Lies in Pregnancy books

[glitterkitty]

Whats your favorite? Mine is: 'In the 1st Trimester most women gain only 1-2lbs and look the same. Apart from bigger boobs.'

I gained 7lbs and sadly NONE of it has gone to my chest- so its all lies, I say... unfair!

evilanniedividedin2byalargeaxe - Well best to be prepared I guess, i had a fairly "trouble-free" time with first 2 (both on their due dates and both weighed the same). So due you recommend 3 kids then? - still panicing slightly!

Littlejem, I do recommend 3, in fact I'm now on no. 4!

And that is another lie... the labours get quicker as you go along.

Congratulations! What ages are your children?

5, 4, 1 and due in March. I've been busy...

Here's another one, coming off ADs while preg with no.3 "soon the euphoria of pregnancy will take over and you won't feel the need for ADs"

Yes there's nothing like vomitting my head off for 9 months to really get the euphoria going!

Wow! you have been busy! Our number 3 isn't planned so still trying to get my head around it all - can't help being excited though!

Here's one. "In the later stages of pregnancy gymnastics can be dangerous"!

Oh, go for it!! Enjoy your gymnastics now though, there'll be none of that nonsense for you later on!

Is it Miriam Stoppard that sys "Some pregnant couples find fellatio a satisfying alternative to intercourse."

Really.

And how does fellatio SATISFY me, exactly?

Just cringing at "pregnant couples". Only one vomitting, itching depressive with a creaking pelvis in this house...

Darn right!

And the picture in Miriam Stoppard of the women giving a flute lesson with the baby sitting quietly on the floor

"You may be able to keep working once you have had the baby"

WHAT SORT OF BABY IS THAT? What about the non-stop screaming for the first year?

I'm sorry I'm so puerile (sp), but there is a bit of a 'post juxtaposition' going on there, moaningpaper, for some reason 'fellatio' and 'flute lessons' in such close proximity has nearly made me snort tea out my nose

My DH claims that the main reason he enjoys fellatio so much is down to the fact that I enjoy it - should I really believe this!?

hehehe wasn't that a great line in The Royle Family?

"She plays a fine tune on the old pink flute, if you know what I mean Jim."

I am going to have to try and get a copy of this miriam stoppard book - sounds bloody fantastic!

little jem: no

he enjoys fellatio so much because there is a little lady drinking from the fountain of youth

Just read about preparing sandwiches for your partner while in the early stages of labour! While he's doing what exactly!?

Well Jem, he'll be doing the simple housework you 'allowed' him to do on the advice of the GP leaflet!!

I read that raspberry leaf tea can help bring about labour, and as I was booked in to be induced I decided to give it a go. It didn't work... I also heard that eating lots of curry and having sex might help; sex being a physical impossibility on account of my gigantic belly meant that curry was the way forward. It didn't work either, although it may explain my ds's love of tandoori chicken and peshwari nan!

I tried the curry tip when 12 days late with my daughter. I did go into labour about 6 hours later but can't say whether that was definitely down to the curry. However, the enormous poo that I did whilst trying to push my daughter out was most probably caused by the curry.......