Most annoying things people say to you when you are pregnant?

[AlpacaYourThings]

I'm 16+3 and still have chronic nausea and sickness.

If one more person says to me, "Oh, I thought it stopped after 12 weeks" or "You'll be fine by X weeks" I don't think I can be held responsible for the hormonal rage that will ensue.

fucking ginger biscuits are the bane of my existence!!! I am ready to start carrying packs of them round to bludgeon people with grumble grumble

I get a lot of 'Oh... you're young to be pregnant..." I'm 25 and already have a 2 year old.. but thanks...

People can't help commenting on the size of the bump either, and sometimes they'll have debates on whether it's big or small...

I find most of you rather arsey TBH- some of the comments are unreasonable (some downright awful) but most are harmless chit-chat and I wouldn't have had a problem with them when I was pregnant.

It is true that if you have very fixed ideas/ideals on parenting you will almost certainly find yourself doing the opposite at some point. And while I agree personality doesn't change per se you might find yourself drawing on reserves of patience you never thought you had. Also it's about the biggest lifestyle change most people will have so the way you react to those changes can feel like a change of personality.

Also, no matter how "hands on" the OH is, if you are the one at home you will be doing the vast amount of baby related stuff and be the primary carer, which is a tough slog at times.

Peartrotter I think you should realise that this thread is for people to offload a bit and have the chance to groan and mumble about stuff with no repercussions- it's okay to do that in an environment like this. I can't imagine that anyone is actually going to say to the people making the stupid and irritating comments that that is what they're doing. Just let us be eh?

Pear most of my fellow mums admit it isn't a change of personality but a change of role. Which society doesn't want you to admit! Far easier to imagine women LOVE mopping up crap once they have a baby (and much of society cannot handle such subtle things as "love my baby, hate poo" or "I am capable of caring for another and still wanting to look/feel good now and then myself").
And it all starts with those well meaning pregnancy comments...

I wish my personality changed so I could find laundry and sucking snot out with a mouth aspirator equally endearing to cute smiles and cuddles. But no. Evil shallow mummy.

If you don't want a lot of puerile comments don't announce your pregnancy until it shows or you have no choice (at work)

The minute the conversation turns to the pg say you're fine and change the subject!

Believe me a lot of people feel they have to pay homage to the pregnant woman and make pregnancy conversation even if they are bored rigid by the number of pg women around them and the whole business.

Fwiw I hated being pregnant and the last thing I wanted was people going on and on about the revolting situation. I changed the subject immediately.

Now talking about the beloved, perfect, angelic DD was totally different

I hate the comments but hate to say it I've made a few myself. People just seem to need to make small talk around expectant mums.

When I first discovered I was pregnant there was lots of "put your feet up" "don't do the ironing" "you can't hoover" and now I'm 36weeks there is lots of "you need to sleep now" "the pain of childbirth is the worst thing you will ever experience" "you must be nervous for the birth"
It does grate on me, I have gotten to the point where I just laugh and remind people I will do as I please because I have had a wonderful pregnancy so far and look forward to meeting my baby!

Excuse me peartrotter for using this thread to air some things that annoy me.

I have an abundance of patience, smile and nod and say thank you to all the people who comment on pregnancy. I don't bring my sickness up, unless asked and even then it's only to people who were sick themselves when pregnant so will understand.

But even though I have patience, it doesn't mean these comments don't affect me.

Coming here and reading that others have similar issues re comments makes me feel I'm not alone. That affords me the strength to keep being polite and not lose the rag with the umpteenth well meaning comment from a near-stranger who is only talking to me because they heard I was pregnant.

Because despite what the common preconceptions are pregnancy is not wonderful for everyone. It's been pretty hellish for me so far. It will of course be magical when the baby arrives and all will be forgotten. (It bloody well better be)

In the meantime I'm going to grumble away here. Because it's "not on" to grumble in real life (and dispel all the wonders of pregnancy)

How to annoy a pregnant woman - come on a thread on the Pregnancy Board about things that annoy pregnant women and tell us all we're arsey/hormonal/self-obsessed/have invited the comments by talking about ourselves/shouldn't be annoyed/should be grateful to be pregnant as it's a magical time/it's harmless chit chat.

I'm 40+1. I've had low bp, low B12, spent a couple of hours in hospital yesterday being monitored because of reduction in movement, none of my shoes fit me and even if they did I can't reach my shoe laces, can't go for an invigorating walk to get things moving since yesterday I fell on my arse in the ice and snow and would rather not do so again, am uncomfortable sitting, lying (heartburn), and am dealing with a 3 year old.

Being told, maybe it's twins/are you sure there's only one in there is not harmless chit chat. It's basically saying, you are so much bigger than you should be, no way there's only one in there. I am not overweight, am expecting an 8lb baby, measuring normal for stage of my pregnancy. And I've heard this 'joke' on average once a week for the last 4 months. It wasn't funny the first time. Perhaps I should comment on people's weight every time I see them? Had a good Christmas have we? It's just chit chat right?

So THIS arsey, hormonal, self-obsessed pg woman would like to say FUCK OFF with your annoying comments! Go and start and AIBU about arsey, hormonal, self-obsessed women if you want but leave us alone!

Yes and challenging another adult on what they eat implying they are a bad mum and harming their baby is not harmless chit chat either. It's insulting, rude and sexist/patronising.
Yet plenty of us have smiled and nodded in real life.

Maybe we should answer back in real life not in here. You'd get fewer morons thinking pregnant ladies can't eat cheddar or marmite or whatever and refusing to sell it (as sometimes comes up in the paper).

Brilliant post Calling

'Try ginger biscuits or ginger tea' when you've had hyperemesis and been hospitalised and on a drip.

'Your bump is really small'

'Wait until baby is here and then you'll have no life / be miserable / never sleep / have holidays / have fun or a anything good ever again

People are dicks.

Well if you come on a pregnancy thread complaining about people who, by and large, are making concerned comments, commiserating with you, offering what they think is useful advise and try to make them feel like shit, then you are being offensive.

Being pregnant doesn't make you special as we all (including the advice/chit chat offerers) have been pregnant and maybe have appreciated the advice/support offered.

If you don't want to discuss the pg then change the subject

One day you will do exactly the same thing!

I don't think I'm special jolly . I'm overdue, uncomfortable and would like the baby to be born sooner rather than later!

I don't see how calling me huge asking if it's twins at full term is offering helpful advice, unless that person happen to be my mw or sonographer and are scanning me at that moment and have clearly made a massive fuck up during my whole pg .

One day you will do exactly the same thing! What? piss off pg women?

The whole point of this thread is for people to say the things that have annoyed them when pregnant. I did not say "Fuck off" however much I wanted to to everyone who made an annoying comment to me during this or my last pg. That's why I'm venting on this thread instead. I would rather not change the subject here on the pregnancy board even though I would do it in real life because irl everyone thinks that there is currently nothing to my life except being pg

And putting a grin doesn't make your post any less annoying.

I am so sorry that I and many of the other self-obsessed, hormonal and arsey pg women on this thread have annoyed you. Please accept our deepest apologies.

I think we should change the subject.

We have snow. What's the weather like where you are?

No, I think we should just ignore anyone who comes onto the thread and moans that they are just trying to be nice, and carry on discussing the annoying things people say to us.

My mother told me with my dc2 :"1st time round you looked fat, but at least this time you look pregnant ".

Excellent posts Engles as ever.

I'm getting pretty pissed off with texts from 2 old Uni friends at the mo. Every morning like clockwork "baby yet?" One of them has 2 kids already!

Either I'd have told them or I'm not ready to tell them, either way asking won't help.

Dragons is different.

Read this in a few months to see how self obsessed you sound!

Actually it's normal to be self obsessed while pregnant, it's your body's way of preparing you for massive changes to your life.

But please lighten up. Some people are irritating. Some are boring. Some are rude. Some are trying to be helpful. Some are just trying to make polite conversation until they can change the conversation to something that is really interesting to them.

And remember when you are not pregnant to completely ignore someone else's pregnancy and be assured that they will come on MN to complain about your complete lack of interest in them!

Million dollar question : What kind of person comes on to a message board for pregnant women about what is annoying them and tell them, yet again, that they shouldn't be annoyed by it?

Calling your post is fabulous. And what I have been thinking but couldn't think how to put it so eloquently as you

Alpaca I agree.

Jolly jingle. I hope that when shoe is on other foot I will remember how hard it is to be pregnant for the first time and will be incredibly supportive rather than dismissive.

It's a culture shock. This is my first.No matter how many books I've read, or stories I've heard it hasn't prepared me for how miserable I've been, how hungry but at the same time physically sick thinking about food. Nor how when I'm not hungry I have to make myself eat as I've not been hungry all day. Or indeed drank enough.
Or that my back hurts already.
Or when trying to shop have to abandon messages and get out of store before I either faint or throw up because it's too warm.
It didn't prepare me for being constantly told what not to do by utter strangers, having people rub my belly like I'm some good luck charm.
For crying at the slightest thing.
For being bat-shit scared at every slight change, not knowing if this is normal, because books paint the glossy "average" picture of pregnancy which my own is so far nothing like that. (Because the bad bits are played down in books I've read)

I could go on.
I have found this thread and the hyperemesis one to be fabulous.
They have both, in their own way, calmed my fears, made me realise I'm not the only one who is not having the "ideal" pregnancy.

And, importantly, allowed a bit of humour to shine through. Some of the ladies previous posts are written so well that you can't help but laugh in sympathy.

Yes I know having a baby is wonderful and that some people struggle. But that does not automatically mean I'm not allowed a wee moan now and then

thinks her nearly 12 hour sleep was not long enough. Gets off high horse gently

FYI. It's discussion of the day. I personally would not come on to the pregnancy board ever again I hope let alone seek out pregnant women and bore them with my advice.

Come again. The nice ladies here are complaining about people trying to be supportive! (Possibly failing). Supportive as in help with pregnancy nausea!

It's the whole point of the thread!

I absolutely agree and would rather had needles stuck in my eyes than be pregnant. It's awful. By all means moan about it and start a thread, but unkind to feel soooo aggressive to poor unwary folk who dare to suggest ginger biscuits.

Reading this has at least convinced me to ignore pg women and never give advice or support because they will be cursing me mentally.

No we are venting because we KNOW people are trying to be supportive and kind etc BUT when you're being so sick that gp have given you anti-sickness tablets just to help you keep water down, the ginger biscuit suggestion for gazillionth time kinda sticks in yer craw.

The point of this thread is to vent our feelings so in RL we don't say something ungrateful back to the people we know are just trying to be supportive, or are so pleased for us that they don't check what they are saying first.

I'm not a saint. I'm allowed to get annoyed and look for similar people who understand that frustration.

Ps. Discussion of the day? Where's that? I'm still finding my way around this site!!