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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Could you keep it a secret?

42 replies

Tippytoes · 17/10/2006 16:02

Did you wait the usual 3 months before you told anyone you were pregnant, or could you just not wait and had to tell people - if so, what was the earliest?

I have just discovered I am pregnant (5 weeks) and I am having a job holding back!

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Munz · 17/10/2006 16:03

told the parents at 4 weeks (immediatly on getting a BFP tbh) then close friends we lived with on 5 weeks, then the rest of the family once we'd had the m/w apt at 11 weeks and heard the placenta and heartbeat.

Posey · 17/10/2006 16:06

Just me and dh 1st time. Loved it just being our knowledge, didn't want to share and it become public property too soon.
2nd time very blase, told everyone then had a molar pregnancy (so had a lot of explaining to do).
3rd time told immediate family and bf only.

JessaJackOLantern · 17/10/2006 16:08

Congratulations!!

Told my dad a week or so before 12 weeks. Didn't tell DH's family until just before 12 weeks (although they were already very suspicious as I had had a non-alcoholic, very grey and nauseous christmas at their house!!)
Told my boss at about 8 weeks (she is a good friend too) because I wanted her to know why I was looking so ill!!

bubbaOOOOOOO · 17/10/2006 16:09

I told everyone at 4 weeks-couldn't keep it a secret!.

Original poster

Tippytoes · 17/10/2006 16:15

Oh good, I am glad I am not the only one! Have told Mum and 2 of my closest friends and told them to keep quiet, but I am desperate to tell everyone. May wait just a few weeks..... maybe

OP posts:

Daisypops · 17/10/2006 16:16

We were planning on keeping it a secret til about 16 weeks just to be on the safe side but I bled at 10 weeks and was taken to hospital so our families and my work had to know. Luckily everything is still ok. Its so difficult to keep it quiet I remember feeling quite nervous and having butterflies because of our little secret. Lovely!

isntbeingamummyyummy · 17/10/2006 16:22

Told everyone the weekend we found out at 4 weeks. Too excited and it had taken us 18 months and was just bursting with happiness. Still am and he is 6 months now! Also I'm a bit of a big mouth so I couldn't keep it in even if I wanted to!

evilanniedividedin2byalargeaxe · 17/10/2006 16:24

Am 18 weeks, have told parents (because I get ill v early on) and our siblings. Not told work yet, or any friends. But this no 4 so not such hot news as previously!

SoupDragon · 17/10/2006 16:24

I had no problem not telling anyone til after the 12 week scan.

Of course there were some people I didn't tell til after I had the baby but they weren't people who see me obviously

lulumama · 17/10/2006 16:26

no!!!!

told parents straight after i weed on the stick & friends too.....

felt i would tell people if i had a miscarriage, so why not tell them the positive news

downside is you have 35 weeks of people asking you about the pregnancy!!!

twocatsonthebed · 17/10/2006 16:28

We told very few people, because of a previous miscarriage, so we didn't feel safe until after the 12 week scan. Although having said that, I had to tell my boss at work, as I was nearly dead with sickness, and not coming in very much...

LunarSea · 17/10/2006 17:25

Told family, and a few friends after 12 week scan - still haven't told work at 17.5 weeks as I'm in the middle of becoming officially homebased and want to get the paperwork for that out of the way first so they can't back down on it. Last thing I want is to have to go back into the office every day, as well as juggling school AND nursery.

MKG · 17/10/2006 17:32

I can't keep my mouth shut. With my first I didn't want to tell, but my dad was losing he fight with cancer so we told. It was nice because that was the last conversation with me that I know he understand. He past a week later. I think it helped my family to know early because in a sad time, we had something to look forward to.

trixymalixy · 17/10/2006 17:45

We just couldn't wait to tell people!!

We told both sets of parents immediately and weren't going to tell anyone else.

But I just couldn't not tell my sister and DH's brother and sister guessed anyway because I was driving at a family party and I hate driving!!

Had to tell my boss at 8 weeks as was off feeling dizzy and felt like I was really lying to him if I didn't plus didn't want it to go down on my sickness record.

It was made pretty obvious to the girls at work I go to the gym with as I had to tell the gym instructor and she kept telling me to take it easy during the classes and telling everybody to give me loads of room and not bump into me!!!

Our close friends guessed as it was pretty obvious as I drink so much normally!!

So basically just about everybody knew before the 12 week scan!!

NAB3 · 17/10/2006 17:47

1st time planned to wait until 12 weeks/1st scan but told at 7 weeks I would loose baby by horrible midwife. Had scan at 8 weeks + 3 days and all was well as could be. Decided to tell inlaws then so they would have had the happiness of knowing their first Grandchild was on the way, even if I then miscarried. Boy born at 38 weeks, now 5yrs 7 months.

2nd time we told before the 12 weeks as it coincided with Christmas.

3rd time we told at 5 weeks but then m/c so 4th time decided to wait until scan and told at around 14 weeks.

FreakyFloss · 17/10/2006 17:49

i've been thinking about this a bit today. Last time dp and i disagreed about whether to keep ds. as a consequence a few of my close friends and work colleagues knew, as well as my mum. i discovered last week that i was pregnant again. told two friend and my mother and of course on here. have found in rl it is a lot easier to not tell people and then tell people on a need to know basis in the event of miscarriage. in fact i still haven't told one friend who i had told i was pregnant. so next time on balance i think i will keep my mouth shut for at least 9/10 weeks.

WinkyWinkola · 17/10/2006 17:53

Have you decided yet, TippyToes? Morning sickness may decide for you and make it obvious to everyone! Big congratulations to you. I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy.

With my first, we told my parents and in-laws-to-be at six weeks. Got a very sniffy response from in-laws as we weren't married yet - still had two weeks to go. They behaved as if we had brought shame on their family.

This time around I told my mum and dad as soon as I knew and the rest after the 12 week scan. I really enjoyed keeping the knowledge of a new baby among a few people.

Once we'd told the in laws, they went mental and phoned about 100 people about it in two hours. Bang went my serenity!

It depends, I think, on what number baby it is. The first is very hard to keep quiet about because it's so exciting! The only trouble is if there's a problem then you have to tell lots of people about a very personal situation.

kama · 17/10/2006 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

binkacat · 17/10/2006 17:53

I had to tell my boss the day I took my pg test as due to the nature of my work I couldn't go to work. Infact he knew before my hubby. I told my friends at the same time, although they all guessed why work had suddenly found me alternative work.

DH didn't tell his mum until I was 7months pregnant and banned me from telling her. I still have no idea to this day why.

bewilderbeast · 17/10/2006 17:56

Couldn't wait, I developd this really odd paranoia that if I didn't tell one friend a day for the first month or so that something bad would happen. I did only tell friends and family though and then just let the news sort of filter outwards from there.

NatalieJane · 17/10/2006 17:59

With DS, we told family almost as soon as we knew but kept it quiet from everyone else, with this one, we told MIL when we found out (because we see her every weekend), the plan was to not tell anyone else else till we could get down to my mums to tell her face to face, but at 6 weeks I woke up one morning with a very obvious bump, and DS's nursery teacher asked when I was due, and so most of the mums followed suit, and my mum was one of the last to know at 7 weeks!

pointyfangedWeredog · 17/10/2006 18:00

As lulumama, I would have told people if I'd miscarried so felt ok telling people as soon as I knew I was pregnant.

Gwu · 17/10/2006 19:11

I had to tell some people about my current pregnancy because ds was in hospital for 4 weeks during my first 2 months of pregnancy. Because I couldn't go into xray with him and because other things gave it away, the professional staff (who gossiped and ended up telling many of the other staff) and some of my family ended up finding out.

I didn't tell anyone else about this pregnancy till I was 20 weeks pregnant and some people still don't know (I'm 24 weeks pregnant and can still hide my bump). I've had 3 miscarriages so far and just felt that I'd tempt fate if I told people. I didn't tell anyone apart from dh about my last 2 miscarriages. This is because many people think my ds is a real handful (he has severe allergies) and blamed him for my 1st miscarriage.

zombiebridepenny · 17/10/2006 19:59

I told my sister at 5 wks, my parents at 9wks and friends at 12wks ....apart from those who phoned me when I was ill and I had to tell them at about 8wks. I hated keeping it a secret it was depressing...tell who you most trust at first.

zombiebridepenny · 17/10/2006 20:00

oh I am 18wks now

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