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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Telling difficult neighbour re. baby

29 replies

pepperfish · 24/11/2014 16:52

Did anyone else notify their neighbours of their noisy new addition?

Our neighbour is, and has always been, 'difficult' about sound. We live in an old victorian terrace.

According our neighbour, we are loud and inconsiderate. We've never really got an explanation on how we are noisy exactly, we just get ranted at occasionally 'about the noise'. We don't have a TV, or any kind of music player, and we are both softly spoken people who work until 8pm and go to bed around 11. All a bit confusing but we've done what we can to be considerate.

Anyway, baby no.1 on the way - do we tell the cranky old bat out of courtesy or do we let her work it out for herself?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WerewolfBarMitzvah · 24/11/2014 16:54

Congratulations!

I wouldn't bother - they'll work it out.

theHowlatWooooooCorner · 24/11/2014 16:54

Id let her find out in the fullness of time. Don't start apologizing for your baby before he/she's even born!
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Fudgalisious · 24/11/2014 16:59

Let her work it out for herself, and the next time she complains tell her to speak to the council because as far as your concerned your not noisy so not really sure what you can do to help her.

Catsmamma · 24/11/2014 17:03

oh don't tell her and hide away until you are the size of a small building

THEN flaunt yourself at her ostentatiously and when she offers her congratulations on you impending arrival tell her you are just a bit fat and tear her off a strip for being so rude

Hopefully she will be so embarrassed she will hide forever and never trouble you again. :o

DaffodilField · 24/11/2014 17:13

Remember your baby is never as loud to other people as it is to you.
But I'd delight in waking her up at 3am with as screaming baby - she sounds awful.

dorasee · 24/11/2014 17:35

Unless she pays your bills, council tax, mortgage/rent, it's none of her business. You don't need to explain a thing or apologise for living your life. Congratulations!! Don't let your neighbour dampen your joy.

Peaceloveandbiscuits · 24/11/2014 17:43

My neighbours have been inconsiderate wankers the past three months with excessive amounts of DIY. I'm actually looking forward to getting my own back with my baby!

Pico2 · 24/11/2014 17:46

Our neighbours (who are lovely) mentioned that they could hear DD cry quite a bit. DD didnt actually cry much at all, but a local cat did a cracking impression of a baby crying, so I think that must have been what the neighbours could hear.

So I suggest that you blame it all on a local cat and say "what baby?" When confronted. Even when holding your baby in your arms.

UriGeller · 24/11/2014 17:49

You never know she might just turn out to have the biggest soft spot for babies and become a great babysitter with her big flapping ears.

Cobo · 24/11/2014 19:39

'Announcing' it to her officially as if she has a right to know would be a bit like an admission that a baby is a noise problem, and also an invitation for her to complain in future. I wouldn't say anything - your baby has every right to cry in your house!

DanyStormborn · 24/11/2014 19:43

I wouldn't talk to her unless it was a necessity and telling her you are pregnant isn't a necessity. She sounds awful.

MrsCK · 24/11/2014 19:50

We've just moved house and DC1 is due soon...I feel awful because of the sound but I think my walls are fairly thick!! I hope anyway!

I know I'll get stressed if I worry too much and that can't be a good thing!

CathyNoodles · 24/11/2014 20:22

Our downstairs neighbour already often 'mentions' that she can hear our toddler (even though we tell him not to run or jump or bang things around at home). She has also just had a family with a toddler and baby move in downstairs from her so she is sandwiched inbetween... I do feel bad, but what can you do!?

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 24/11/2014 20:27

I didn't and didn't show much. My annoying neighbour (she's the noisy one) found out I was having a second when she saw me and the 2 kids in the garden a week after DS2 was born, she was shocked as she didn't even realise I was pregnant apparently. :o

TheScenicRoute · 24/11/2014 20:46

No! You don't owe her anything. It's a normal life event having a child, she has not a leg to stand on if she complains. She'll soon notice your bump. DO NOT apologise for living your life!

Fleurchamp · 25/11/2014 06:46

We also live in a Victorian terrace, our neighbours have 3 extremely noisy children. I love the sound of them laughing and playing.

We never complain about the noise, even when one took to playing ball against our party wall

Although I am secretly looking forward to giving them a taste of their own medicine

smogsville · 25/11/2014 10:50

The thing is, the babies born in next few months will be working to pay the pensions of some of the current complainants. It's the way of the world! If the birth rate drops dramatically we'll all be screwed.

Obviously parents of young children can take reasonable steps to minimise noise (not ignoring the kids or shouting at them and esp with toddlers, taking them out to burn off some energy) but beyond that children do tend to be quite noisy. Apart from all the neighbours mentioned by posters on this thread who were silent and biddable as children of course...

Congratulations on your pregnancy and what Cobo said.

blackwidow74 · 25/11/2014 16:38

Perhaps she is just lonely and looking for a reason to strike up convo even if it is just to complain ! I wouldn't tell her ... she will notice in her own time :) and if she don't like it she can always move !

seagull70 · 25/11/2014 16:43

I would day nothing.

We used to live in a terrace and had similar neighbours who were always complaining.

When our twins were born, they were furious and we may have placed the cots against the wall adjoining their bedroom so that they could enjoy the night feeds with us

croon979 · 25/11/2014 16:45

Poor you, she sounds like a total nightmare. If it was me, she would not be on that privileged list of people that I would be telling.

juneavrile · 25/11/2014 16:48

If she's complaining when you're not making any noise, then she sounds pretty unreasonable. She will have to live with baby noise, as they don't come with an on/off button.

If she makes a fuss, drop some earplugs through her door.

RevoltingPeasant · 25/11/2014 22:51

OP have you considered a home birth?

avocadotoast · 25/11/2014 23:12

I'm in a terrace and was feeling worried about our impending arrival and noise... But then, the house that backs onto us are really fucking noisy themselves, so I'm not warning or apologising for anything

If I were you, I wouldn't say anything (unless you do have major problems re teething, sleep etc). She can moan all she wants but babies cry, there's not a lot she can do about it.

smogsville · 26/11/2014 08:40

Revolting - brilliant!

Thumbwitch · 26/11/2014 08:41

I wouldn't bother either - she'll get to hear soon enough! why have your pleasure in your pregnancy spoilt by a bitter response? Don't put yourself through it. on your pregnancy.

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