gender disappointment?

[dy14]

I am 20w with DC3 I already have two boys. Which are the best! But me and my partner mostly me have decided this will be our last baby for our family. My part ers really hoping for girl as I am to. and I think I will be quite upset if its not. it sounds terrible and I no some people on here get quite touchy with the subject as ive seen. I am very greatful to have two healthy boys already and be pregnant as far as I am with a healthy baby. but I really would love a baby girl!

I think the term is sex (biological), not gender.

Each to their own I suppose. But I fail to understand how anybody could be disappointed to find out that they were having a healthy son or daughter. I also fail to understand why anybody would try to conceive, for the sole purpose of having a child of a specific sex. For those who fall into either of these two categories, I do hope your children never find out!

I've only got one child at the moment- a daughter- and whilst I was pregnant I was really hoping for a girl. However I didn't find out as I thought- and still think- that I wouldn't be disappointed with my baby when it was here, so there was no point in finding out halfway through and potentially worrying over nothing.

My DC3 was a third girl, we found out at the 20 weeks scan. We were kind of hoping she might be a boy at the time, simply because we thought it would be a nice family balance. It is absolutely NOT the reason we had a 3rd child, we wanted a third child, not necessarily a boy.

We were kind of deflated when we found out she was a girl, for about 10 minutes, but happy that all was well, and happy to welcome another daughter to our family.

I think it's a good idea to find out if you can, as if you have another boy, you can get used to the idea. I cannot imagine DD3 being anything other than herself now and I am thrilled to have 3 girls.

I think the way you feel is normal, it doesn't mean that you will love another boy any less, or that wanting a girl devalues your other sons, most people have a preference when they are pregnant, even if they don't admit it.

I think you are just being honest, after two boys it's not unreasonable to want a girl. Of course you will love him if it's a boy. Good luck with your pregnancy, whatever gender it is.

Thats not necessary for my discussion so I will take that along with a pinch of salt

I never conceived for a specific sex for obvious reasons its impossible as 50/50. But as I explained a little girl would be nice after having two boys if not then thats fine. Is it not ok to wish a little?!

Thanks Bettyboop u 2

I think it is very natural for a woman to want a baby girl, If the baby is a boy you and DH will love him absolutely and unconditionally even if you always do wonder what it would have been like to have a girl.

i have sons. i have never wondered what life would be like with a daughter. i am grateful for the gorgeous boys i have and i enjoy our lives together.
i am not sure why it is natural to want a girl?

Thats nice. but maybe respect the high majority of woman that would like a girl after two boys or so. Its just 'would like' a girl not saying would be so upset and not want to continue and never will have kids again attitude!

Zzz

Yes it is ok to wish a little, but that's not what you said in your opening post to which I responded and you told me I was talking crap.

If you had said "really excited to be pregnant with number 3, have a slight preference for a girl, but we'll adore our baby whichever it is" That is different to "quite upset" "feeling terrible" phrases you used.

Oh I'm off, but now I look like the meany bad guy and you've changed your posts which make you look more reasonable by the minute.

Such a meany!

crownjewel my parents said they wanted another boy after my brother. They got twin girls instead . It never upset me to hear that and I did ask!

I think perhaps it would be best you don't find out so when you give birth you will be so pleased to meet this new little person you won't care about the sex.

I think you should be kind to yourself, you're not a bad person to have a preference, lots of people do! It's natural. When you do find out, if it is a boy I'm sure you will be happy as long as it's healthy. Even if it takes you some time to get used to the idea. Maybe you should try to tell people you're not finding out the sex? So if it is a boy, you've got time to get used to the idea on your own, before you have the inevitable stupid comments from people?
Once the babys here, he/she will be your baby and you'll love them for all they are. Ignore posters saying 'poor boy' I think that's quite nasty. I'm sure if it is a boy he will be very loved.

I just posted this post as I knew there were other ladies feeling the same so wanted to hear if anyone hoped for a girl or boy and got opposite and how they felt and if its different when you see your little baby on screen. Not trying to make you meany at all. Im new to these forums and just wanted to hear other people stories

Thought I was hungry and it was my stomach growling til I saw the mil with her teeth bared and frothing from the mouth! (the bad thing is that's a fairly accurate description of how her scowl genuinely looked) she's got some ass kissing to do when my princess arrives

Was a bit about announcement ds3 was on the way.
When people were voicing their disappointment for me I turned into a tiger mama.
Told myself being a mom to 3 boys was going to be perfect and it is.

My Nan frequently tells my Dad that she was disappointed when he was born as she wanted a girl after first having a boy, she had picked out a girls name was all ready for her daughter. She also tells him that she wouldn't swap him for the world and that she is very happy with her two boys. I don't think it has ever effected him. But then once she forgot about Baby Boy, Baby Girl and got to know the little human she had created she never had a moments regret.

bellejessleo

Yeah exactly. Some days im just excited to have whatever boy or girl. and some days a really picture myself with girl and vice versa but for my OH sake I would love us to have our third and final to be a girl! otherwise if not obviously I will get over it!

p.s if thats your childrens names bellejessleo lovely names!

Exactly I think there are far worse cases of children been told stuff when they are grown up!

Totally normal and I've posted about this so many times. It is fine to have a preference for one sex or the other as long as it doesn't impede the relationship you have with your baby once it arrives.

I'm not ashamed to admit I bawled my eyes out when I found out DS2 was a boy, not because I was disappointed I was having a boy but because I was so sad that the picture in my head of my daughter wasn't going to be realised. But was I disappointed when DS2 arrived? Was I fuck! I was over the moon delighted, exactly the same way I was when DS1 arrived. My sons are my world, cute, funny, adorably cuddly in equal measure. It was just that I was sad that I would miss out on the experience of raising a daughter, that's all. I have a wonderful relationship with my mum and I would love to replicate that.

But bizarrely enough, if DH and I were to have another, I'd love yet another boy! So you can't help how you feel, you're not feeling disappointment in the person you're creating but you're allowed to feel sad that the picture in your head isn't coming to fruition.

That said, if I were to have a third, I definitely wouldn't find out the sex (didn't with DS1, did with DS2)

dy14, do come back Friday and let us know! I'm having a gender scan tomorrow to find out what dc3 will be! Have a boy and a girl already though so I doing really mind. But I did want a girl second time round after having a boy.
They're my cats names! Lol.

strokethefurrywall

Exactly its because you have this picture in your head your disappointed really! but I agree once baby is here you forget about all that. im sure with dc2 I wanted a girl but never been happier seeing my two boys play togeather they are amazing with each other older one totally looks out for younger one!

bellejessleo hahaha thats so funny. Whoops sorry! All the best tomorrow!

At the 20 week scan for DC2 I found out we were having another boy and had to try really hard to hold back the tears. I sobbed all the way home, and cried on and off for 2-3 days. I had always wanted a daughter, and had the name picked out since my teens (am mid 30s now). Also DS1 has developmental issues that boys in my family have had, whereas girls don't. We knew this would be our last child due to many complications getting pregnant the 2nd time, and it was something we had always agreed anyway. So I grieved the loss of the daughter I will never have... And then moved on and started imagining what ds2 would be like. He is currently asleep on my breast, 12 weeks old, and I adore him.

There is nothing wrong with WANTING a girl, as you have two boys.
It's all about handling it if it turns out to be a boy.
You need to love him just as much (and I bet you will)!

When I was pregnant, if I had the choice I'd have liked a girl and was slightly disappointed when we found out it was a boy. I kind of hoped that they'd got it wrong BUT now he's here and amazing and I couldn't love anyone any more.

What you think you want isn't what you actually need sometimes. I needed my wonderful son, to love and to teach me a lot of lessons about myself.