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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Midwife Appts - husband

43 replies

MissTwister · 09/02/2015 11:02

My husband came to the first MW appointment and will of course come to all the scans but we were wondering if he needs to attend all the follow up MW appointments. For instance what happens at the 17 week one which I am going to in a couple of weeks? Do I need him there?

thanks for advice!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Alby16 · 09/02/2015 12:48

The only one my husband came to was the 16 week appointment where we heard baby's heartbeat. It was lovely. But as for the rest, it is often a struggle to get time off work although he has never missed a scan xxx

LittleGreyCatwithapinkcollar · 09/02/2015 12:55

My DH doesn't work so has come to everything, but if he were working then he wouldn't have done I don't think, just the scans. But as he's going to be the one at home with the baby once I'm back at work I think it's really important for him to be as involved as possible at this stage! However apart from our preference there has been no reason for him to come along!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 09/02/2015 12:56

My DH hasn't been to any of my midwife appts. He was working abroad for a lot of my first pregnancy and for this one we just decided there was no need. They don't even listen to the heart beat in my area anymore so it's literally just 5 mins of wee check, blood pressure check and any questions. It's entirely up to you whether you want him there or not. If my DH could get out of work id prefer him to stay at home and look after DD so I didn't have to take her with me than come to the appointment himself

sleepybee · 09/02/2015 12:56

My husband came to 10 week booking appointment plus 12 & 20 week scan. He has come to any other midwife check ups although I might make him when it's like 40 weeks as my friend got take by ambulance from 40 week midwife check up to the maternity unit to be induced as her BP went crazy luckily her husband was with her

MeeWhoo · 09/02/2015 12:59

Number3, hopefully you will be absolutely fine, most people are, but I wish someone had warned me that it doesn't agree with everyone.

If you start feeling dizzy, ask for somewhere to lie down asap, when I had to repeat the test on my second pregnancy (as I vomited the glucose before they could take the blood sample first time round), they had me lying down the whole time and then I had no more problems!

RedSal · 09/02/2015 13:10

my partner has been to all the scans (we've had a few extra ones due to baby being in unhelpful positions) and all the MW appts, until the last 2 when i have been on mat leave. this worked for us, as we work in the same place and carshare, and we were able to get lots of the appts at the end of the clinic meaning only leaving work slightly early.

if it had been tricky with work, i think we wld have prioritised booking in and the scans. that said, i really liked having him there all the time (think he did too) and it was nice for him to get the know the MW too - it has been the same one all the way thru, bar once. however, it's sod's law that one of the two appts with me on my own was quite a stressful one where they suddenly said i cldn't go to the MW centre for the birth as planned from day1, despite no health issues having changed. i wished he'd been there then, both for moral support and to think straight and ask Qs! he is coming tomorrow as I am having a sweep and not looking fwd to it (unless baby comes tonight, fingers crossed....)

sorry for long reply!

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 13:16

Is it like a normal waiting room between tests? it's fasting, then blood test, then an hour, then glucose then an hour then blood test then another hour then blood test?

I'd definitely be on the floor by then haha

Original poster

MissTwister · 09/02/2015 13:37

Thanks for all the advice!

My HR told me men was now entitled to time off for all appointments - has this changed or was she wrong?

OP posts:

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 13:40

She was wrong - check the Gov website.
www.gov.uk/government/news/new-right-for-fathers-and-partners-to-attend-antenatal-appointments

Autumn2014 · 09/02/2015 13:44

mine only came to scans or when I got admitted. my routine MW appts were only quick in and out type appts and it would have taken him over an hour round trip for 10 mins.

aneesa28 · 09/02/2015 14:45

Number3cometome You're called in for the fasting blood test and immediately given the glucose solution to drink, then they send you back into the waiting room armed with a cup of sugary water to consume within five minutes. It's a two hour wait from there. You will be called back in for the second blood test and that's it!

Take a book, kindle, tablet pc or magazines to occupy your time as physical activity and interaction should be limited as a requisite of the test. I asked to speak to the midwife in charge for a chat halfway since I hadn't seen mw following 16 week appt and wasn't due 28 week appt for a further two weeks, which broke up the two hour wait nicely.

Number3cometome · 09/02/2015 14:56

aneesa28

Ok brilliant, that sounds much more doable!

aneesa28 · 09/02/2015 15:16

comeagainforbigfudge If you had any problems with your bloods at booking appt then they do normally test bloods again at 28 week appt.

cowbiscuits · 09/02/2015 15:18

DH went to all my scans but it never occurred to me to bring him to the midwife appointments, especially later on when they were more frequent and routine. He came to the post-natal ones when he was on paternity leave.

The midwives do like to see all women on their own at some point so they can ask if everything is alright and give them a chance to speak about any violence or other abuse in the relationship.

comeagainforbigfudge · 09/02/2015 15:19

Thanks aneesa28 I couldn't have had any problems as no-one has mention anything since

Pandora37 · 09/02/2015 15:21

I always feel a bit sorry for men at booking appointments. Especially with a first baby so it's all new and exciting to them and it ends up being all about blood tests and paperwork. I think it's better for them to go the later appointments where you can hear the heartbeat and find out where the baby is laying, that's the exciting bit.

Anyway, your partner is welcome to go to all of your appointments but don't be surprised if your midwife gets you to go off somewhere on your own together as they need to ask about domestic abuse and obviously can't do it in front of him.

Heels99 · 09/02/2015 15:23

No. Came to a couple of scans. No need to come to midwives appointments

slightlyconfused85 · 09/02/2015 15:49

It never occurred to me for so to come to these routine appointments. He comes to scans, we can't both be taking time off work that often!

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