Husband believes he would have been better at giving birth

[Quillstar]

My husband really annoys me by being critical of how I gave birth. We just had baby number 3 and she was induced. It took a couple of days to get going and admittedly I was a bad patient by the end but he keeps telling me I wasn't pushing properly in two of the births and that being mad with nurses / doctors was crazy and if it was him he would have been more cooperative. I'm not proud of my labour skills but to be honest I got the babies out safely and I may have to resort to violence if he doesn't give up criticising me. Maybe he thinks he is being funny but it is really hitting my self esteem. As if he would know what labour bloody feels like and after one completely natural birth I know the real thing is not half as bad as being induced for me. How can I toughen up on this subject?

my OH told me i wasn't pushing correctly in labour, i may have sworn a lot at him at the time - turned out that baby was stuck and back-back.

This is abuse!

Seriously ltb and come home!

Even without the undermining nastiness over the pregnancy and birth his actions sound terrible. Moaning about the responsibilities of family and wanting to hang out with younger colleagues (and women?) instead. Being begrudging and rude about an eternity ring.

So you gave up a good job in the uk for this?

Best thing to do would probably be to head to the uk without him asap.

Have you even read him the riot act over all this?

And as for his comments about birth, how dare he? he can fuck off to the......and some more!

I am also with the melons! Before I gave birth to dc1 I researched pregnancy, labour, birth and babies to within an inch of my life. I thought I was well prepared for what lay ahead. When I was actually in labour (also overseas) I screamed so much I got moved to an abandoned bit of the hospital where I couldn't disturb the midwives who were trying to get some sleep! Nothing could have prepared me for the pain. I'm now due with dc4 and although I know it is going to hurt, and not be pleasant, it still won't be untill I am actually in labour again that I remember the true pain. Labour is bloody hard, you get through it what ever way you can. As far as I am concerned you are amazing and your husband could do with having a read of this thread!

I'm sorry op, he sounds unpleasant. I have been through very similar with my ex.

Do you feel stuck in his country? If you left would you have any support? Would he agree to you moving back to the UK? Do you speak the language?

I imagine his comments and attitude may be indicative of a very nasty streak, which might emerge in glorious technicolor if you ever split up (it did with my ex)

You excuse his inexcusable comments by saying he speaks without thinking - he really doesn't. This is actually what he thinks and believes about you and your children. You would really be advised to leave him and come back to the uk.

OP you do realise that the comments he's making are actually nothing to do with the birth or your DD?
They are to do with how he feels about you.

Get a TENS machine and fit it to his abdomen, you control the dial. Progressively turn up the settings and activate it more regularly as labour pains would progress to every 30 seconds at the highest setting.

Arrogant twat!

Or show him this.

Wait til you are both back in the UK once the secondment has finished, then dump him and say "Do you think this is punishment from God for you being such a total cunt?"

At first I just thought your husband was being a prize A twat and you should have told him to shut the fuck up because he was sounding like a patronising, idiotic shit.

With all the other stuff though I can't really see why you are with him to begin with.

Of course, now you're living abroad, you can't go back to the UK unless he gives you permission to go back with the children, due to the Hague Convention. That said, if you said "hey I am bored here, can I take the kids, go home, and see you back at the end of the secondment" he would probably say sign the paper.

Gives him more time to drink with his colleagues and shag around.

Just ask him how he would feel if he had to piss out a golf ball!!! The cheek if some men!