Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/
If you need help in obtaining medication, this phone number is
brilliant:
024 7638 2020

Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy#!prescribinginfosub

I would like to thank Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.

Hi everyone, just checking in. This has been a bad week, even with the ondansetron. I could barely keep anything down and spent most of my time running between bed and the bathroom. Hoping this week will be better. Only 22 weeks to go!

auntievenom
That sounds awful. I'm so sorry it's been so bad for you.

How is everyone managing work, if at all? I've not been at work since this started 3 weeks ago and I am losing the will.

Hi NewShoes I haven't been able to work for the past 4 months as hg was so bad. Although I have constant nausea I am now managing to keep food and fluid down which has been such an achievement! I'm hoping to go back to work on the 17th Nov on phased return just so I can feel some sense of normality, though I need the doctor to write a return to work form for my employer to ensure I am OK to go back to work.

Auntievenom I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad

Does anyone else get irrationally cross/upset? When i need to eat i have to eat or i just lose it - i just screamed at dh as he was cross with me as i wouldn't chose what i wanted for breakfast. I didn't care just knew i needed to eat in that window of opportunity before the nausea closes back. Only instead of saying that i screamed at him
He and I are really struggling at the momemt as he is upset at the lack of affection (I can't bear to kiss him as his taste makes me want to vom) and my irratibility. I wanted to sit down and discuss abortion last week meaning that i wanted us to decide together when enough was enough as he is struggling with looking after the house and kids on top of working full time. I just thought that we needed to consider it but he went ballistic - abortion is not permitted by our religion but i believe there are exceptional circumstances - and said if i ever raised the topic again he would divorce me. I was a single mum to the dds and i don't want to do it alone. I don't know why im so unreasonable and grumpy and snippy - im just so tired and tired of feeling crap and i miss being mam.

Thanks Newshoes and Durham. I'm glad you're starting to feel better.
Work for me has been hit and miss. Luckily I work from home so I've been doing the minimum amount I can get away with and it's been enough. My boss is also really good, which helps.

DurhamRed I'm so glad that you've improved a lot, do take care, I always worry about people rushing back to work, you're weaker physically than you know, takes some time to recover.
Room How is the bleeding now? Thinking of you.
Muddy and NewShoes It seems a fair number of women with this get the awful spd, Kalidasa in particular gets it badly, it must be awful. I believe it's also a side effect and being forced to have so much bedrest for so long doesn't help. Muddy I hope it lifts for you before you reach the waddling stage, anyway. Brave of you to venture out to a class - I didn't dare go anywhere for several weeks (though I didn't suffer for long,unlike some of the poor women on here) without a carrier bag for emergencies (doubled up, because of holes). Dismal.

AuntieVenom I'm worried about so much vomiting - surely you must be dehydrated, you poor thing? I do think it might be worth asking the GP (take an advocate if possible, if you feel very weak as it's difficult to argue your corner when feeling about to puke, not as if it wouldn't prove your point) if s/he can add other meds, as they often do in severe cases?
xx

willow I'm so sorry that you're going through this while dh isn't being as supportive as he could.
I totally understand that small window when you're able to eat.

I hate all the time I'm forced to have off work although it helps to know I'm not alone.
I've also had to defer uni.
Life's just an awful waiting game atm.
I actually daresay vomiting has reduced. . I'm just desperate to get back to work. I'm in a primary school and I adore it. Can't puke all over the kids though!

new shoes spd is horrid isn't it. I can feel it already and am only 11 weeks, that weird unstable, falling apart feeling when I walk. When I went to the physio last time she was a great help so am hoping I can dig out the old information and exercises to relieve it. When I am no longer feeling poo. Mine did clear up a short time after birth though, it must be awful if you have it for longer.
I haven't worked for 3 weeks, not going back until early December. At least I hope I can go back. It is extremely dull and depressing being at home all the time. Still, dd likes mummy being around I guess, not that we have been out!
willow I know what you mean. I can feel the distance between dp and I. He is understanding and hasn't said anything negative about it. I just can't wait for a bit of relief from it all. I often get teary, mainly out of frustration and he is so sympathetic but like you, kissing and cuddling is off the menu and it's a lonely existence. Luckily I can still get my lovely squishy toddler cuddles.

Have finally scanned through the last few days to catch up - apologies, it turns out babies are time consuming!!

Not a lot to add to advice but just wanted to comment on the depression and second babies.

I was very down until about week 20 when my mindset shifted from hoping it would clear up and feeling guilty about everything and everyone to just accepting that for now this was the new norm. I then adjusted my life and expectations accordingly. It still utterly sucked but it made it more bearable mentally. My family and DH had been really worried about my mental state up until then. I think it's impossible to go through HG without being down/depressed to some extent. You are basically robbed of your life.

As for subsequent children, I swore blind that there was no way I was ever going to do it again but 8 days on I now understand why people would and probably will.

Hang on in there...

Hi all, sorry for those still suffering so badly. I've been enjoying a bit of a reprieve since last week, although I overdid things a bit yesterday and was very nauseous the vomiting has remained at bay so far. 34 weeks tomorrow so it's about time! I'm still taking my meds like clockwork though, I think I'm on them for the duration. Baby is still breech and my pelvis is still so painful, I'm so scared at the prospect of a section but will be so glad when this is over, however that happens.

Willow I'm so sorry you are struggling. I haven't kissed my DP on the mouth for about 6 months, and we haven't had sex since I found out I was pregnant. That's just the way it is when you are ill and he needs to be an adult and deal with it. He is witnessing how unwell you are so surely he can understand that you have enough demands on your body at the moment without him adding to it! I also understand why you are considering abortion. I had a massive meltdown when I hit 24 weeks and knew there was no going back, I have regretted this pregnancy almost every day and often wished for MC too despite this being a planned pregnancy after a very traumatic MC. I'm terrified that I will have no feelings for this baby when she is born, all I feel at the moment is resentment and contempt. I would terminate immediately if I ever become pregnant again, although we are going to be taking permanent steps to ensure that hopefully never happens. I hope you can get some respite from it all soon, whatever you decide. x

Hope everyone is doing okay today xx

Willow So sorry, I somehow missed your post. Try not to despair, things will get better. I think everyone feels that they can't go through with it at some point. I'm so sorry, I can't find how far along you are - for a lot of people that twelve week scan makes all the difference; suddenly they feel they can just about bear it. It is a strain on relationships; I don't think OH is being sensitive in his treatment of you threatening divorce - even if he doesn't mean it - at this point.
xx

Spoke too soon. Mil coming to get kids. I cannot be this ill forever surely

willow, your husband is asking a lot of you and I'm not sure it's feasible as things are now. I think most of us have considered termination at one point or another and some of us actually do have to take that option - even with much much wanted babies.

Can you go back to your doctor and ask for ondansetron? I'm a little afraid that without the right support you're going to end up with a versoin of PTSD or something. People do, and you're in a very hard place at the moment.

Once the baby is here things will clear up beautifully but the mental strain of HG is almost as intense as the physical.

If you can, do the little things that comfort you. A bath, a stack of favourite books if you get even 10 mins when you are able to read.

bas about bonding with the baby .... all I can say is that it -will- happen. It doesn't always happen immediately, but 1) you will probably get a giant wave of relief at not being sick and 2) you will love your baby. It will snap into place at some point.

I, er, ended up with a complete wobbly the last 3 weeks of the preg and had to go into hospital pretty well full time becuase things were so bad with the nausea and other strains. They had the emergency psychiatrist out to me and I wept and wept on his shoulder becuase I felt nothing for the baby except a desperate desire to be rid of it. It was freakish. He said calmly that it was due to unbearable stress and discomfort that once the baby was born, the bonding would be ok. He said, and I won't forget how gently he said it, "why shouldn't it? why shouldn't it?"

It will be ok.

Thanks everyone i've been able to eat today and its amazing what some food can do to moods. I'm not sleeping as the nausea/hunger cramps keep me awake. My DH is a wonderful man, as i said abortion is highly frowned upon by our religion and to be fair he would be entitled to divorce me if i broke our code of beliefs. He admitted that hes not coping with parenting/housework and we have come up with a pratical plan that covers the bare minimum. So all calm now. One positive is that while he has always valued my role as a stay at home mum he has said that going to work is much easier as he had no idea how much is involved

Im 10 weeks, 11 by my dates (its bloody obvious when i ovulate) but haven't gone a scan date yet as my lovely understanding midwife has been on holiday and i refuse to see anyone else.

Hugs for everyone else. And with subsequent pg my friend had two horrendus HG pregnancies, accidently concived a third and had just hit 30 weeks without even morning sickness. Same dad so her docs are utterly perplexed. So miracles do happen.

theconversation.com/the-princess-and-the-pregnancy-some-fully-sick-royal-news-11142

How do I link....
Charlotte bronte died after hg left her unable to eat and drink! I didn't know this. So much for "people didn't have this in my day".

NewShoes Sorry about relapse. I think - literary geek alert here - Charlotte Bronte died of the family TB brought on by the Hyperemesis, but in that age, nobody understood how she could not eat and they couldn't do anything much but give mint tea etc then. There probably are excellent herbal cures known by the old medicine woman and lost during the middle ages and well and truly forgotten by Victorian times.
Willow Hugs.
Meerka Lovely post. That sounds a very nice consuoltant; a humane one.
I'm anxious about that excessive vomiting for Auntievenom and also
about Room.
xx

lucinda oops, so I'm not quite right.Lol.

newshoes i hope you feel better soon

I can second that hg won't affect you bonding with baby. I had an awful pregnancy and labour with DD. Hg, spd, emcs and a prolonged stay in hospital, it took a while, a few days- she was in nicu and I was stuck on the ward so could only see her for a few hours a day and I still have a lot of guilt about that but I did bond and what's more I'm bloody doing it all again! Ultimately it's worth it. X

Thanks Meerka and muddy re bonding. I had no problem bonding with DS, it was love at first sight, but the HG wasn't as severe with him and I didn't feel as low as now. Hopefully I'll be okay, I'm certainly feeling better at the moment on the sickness front, just the possible section and abdo and pelvic pain thrown a spanner in the works! Ah well not long now. Hope everyone is feeling better this evening xx

It's v reassuring about bonding. I had hg last pregnancy but it was nothing like this. I just can't believe I'm only 9weeks in. I almost wish I could quit my job so I don't have explain to non sympathetic people why I'm still ill. I'm so sick of trying to explain to everyone. I'm not coping very well.

Thanks for all the useful info on here, I'm compiling a list of foods to try. I'm not suffering with hyperemesis, in fact I'm only suffering with slight morning sickness (constant nausea all day, so not even being sick) but still feel awful. Never had it with my first and we've just moved house so should be busy emptying boxes, as it is, I can barely move from the sofa.

Big thanks to everyone who's shared though, its really helpful.

purple I move house tomorrow-totally sympathise!
Nausea is vile isn't it.

Thanks NewShoes. I've not even cleaned the bathroom although luckily the previous owners left the house lovely and clean, still it's just not the same. Basically sleeping and eating little and often. Hoping your move is straightforward.

I'm now a SAHM to our 5yo and really feel I should be doing more around the house while she's at school. Shouldn't complain as there's plenty of people on here significantly worse than me, but I feel pretty helpless. I'm 7wks and it came on last week. Praying it's just a first trimester thing.

I hope that it passes quickly for you!

I haven't dont anything resembling housework for at least a month. Wah.