where stuff is!

Enidblytonrules · 09/02/2015 11:32

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dh came to none of my appointments . It was nearly 30 years ago though and not really expected- and partners were not allowed in to see the scan!!

Dontstepinthecowpat · 09/02/2015 11:33

DH didn't come to any, it didn't occur to us and they would have been quite a distance from work/didn't run on time, etc. I was quite glad he had kept his time for when I had to spend six weeks in hospital before SS1 was born, we were living abroad and had no family nearby so he took lots of time out to spend with me.

Lagoonablue · 09/02/2015 11:34

Dh didn't do any appointments or any scans. Just couldn't get the time off work. I didn't mind.

GoooRooo · 09/02/2015 11:41

DH didn't come to any of my appointments. He came to the scans last time.

This time he'll come to the 20 week scan but isn't coming to the 8 week reassurance scan, or the 12 week dating scan - I'm going to ask my mum if she wants to come and if not I'll go on my own.

I half wish he wasn't going to be at the birth - he did my head in last time

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 11:51

Ex didn't come to any of my two children's appointments, except one scan.
I had 8 scans with DD, 4 with DS.

Currently pregnant with DC3 - partner came to first scan, missed second as couldn't get out of work, coming to third this week, then forth in two weeks, but then none after that. Just no point, they are growth scans and simply will be a quick check and out.

Midwife appointments are really a chance for you to discuss any concerns, my midwife is happy for partner to attend but just be aware they do sometimes like to see you alone so they can ask you if there are any issues at home. It is hard for them to make a fair assessment of your safety (which they have to do) if your partner is always there.

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 11:52

Should have said 'current partner'

New partner's baby (well he's not new, but you know what I mean!)

MeeWhoo · 09/02/2015 11:53

I don't know whether everyone is tested for gestational diabetes in the UK or not, but if you do have to have the bastard glucose tolerance test I would recommend to have someone there with you.
For most people it's just like any other test but for some unlucky ones, like me, it can make you feel really unwell. In fact, i have only fainted twice in my life, in both cases when I had to do this test in each of my pregnancies.

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 11:54

MeeWhoo Oh marvellous, got mine in April.

3rd baby, first GTT.

Christelle2207 · 09/02/2015 12:03

Never occured to me to get dp to come though he did come to scans.
Remember mums are entitled to time off work for apptmts but dads aren't. His boss was fine for him to skive off for scans but to go to every mw apptmt would have been seen as a pisstake. Of course if work doesn't get in the way its not an issue.

Zsazsabinks · 09/02/2015 12:05

First baby DH came religiously to everything

Second baby both scans and some appointments

Third baby, booking appointment and that was it! He did come to the first scan but ended up having to stand outside with a screaming DD2, second scan he'd just started a new job and can't really get lots of time off.

Nothing really happens that they need to be there for, they'll just measure you bump, listen to the heart, feel for baby's position, poss take some blood and urine sample, blood pressure, chat about any concerns that you may have.

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 12:10

Employers must give pregnant employees time off for antenatal care and pay their normal rate for this time off. The father or pregnant woman’s partner has the right to unpaid time off work to go to 2 antenatal appointmen

Redling · 09/02/2015 12:21

Booking in was at our house so he was there. He came to the scans, and the antenatal birth classes at the hospital. It honestly never occurred to me to take him to any others, they were so straightforward and quick and he commutes a long way so he would have missed a day of work for 10 mins. But even without that I just didn't think to have him there. He got enough info on the baby and what it was up to from me!

flipchart · 09/02/2015 12:24

It would never have occured to me or DH to come to the routine check ups!
Nothing interesting happened in them anyway!

He did come to the scans though.

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