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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Could you keep it a secret?

42 replies

Tippytoes · 17/10/2006 16:02

Did you wait the usual 3 months before you told anyone you were pregnant, or could you just not wait and had to tell people - if so, what was the earliest?

I have just discovered I am pregnant (5 weeks) and I am having a job holding back!

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lipsbite · 17/10/2006 20:04

many congrats Tippytoes xx

i told my Dp (obviously!!), mum, mums bf at the time, my brother, Dp's 2 sisters and his mum...oh and my boss at work that i was 4 weeks pg (as soon i did the pg test i told them as didnt know i was pg till then).....

then it wasnt till i was 11 weeks and 6 days that i told everyone as i was showing them my first scan but 1 workmate sussed it out already as had a tiny bit of belly on me!

awwwww sweet memories (my DD had just turned 2 2 weeks ago)

earthtomummy · 17/10/2006 20:05

I'm like you - can't keep it secret! I reason that if I had a m/c I'd want my close friends and family to know and support me. However, sometimes i think people look a bit askance if you tell them early and that it makes the pregnancy go on forever! Saying that i only told close friends and family. Also was v.v.v. sick with the last 2 pregnancies so it was kind of obvious - either they realised I was wearing travel bands or thought I had some weird fetish for 1980s style tennis accessories.

Olihan · 17/10/2006 20:08

When we found out I was pg with ds we decided straight away not to say anything until 12 weeks. That resolve lasted around 10 mins and we told pretty much everyone we knew!!!

With dd we told family and close friends straight away, then everyone else at about 8 weeks.

This one we told family straight away again, some close friends after a couple of weeks then the news sort of filtered out. I think there's probably still people I haven't told but I can't remember who knows and who doesn't! It was quite nice having a sort of secret this time, and getting less of the 'how are you feeling?' from absolutely everyone.

mummy23 · 17/10/2006 20:16

Hi tippitoes, some people like to tell the world there pregnant and som keep it quite until the 3 months has passed.
Can i ask where abouts you live please? Tell me to mind my own business if you dont want to say!(its just that someone i know has told me the same thing and i was wondering if it was you!)

DumbledoresGirl · 17/10/2006 20:29

I have been pregnant 4 times and kept it secret from all but dh for about 12 weeks with the first three. With the youngest, I started bleeding and was rushed to hospital at 9 weeks so our parents and families found out rather abruptly then that we were having Number 4. However, there were question marks over the health of the baby all through the pregnancy and I actually hardly told any of the people I met every day (eg in the playground) that I was pregnant until about 38 weeks! Some people guessed but most didn't! (baby was fine btw, but I couldn't face telling people I was pg in case he was not)

SCARErenity · 17/10/2006 20:46

With DS1 I rang pretty much everyone I knew within about 5 minutes of getting a positive, and I told work at 7 weeks because I had had problems with bleeding and my job could be quite physical. I did the same with DS2 (and also told work straight away this time, had weeks of bleeding with him too)
Pg 3 I mc the week after I told everyone and I was so glad I did because everyone (except work ) pulled out all the stops to support me.
Did the same again with DD, but I think it would have been obvious anyway as I was sick as a dog from about 3 weeks until I had her!

I'm really curious about people who manage to hide it so long, do people really not notice? I start losing the ability to do my trousers up from about 8 weeks! I really can't imagine getting to 3 months with nobody noticing?

DumbledoresGirl · 17/10/2006 20:50

I felt that I was the talk of the playground when I was pg with No 4. I thought everyone must surely notice my bump, but I decided that unless people actually confronted me with the question, I would not volunteer the information. Still, I thought they all knew behind my back.

It wasn't until I actually started telling people at 38 weeks and I saw their complete and obviously genuine surprise that I realised that in fact many of them had had no idea whatsoever! Ds3 was born in February so for many weeks I had been swathed in a winter coat, but even so......

SweetyDarling · 17/10/2006 20:51

Waited for 12 week scan and was so glad we did as had a missed mc and could not have dealt with constantly explaining to people. At least I then had the control of the people I told about our loss rather - you want fewer people involved in that than in the happy giggly bit!

bumperlicious · 17/10/2006 21:35

I am 5 weeks too, and have told more people than my DH would like, including the girls who work in Neal's Yard Remedy near me (they were so ecstatic though!). I'm finding it hard to keep a secret, but I am also weary about anything going wrong then having to explain everything, but I'm the sort of person that would telling everyone anyway! Trying very hard to keep it to myself, mostly for DH's sake, beacuse he is very weary but also very private.

ProfYaffle · 17/10/2006 21:42

We told our parents straight away and then just friends/work colleagues who we would have told or would have had to know if I'd m/c. Others we told after the 1st scan which was 9 weeks.

ingym23 · 17/10/2006 21:45

This is my second pregnancy, with my first we waited for my first "confirmed" scan at 7 weeks to tell family (had earlier scan at 5 weeks but couldn't see anything). Waited till about 12 weeks before telling anyone else (friends, work colleagues).

This time round, had same early scans but just told everyone whenever. I wasn't particularly superstitious about something "bad" happening just because I let friends know at say 9 rather than 12 weeks...

superloopy · 17/10/2006 23:29

With both my pregnancies I have waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone which was really hard. Sadly my second pregnancy ended in a missed M/C last week at 13 weeks so I then had to tell everyone the bad news.
I think for the next I will tell close family earlier and all others when the baby is born.

flibbertyjibbet · 17/10/2006 23:53

After mc at 12 weeks first pregnancy, with DS1 then DS2 I decided to only tell anyone when we were confident that there was a baby on the way, at 15 weeks, rather than that I was pregnant, ie early on. Whether you tell or not depends on whether you would want everyone to know if anything went wrong. And everyone tells everyone else when someone is pregnant - weeks and months after mc people would rush up and say congratulations then just die of embarrassment when I told them the bad news. Everyone will be happy whenever you give the good news! And (god forbid) should anything go wrong, you can always tell a few people for support. As its winter you can keep a jacket on or big jumper and hide it better than in summer - I went back to work after xmas last year, took off my jacket and everyone gasped at the 22 week bump I had kept secret from all but my boss!!

vesela · 18/10/2006 10:46

I told my parents, sister and brother straight away, and a couple of close friends (who knew we'd been trying) at 8 weeks. My parents-in-law and SIL/BIL about then, too (I wanted to know if SIL recommended her doctor).

For other people we waited until after the 1st trimester, but for some reason I found it more difficult telling people then. When it's early on, you're telling people that it's fingers crossed, early days, anything might happen etc - whereas after the 1st trimester you feel as if you're supposed to be making some big confident announcement that you're having a baby on such-and-such a date when the fact is you still don't feel that confident, even though the risk of something going wrong by then is much less...

There are some friends I still haven't told at 18 weeks. I'd better get round to it or they'll be offended.

busybusymum · 18/10/2006 10:51

congratulations to those who are expecting.
We didnt tell anyone until 3 months. No even our own LO's.

Original poster

Tippytoes · 18/10/2006 16:51

Thanks so much for all your responses. I have now told my Mum, Sister, 2 friends and 1 close work friend (and obviously DH knows!!). I just couldn't help myself.

Like you say, Vasela, it does seem easier to explain earlier, by saying 'its early days yet etc. etc'

Mummy23 - I live in North Wales.

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doghouse · 18/10/2006 17:27

We didn't tell anyone til 14 weeks (when we had 1st scan) and it was lovely just having the secret between myself, DH & the dog! However, when we told people they weren't at all surprised as I am 37 and we got married in May so I guess they thought we would probably 'get on with it'! No-one actually 'guessed' though, although MIL reckons she 'saw it in my eyes'! LOL!! The thing is, once it is out in the open, you do rather become 'public property'!
Congratulations BTW

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